Discussion Feels Trip: Most Intense Emotion Of the Day?

[NodusTollens]

I have BPD, so my emotions can be erratic at best, so I'm always ready for a Feels Trip. Drivers (emotions) change often, some are more intense than others & as always, I'm just along for the ride.

The emotion of the day seems to be anxiety: waking up (twice) with my chest pounding, racing thoughts... I would consider waking up this way to be negative. As it usually means I had a nightmare.

—/—/—​

What about you? Hop on this feels trip & tell me how you're feeling today.
Would you consider it positive or negative experience?

 

[WornOutLife]

Interesting experience, bro.
I'd say I've been exactly in your shoes today; anxiety is ruining my day. Couldn't sleep and the racing thoughts are not planning to stop!

I wish I could turn my brain off somehow lol

 

[NodusTollens]

Interesting experience, bro.
I'd say I've been exactly in your shoes today; anxiety is ruining my day. Couldn't sleep and the racing thoughts are not planning to stop!

I wish I could turn my brain off somehow lol

Oh noo ! Isn't that just the worst? I'm sorry it's got you in its snare too. It makes daily activities that much harder- as if we needed that. Ahah


Has anything helped you manage it today? I've been listening to "Pink Noise" since I got up, it's really helped. For being static, it's oddly calming.

Sending HUGS your way.

 

[signifying nothing]

Yes, anxiety day today. Meeting with a doc in a bit isn't helping, already been self harming, which he will surely see.

 

[NodusTollens]

Yes, anxiety day today. Meeting with a doc in a bit isn't helping, already been self harming, which he will surely see.

Anxiety's been busy today. :(

I'm sorry it's affecting you so intensely today, HUGS. Here's hoping your meeting with your doctor goes well, good luck.

 

[booray]

For me, anxiety is the emotion of the day every day. I don't experience chest pounding so much as I hyperventilate. I tend to make strange whimpering sounds, even in public, which is why I dread going to the grocery store. Then, of course, there are the racing thoughts of doom. I never experienced anxiety until August 2020, and since then, it's been pretty much all day long every day. Breathing brings only temporary relief. Mindfulness is a crock of shit when one is unemployed with no income coming in at all and constantly worried about money. I've noticed that bright sunny days are worse for me than gray cloudy ones. I guess this is because sunshine is supposed to make you feel happy; it only makes me feel worse.

 

[NodusTollens]

For me, anxiety is the emotion of the day every day. I don't experience chest pounding so much as I hyperventilate. I tend to make strange whimpering sounds, even in public, which is why I dread going to the grocery store. Then, of course, there are the racing thoughts of doom. I never experienced anxiety until August 2020, and since then, it's been pretty much all day long every day. Breathing brings only temporary relief. Mindfulness is a crock of shit when one is unemployed with no income coming in at all and constantly worried about money. I've noticed that bright sunny days are worse for me than gray cloudy ones. I guess this is because sunshine is supposed to make you feel happy; it only makes me feel worse.

I'm really sorry to hear that. Anxiety really is unbearably crippling when it wants to be. I just want to say that I applaud you for getting through your days, with anxiety being as physically & emotionally draining as it is. I couldn't process my thoughts at all until I turned on pink noise. To me it sounds like static at first, but then it starts to sound like heavy rain. Maybe it could help you. :T

I agree with you about feeling worse on sunny days, it almost sets an expectation that you have to be happy/content when that's the last thing you're feeling.

Wishing you well.

- journey - xo

 

[WornOutLife]

Oh noo ! Isn't that just the worst? I'm sorry it's got you in its snare too. It makes daily activities that much harder- as if we needed that. Ahah


Has anything helped you manage it today? I've been listening to "Pink Noise" since I got up, it's really helped. For being static, it's oddly calming.

Sending HUGS your way.

So far, nothing! I just want to sleep but my mind won't allow me to do it.

I'm glad you're feeling better :)

 

[NodusTollens]

So far, nothing! I just want to sleep but my mind won't allow me to do it.

I'm glad you're feeling better :)

Oh no, still? Ugh. :( Maybe a run could help? You mentioned it's helped you clear your mind in the past. Sending positive vibes you way, hope you're able to sleep.

Thank you. :)

 

[Fehler]

I would say that the most intense emotion that I have carried today has been sadness and regret, many things postponed ... some of them important because if I went to ctb why would I worry about it? In addition to the anger over nonsense ... well today I found a half flooded dining room thanks to the washing machine.
I don't know if it was because of the "SI", false hope or simply cowardice, but I don't think I should continue here. Then I wake up another day and see things more passable, but to what extent is it worth continuing like this.

 

[booray]

I'm really sorry to hear that. Anxiety really is unbearably crippling when it wants to be. I just want to say that I applaud you for getting through your days, with anxiety being as physically & emotionally draining as it is. I couldn't process my thoughts at all until I turned on pink noise. To me it sounds like static at first, but then it starts to sound like heavy rain. Maybe it could help you. :T

I agree with you about feeling worse on sunny days, it almost sets an expectation that you have to be happy/content when that's the last thing you're feeling.

Wishing you well.

- journey - xo

Thank you for your kind words. I'll check out pink noise, but I suspect that the only relief I will ever get from anxiety is when I ctb.

