W3akCr3atur3
Empty and hollow
- Aug 3, 2020
- 358
For more than a year I couldn't "properly" cry. It's not that I didn't want it, but I just couldn't. Getting wet eyes or even 1 tear was a success for me. That numbness felt so terrible, so wrong. I envied people who can properly cry.
But recently I managed to cry a few times and pretty much every night for the last week I wanted to. As funny as it sounds, it was almost like re-learning how to cry. Each night more tears would come out. And tonight after thinking about how worthless my life and I are I was finally able to properly cry.
Feels like a great relief. Now I can not only cut myself or beat against the wall, but also cry again :)
Pretty much all hope for happiness or normal life is lost at this point, so at least there's that.
But recently I managed to cry a few times and pretty much every night for the last week I wanted to. As funny as it sounds, it was almost like re-learning how to cry. Each night more tears would come out. And tonight after thinking about how worthless my life and I are I was finally able to properly cry.
Feels like a great relief. Now I can not only cut myself or beat against the wall, but also cry again :)
Pretty much all hope for happiness or normal life is lost at this point, so at least there's that.