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W3akCr3atur3

W3akCr3atur3

Empty and hollow
Aug 3, 2020
362
It took 18 days, but could've been worse I guess, especially with new year and christmas.
I feel somewhat relieved knowing I have another way out which is less scary than rope. Although I don't have scale and antiemetics yet.
Tbh I probably won't use it anytime soon, because SI is pretty hard to overcome and I've accepted the fact than I'm a coward. Still it feels relieving knowing you have SN right there

 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,055
I understand why you'd feel so relieved, I see those with access to the SN as being fortunate. But anyway best wishes.
 
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Attrine

Attrine

Local Tweaker
Jan 9, 2024
24
truly the most freeing thing u can own , should be in the second amendment
 
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I

ilaya

Member
Dec 31, 2023
71
It took 18 days, but could've been worse I guess, especially with new year and christmas.
I feel somewhat relieved knowing I have another way out which is less scary than rope. Although I don't have scale and antiemetics yet.
Tbh I probably won't use it anytime soon, because SI is pretty hard to overcome and I've accepted the fact than I'm a coward. Still it feels relieving knowing you have SN right there

did you order from mds?
 
almaPerdida

almaPerdida

"Oh God, I’m so depressed." - Marvin
Nov 24, 2023
144
I know how you feel. My SN has arrived today and i'm still thinking if i should use it this semester or store it and keep trying to live. It says it expires on 2029 so i have a few years to think.

But it's good knowing there's an exit nearby. Think that CTB is irreversible and a big decision so you have time to see what works best for you. I hope you find peace regardless of what you decide and i wish you the best. Good luck!
 
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dinosavr

dinosavr

and if i’m turning blue, please, don’t save me 🌛
Dec 14, 2023
695
Same here. I'm really close to making my decision to give recovery another shot but owning SN gave me some kind of peace. It's hard to explain, I think you can understand what I mean. It's just that IF anything goes wrong, it's there to save me
Not sure what is MDS. I've ordered it from Russian source
and MDS is an ukrainian source, quite popular recently as far as I'm aware
 
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CloudyNightSky

CloudyNightSky

Specialist
Oct 28, 2023
302
Same. I just testet swallowing really salty water to be prepare (just took normal salt instead of Sn and mixed the amount I'm probably going to take 19g), and damn that's salty. Just with one drop on my tongue I knew I'm not gonna be able to drink all of it. I drank quite a bit, but I can't even finish this normal salt water. How should I manage to drink my Sn yo?? To know I'm not even able to go through with this is really depressing and I honestly feel so embarrassed.
But you're right, it's really relieving to have it.
 
W3akCr3atur3

W3akCr3atur3

Empty and hollow
Aug 3, 2020
362
Same here. I'm really close to making my decision to give recovery another shot but owning SN gave me some kind of peace. It's hard to explain, I think you can understand what I mean. It's just that IF anything goes wrong, it's there to save me

and MDS is an ukrainian source, quite popular recently as far as I'm aware
That's exactly how I feel. I still somewhat try to recover and SN is just a safety plan kinda. It does give a sense of peace.
Gotcha about MDS. Mine is different (probably not allowed to mention the name publicly)
 
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