Finalize my inert gas set up (nitrogen)

[Babycaca]

2 weeks ago tried ctb with helium gas but failed,probably purity issue and I executed it wrong.then I worked really hard to set up again to make sure it's 100% going to work,thanks to the megathread here's my final work


2x 10L nitrogen gas with 99.999% purity (one for checking one for actual use,both 1500L inside but I wanna make sure it's enough quantities)

Make sure its a flow meter combined regulator,bought one without flow meter got me really frustrated

Leak test.my way is open the cylinder then close,check the pressure valve if there's any change after 24 hrs,or you can do a bubble test

O2 detector,checked last night the oxygen went down really fast,drop to 1% within a minute,I inhaled some (like ppl did with the balloon)felt faint n drunk,and kinda understand what ppl means "euphoria" feeling

Also many trivial things like spinner,tube,hose clamp,screwdriver,earplugs,plastic bag,headband…..but finally I set it up ,the only concern is I'm thinking can I do it on bed,laying down or on this wheelchair

And SI is another issue, I found sleeping pill(zopiclone) is a good way to relax my nerve,I ast time I tried Helium I took this 30 mins before,it really helps

I'd like to have you advice if there's still anything potentially missing, wish y'all could find peace either alive or pass

I'm on my way to meet my beloved mother again,I love her so so much wish we can meet right at the entry of other side

 

[NellyGoes]

You were fast getting all your stuff together!! I'm proud of you for that (bc I know how much struggle it is when you're in emotional pain, I am in the same/similar pain…).

both 1500L inside

Leak test

I'd do the bubble test (with valve open), pressure change may not be reliable.

wheelchair

So I don't know about cases like this (I think they exist). However I've read a reclining chair is best. Because if you do wheelchair you will slump forward when you lose consciousness. Will you use body straps to help tie you down (after you open the valve etc)? But your head will slump regardless. It may not matter though.. (bc it's not like you're gonna feel neck pain…).
I'm doing the bed but slightly reclined with pillows. I guess the wheelchair may be safer? (Cause less risk of rubbing bag anywhere). Curious to see what others may have to say about this!

headband

Is this to secure the bag around your neck (looks like this from the photo)? Are you sure it's "snug" enough? This one is so hard to figure out because there are no definitive instructions. As long as you think it "feels" right I hope it works.

Can I ask what brand/type bag you use? And do you have the tube taped inside or.. affixed some other way?


Finally… (bc I'm in such a similar pain as you are):

I'm on my way to meet my beloved mother again,I love her so so much wish we can meet right at the entry of other side

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and what your mother (and you) had to go through. cancer is SUCH a horrible fucking disease I hate it so much. I'm so sorry. She is at peace now.
My only question is.. are you sure your mother won't be "mad" if she sees you "showing up early"? Most loved ones wish for their loved ones on earth to remain living and try to heal to live out the rest of their life… but ofc I don't know you or your mother.
But just something to perhaps give some thought to, before fully deciding.
Either way, I'm sure your mother loves you so much and is only sending loving caring thoughts to you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace, I wish you the best.

 

[Skal]

2 weeks ago tried ctb with helium gas but failed,probably purity issue and I executed it wrong.then I worked really hard to set up again to make sure it's 100% going to work,thanks to the megathread here's my final work

May I ask how you failed? Did you pass out but then wake up?

 

[Babycaca]

You were fast getting all your stuff together!! I'm proud of you for that (bc I know how much struggle it is when you're in emotional pain, I am in the same/similar pain…).





I'd do the bubble test (with valve open), pressure change may not be reliable.


So I don't know about cases like this (I think they exist). However I've read a reclining chair is best. Because if you do wheelchair you will slump forward when you lose consciousness. Will you use body straps to help tie you down (after you open the valve etc)? But your head will slump regardless. It may not matter though.. (bc it's not like you're gonna feel neck pain…).
I'm doing the bed but slightly reclined with pillows. I guess the wheelchair may be safer? (Cause less risk of rubbing bag anywhere). Curious to see what others may have to say about this!



Is this to secure the bag around your neck (looks like this from the photo)? Are you sure it's "snug" enough? This one is so hard to figure out because there are no definitive instructions. As long as you think it "feels" right I hope it works.

Can I ask what brand/type bag you use? And do you have the tube taped inside or.. affixed some other way?


