lostx
New Member
- Aug 2, 2025
- 1
I've been lurking here for a while— I've decided to share a little bit about me and why I'm so fucked up. I guess I'm just looking to see if anyone else can relate to me and if we have similarities in our upbringings.
I've lived a pretty shitty life since the beginning. I was born and have 6 sisters and two brothers— my mom has issues and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I was constantly being abused by her and my sisters once my dad had to go away. My sisters would find every little reason to abuse me and would call me terrible things that would ruin my self-esteem early on— as well as my mother. My mom would call me things like fat
( I was never fat.) I never understood why she would do this but it really did give me poor self image and body dysmorphia. My mom would buy personal hygiene products for my sisters but really abandon me in that category— around the time I was going to middle school and high school I never wore deodorant and wore pretty ugly worn clothing and shoes. I would always be bullied and people constantly saying that I smell bad. I couldn't help it as she couldn't buy me anything to keep up with myself. I had to ask my oldest sister if I could use some of her things.. ( hygiene products and clothing. ) I forgot to mention that my oldest sister was probably the nicest to me growing up— for the most part. My mom would constantly tell me things like she hopes that
I get raped ( I would walk an hour to school and back during the weekdays. ) I was SA'd by one of my brothers since age 6– around the time I turned 15 I told my mom and sisters about it and they didn't believe me and did nothing— he also laughed at me in front of everyone and told them that I'm just crazy.
My family ruined me from the start. It plays a role on why I struggle with a lot of things to this day. My adult life gets even more interesting but I'm getting overwhelmed from all of the typing so maybe I'll post a thread of a pt2
I've lived a pretty shitty life since the beginning. I was born and have 6 sisters and two brothers— my mom has issues and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I was constantly being abused by her and my sisters once my dad had to go away. My sisters would find every little reason to abuse me and would call me terrible things that would ruin my self-esteem early on— as well as my mother. My mom would call me things like fat
( I was never fat.) I never understood why she would do this but it really did give me poor self image and body dysmorphia. My mom would buy personal hygiene products for my sisters but really abandon me in that category— around the time I was going to middle school and high school I never wore deodorant and wore pretty ugly worn clothing and shoes. I would always be bullied and people constantly saying that I smell bad. I couldn't help it as she couldn't buy me anything to keep up with myself. I had to ask my oldest sister if I could use some of her things.. ( hygiene products and clothing. ) I forgot to mention that my oldest sister was probably the nicest to me growing up— for the most part. My mom would constantly tell me things like she hopes that
I get raped ( I would walk an hour to school and back during the weekdays. ) I was SA'd by one of my brothers since age 6– around the time I turned 15 I told my mom and sisters about it and they didn't believe me and did nothing— he also laughed at me in front of everyone and told them that I'm just crazy.
My family ruined me from the start. It plays a role on why I struggle with a lot of things to this day. My adult life gets even more interesting but I'm getting overwhelmed from all of the typing so maybe I'll post a thread of a pt2
I send you a lot of hugs ad I hope you can find any relief here. This forum is the best thing that happened to me since years.
hello and welcome to sasu 
