Finally got a method down and it’s such a relief

[chloramine]

I think I finally got the night night method to work. A couple days ago everything reached the point where I was trying to ctb again for the umpteenth time and I actually started experiencing the head pressure and it felt like it was working. Other stuff happened so I ended up stopping (wasn't SI just outside circumstances), but having something that I believe will work makes it so much easier. The day after still has that isolation feeling that I find comes along with having tried to die the night before and no one knowing. I still want to die and I imagine I'll hit the point where I actually do something again, but just having an out makes things lighter. It makes everything more of a choice? I'm not sure exactly how to describe. I know other people here have experienced this as well. It's exciting and I wish I could share it with my friends, but I don't trust them and I don't think they would necessarily appreciate it.

 

[Jrmull1993]

@chloramine

It really is a major anxiety reliever once you develop a solid exit plan. I know my anxiety levels have decreased tremendously since I've refined my plan.

 

[Forever Sleep]

That does actually make sense. Think we are all uncertain and scared about our chosen methods- especially whether they will work.

Also understand that it must feel very odd and lonely knowing you had attempted cbt the night before. Can completely see why you wouldn't want to tell anyone in real life. Not the same but we can share your experiences to an extent here.

I'm sure it does feel like a relief to feel more confident in your method. I hope it brings you a kind of calmness moving forward and wish you all the best, whatever you decide.

 

[1000winds]

i can totally relate. as soon as my sn was delivered i felt relief. it calms me down knowing that my fate lies in a bottle stored safely in my closet. i sleep better now..

 

[FuneralCry]

Well if the Night Night method actually works, then I guess that it's always another option for ctb. I haven't heard of anyone succeeding with it, but if people have succeeded then they aren't still exactly around here to confirm it. I do think that for many it can be a relief and a comfort having a plan to exit this world. Nobody should have to feel as though they are trapped here. In my opinion, its never the best idea to tell others about ctb plans as after all we live in a world where suicide is so stigmatised. I wish you the best.

 

[chloramine]

That does actually make sense. Think we are all uncertain and scared about our chosen methods- especially whether they will work.

Also understand that it must feel very odd and lonely knowing you had attempted cbt the night before. Can completely see why you wouldn't want to tell anyone in real life. Not the same but we can share your experiences to an extent here.

I'm sure it does feel like a relief to feel more confident in your method. I hope it brings you a kind of calmness moving forward and wish you all the best, whatever you decide.

I really appreciate having this community for that reason. Being able to communicate this stuff without being terrified of people's reactions is so freeing. Understandably people get stressed when their friends want and are working to die, but trying to juggle their feelings about that while being in the state where death seems like the best option is exhausting. If I say something here it can just be about me.

Well if the Night Night method actually works, then I guess that it's always another option for ctb. I haven't heard of anyone succeeding with it, but if people have succeeded then they aren't still exactly around here to confirm it. I do think that for many it can be a relief and a comfort having a plan to exit this world. Nobody should have to feel as though they are trapped here. In my opinion, its never the best idea to tell others about ctb plans as after all we live in a world where suicide is so stigmatised. I wish you the best.

Yeah, obviously I can't say for sure, but the physical sensations matched up with what was supposed to happen. I'm fairly confident that it wasn't any kind of placebo effect given the amount of times I've tried in the past without anything near that. It was my second try of the night too. It took awhile to find what will hopefully work if I need it.

i can totally relate. as soon as my sn was delivered i felt relief. it calms me down knowing that my fate lies in a bottle stored safely in my closet. i sleep better now..

I'm glad you've gotten that calm too.

@chloramine

It really is a major anxiety reliever once you develop a solid exit plan. I know my anxiety levels have decreased tremendously since I've refined my plan.

It really is. I'm happy that you've found that relief.