Finally… (bc I'm in such a similar pain as you are):


I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and what your mother (and you) had to go through. cancer is SUCH a horrible fucking disease I hate it so much. I'm so sorry. She is at peace now.
My only question is.. are you sure your mother won't be "mad" if she sees you "showing up early"? Most loved ones wish for their loved ones on earth to remain living and try to heal to live out the rest of their life… but ofc I don't know you or your mother.
But just something to perhaps give some thought to, before fully deciding.
Either way, I'm sure your mother loves you so much and is only sending loving caring thoughts to you.

Thanks for keep advising and help me through this journey,I'm sorry you have to go through similar struggles,I'm so desperate to get outta here so I really focusing on it

-the headband size is proper,right stick on neck with slight pressure but not too tight or feel sealed,I tried it before buying

-I use a strong sticker to put the tube and the bag together,it's so solid I can't even pull it off without breaking the bag

-the bag I just find it somewhere in my home,it's hard to specific buy a transparent plastic bag out there

-I feel the wheelchair might not be secure too,it has a seat belt tho I still worry about falling and head position after lose conscious,not to mention convulsion…I'm seeking a way to do to on bed too

-I rehearsed it twice last night,first time I put my head into the filled up bag and breathe normally,after 15-20 secs I still don't feel fainting or conscious fading,no any other unpleasant signs tho,then I try again but this time I breathe out totally before I pull the bag down then take a long deep breaths immediately when I'm in it,it's start to feel something and it's real fast!!!!

I had this conversation with my mother for several times,esp during her last period,she said doesn't want me to do it but she understand and wouldn't blame me,she knew Ive been living a hard life,I don't see myself a victim and don't wanna be resentful or cynical,but it's just really too much for me,I lost my mother and best frd in 1 yr,all my fortune I saved for decade,and bunch of childhood traumas….I have no desire to keep going,I feel panic even just think about I still have to live for years

May I ask how you failed? Did you pass out but then wake up?

I think it's the purity of the gas,also I didn't fill it up before I put my head in,I felt headache,eyes burn,chest pain,and slightly suffocating…but no sign of passing out,then I pull it off immediately

 

[Skal]

I think it's the purity of the gas,also I didn't fill it up before I put my head in,I felt headache,eyes burn,chest pain,and slightly suffocating…but no sign of passing out,then I pull it off immediately

this time I breathe out totally before I pull the bag down then take a long deep breaths immediately when I'm in it,it's start to feel something and it's real fast!!!!

Hope it works out well this time!

 

[NellyGoes]

Thanks for keep advising and help me through this journey,I'm sorry you have to go through similar struggles,I'm so desperate to get outta here so I really focusing on it

-the headband size is proper,right stick on neck with slight pressure but not too tight or feel sealed,I tried it before buying

-I use a strong sticker to put the tube and the bag together,it's so solid I can't even pull it off without breaking the bag

-the bag I just find it somewhere in my home,it's hard to specific buy a transparent plastic bag out there

-I feel the wheelchair might not be secure too,it has a seat belt tho I still worry about falling and head position after lose conscious,not to mention convulsion…I'm seeking a way to do to on bed too

-I rehearsed it twice last night,first time I put my head into the filled up bag and breathe normally,after 15-20 secs I still don't feel fainting or conscious fading,no any other unpleasant signs tho,then I try again but this time I breathe out totally before I pull the bag down then take a long deep breaths immediately when I'm in it,it's start to feel something and it's real fast!!!!

I had this conversation with my mother for several times,esp during her last period,she said doesn't want me to do it but she understand and wouldn't blame me,she knew Ive been living a hard life,I don't see myself a victim and don't wanna be resentful or cynical,but it's just really too much for me,I lost my mother and best frd in 1 yr,all my fortune I saved for decade,and bunch of childhood traumas….I have no desire to keep going,I feel panic even just think about I still have to live for years

I think it's the purity of the gas,also I didn't fill it up before I put my head in,I felt headache,eyes burn,chest pain,and slightly suffocating…but no sign of passing out,then I pull it off immediately

Wow you rehearsed like that? You were "lucky" that you didn't die immediately! They say many have died "in practice" like this bc the gas can be really fast. But I'm glad it's working!

I'm so glad you talked with your mother about this and she understood. I think making peace with all those struggles we have in life is perhaps needed to say goodbye to this world…

I really hope everything works out as you wish. Do you have a date for your next try, will you be making a goodbye post? I wish you all the best and hope you find the peace you so long for and deserve.

