Oct 4, 2020
I just cant handle anymore the feeling of being excluded.

This last week was pathetic. So many bad things happened to me.

Yesterday i went a little bit crazy. I screamed and argued in the streets.

I gave up on everything. I just cant handle anymore. I feel very sorry about the people who loves me, but i cant stand the suffering anymore. I am about to explode.

Today morning i just ended the only with that was keep me going, that was relationship with someone i dont love. She is a very nice person, but she does not deserves someone with in my depressive all-the-time mood.

Everything that i touch becames ashes. My past mistakes leaded me to shithole life. I wont be able to fullfill any dream or desire i had.

Unfortally things only gotten worse in 2020. I didnt died by covid, but the pandemic suspended my life when i was struggling to things get better. Now i lost my will and everything more.

I will CTB because i dont believe in miracles. I fucked my life. Theres no way turning back.