 

[Babycaca]

Wow you rehearsed like that? You were "lucky" that you didn't die immediately! They say many have died "in practice" like this bc the gas can be really fast. But I'm glad it's working!

I'm so glad you talked with your mother about this and she understood. I think making peace with all those struggles we have in life is perhaps needed to say goodbye to this world…

I really hope everything works out as you wish. Do you have a date for your next try, will you be making a goodbye post? I wish you all the best and hope you find the peace you so long for and deserve.

I wouldn't mind if I die by rehearsing tho,just I live alone now I don't want my home fill with corpse smell and body decay when I got found,I plan to set an IG post like after 8-10 hours

I tried to do it several times after my mothers funeral back in late Jul,bought 10kg charcoal for CO poisoning,but my home don't have a "sealed room",it also quite well ventilated so it might not work well,then I thought about jumping off,but the top floor of my building is prohibited,also it's too scary,in mid Aug I found that inert gas method, failed with helium then I got these nitrogen set up,mid Oct will be my mothers birthday I wish I can success before that,I feel like a coward for still being here,so pissed by my own weakness

 

[NellyGoes]

I wouldn't mind if I die by rehearsing tho,just I live alone now I don't want my home fill with corpse smell and body decay when I got found,I plan to set an IG post like after 8-10 hours

You'll be announcing your death on IG? Will people who know your address see the post? Hopefully IG won't censor it before that.

I tried to do it several times after my mothers funeral back in late Jul,bought 10kg charcoal for CO poisoning,but my home don't have a "sealed room",it also quite well ventilated so it might not work well,then I thought about jumping off,but the top floor of my building is prohibited,also it's too scary,in mid Aug I found that inert gas method, failed with helium then I got these nitrogen set up,mid Oct will be my mothers birthday I wish I can success before that,I feel like a coward for still being here,so pissed by my own weakness

I feel that. It feels like forever for me too. It's time. If everything goes well for me I won't be reaching October.

I'll be looking out for any posts by you before then. If I don't see any further posts I wish your plan goes well in whichever way you hope for. Much love to you and your mother too.

 

[Babycaca]

You'll be announcing your death on IG? Will people who know your address see the post? Hopefully IG won't censor it before that.



I feel that. It feels like forever for me too. It's time. If everything goes well for me I won't be reaching October.

I'll be looking out for any posts by you before then. If I don't see any further posts I wish your plan goes well in whichever way you hope for. Much love to you and your mother too.

I love you too stranger,your words moved me and make me feel I'm not alone,wish you can find peace with whatever your decision is,you finish your set up too?

I plan to just simply post a "bye" on IG I think they all will get it

 

[kunikuzushi]

It sounds like you've suffered through so much. I'm so sorry, and I really hope everything goes well and you find peace. And I hope you know you're not alone in this process because people here will be thinking about you. But I'm sorry it can feel so lonely. I wish you the best.

 

[58Alice85]

i am jealous

 

[auto138491]

I wouldn't mind if I die by rehearsing tho,just I live alone now I don't want my home fill with corpse smell and body decay when I got found,I plan to set an IG post like after 8-10 hours

I tried to do it several times after my mothers funeral back in late Jul,bought 10kg charcoal for CO poisoning,but my home don't have a "sealed room",it also quite well ventilated so it might not work well,then I thought about jumping off,but the top floor of my building is prohibited,also it's too scary,in mid Aug I found that inert gas method, failed with helium then I got these nitrogen set up,mid Oct will be my mothers birthday I wish I can success before that,I feel like a coward for still being here,so pissed by my own weakness

You are not a coward. And i am saying that bcs i feel taht way too. So its for you and for me that I am saying this.

 

[Nightfoot]

Did you make an exit bag based on how the Peaceful Pill Handbook recommended? It looked too complicated for me, with the drawcord, getting the holes right, etc.

 

[soul2realm]

dear Babycaca
Meeting one's mom and being in her embrace is something I look forward to as well. and yes, it does take some time to garner enough strength to go through with it. I am still doing the same after my first attempt 45 days ago.
Hope it was a bit easier. Well, then why not life itself...right!
I hope things work out for us all.
One similarity, on my first attempt I too waited for 12 seconds and nothing happened. I guess i didn't empty my lungs out.