 

[MrBlue]

Anxiety has also been the driving force of my emotions today. That and disgust. I've become acutely aware that I'm my hair is thinning, and my hair was one of my only features I was ok with so I'm becoming obsessive about it. I used have hair like Matt Smith but I'll likely have to shave it off by next year now.
I've also just gotten my job start date, which should be good news but is causing me to panic alot. Despite waiting forever for it I'm still not ready.

 

[NodusTollens]

I would say that the most intense emotion that I have carried today has been sadness and regret, many things postponed ... some of them important because if I went to ctb why would I worry about it? In addition to the anger over nonsense ... well today I found a half flooded dining room thanks to the washing machine.
I don't know if it was because of the "SI", false hope or simply cowardice, but I don't think I should continue here. Then I wake up another day and see things more passable, but to what extent is it worth continuing like this.

Oh man, not a flood. :( I'm sorry to hear it- you're having a rough day.

I know what you mean though, it's hard to give either your all, when you don't know which side of the fence you want to be on- and SI certainly doesn't help. Here's hoping your day turns around, at least a little.

Wishing you some peace of mind in your decisions. HUGS.

—/—/—​

@MrBlue
HUGS. Sorry to hear about your hair, that's not easy to have to go through, sometimes it can feel like a hit to the self-esteem. Here's hoping you're wrong about needing to shave it off next year, from your example, it sounds luscious.

Congrats on your new job. :) I can understand why you don't feel ready, it's nerve racking starting a new job. One thing- they did hire you for a reason. You're right to feel anxious because it's new & who knows what to expect. Though, would it be possible for you to wait to make a conclusion about whether or not you're ready till after the first day? It's hard to know if you're ready until you do it.

Best of luck on your first day.

 

[booray]

Anxiety has also been the driving force of my emotions today. That and disgust. I've become acutely aware that I'm my hair is thinning, and my hair was one of my only features I was ok with so I'm becoming obsessive about it. I used have hair like Matt Smith but I'll likely have to shave it off by next year now.
I've also just gotten my job start date, which should be good news but is causing me to panic alot. Despite waiting forever for it I'm still not ready.

I know a guy named Matt Smith who is completely bald and it's a good look on him.

 

[WornOutLife]

Oh no, still? Ugh. :( Maybe a run could help? You mentioned it's helped you clear your mind in the past. Sending positive vibes you way, hope you're able to sleep.

Thank you. :)

That actually worked and now I'm feeling much better! I just hope I can sleep tonight.
Thanks a lot for your support =)

 

[NodusTollens]

That actually worked and now I'm feeling much better! I just hope I can sleep tonight.
Thanks a lot for your support =)

Really? That's great!
I have my fingers crossed for you, next stop- a good night's sleep.

You're welcome. :)

 

[wordsonscreen]

The anxiety nightmare combo is awful! I often wake up to panic attacks that last hours and its terrible. So sorry you had such a morning.

For me, pain. Today has been a painful day.

 

[NodusTollens]

That sounds awful, sorry to hear that you're have panic attacks too. Hopefully with some rest, you'll start to feel better.

 

[whywere]

For me it is depression and chronic pain. Both feed off of each other and it has been a crappy day. 2 attempts so far and with the 24/7 pain it is so hard to keep everything together.

 

[NodusTollens]

For me it is depression and chronic pain. Both feed off of each other and it has been a crappy day. 2 attempts so far and with the 24/7 pain it is so hard to keep everything together.

:( Sorry to hear that you're experiencing so much pain today. HUGS. I can appreciate what you're going through, chronic pain exasperate my MH too.

I feel you, & I hope you're able to find a solution that works best for you. Pain itself is unbearable- not to mention when it's chronic. So it's understandable that you have previous attempts, as days pass it starts to feel hopeless. I wish there was something I could do to take your pains away.

Sending you hugs & positivity, SS isn't the same without yours. :)

 

[loopylou]

Angry :(. It's usually all I feel these days. I have bpd too

 

[NodusTollens]

@loopylou
:( Aww, sorry to hear anger's winning out today. HUGS. To be angry & have BPD is an exercise in self control. I can imagine it's been an exhausting day for you. If you can, maybe it's time for some me time, I hope you can treat yourself to something special.

Hopefully anger takes a break tomorrow.

 

[MindFrog]

I feel like puking from anxiety right now. It's always been like that. That's why when I get into fights, I never eat. My heart grows heavy and acid goes up to my neck.

It's a suffocating feeling.

 

[NodusTollens]

I feel like puking from anxiety right now. It's always been like that. That's why when I get into fights, I never eat. My heart grows heavy and acid goes up to my neck.

It's a suffocating feeling.

Oh- I'm sorry. HUGS! Today hasn't been kind to you. :( What you're going through sounds overwhelming & awful. :(

I wish words could take your pain & panic attacks away, you deserve some peace & relief. I hope tomorrow's an easier day for you. Sending HUGS.

 

[jesse]

My emotion of the day is insecurity. It feels like everything I've ever done or ever could do would be foolish, and I should quickly cull myself from the species to avoid further embarrassment. I know these feelings will pass, eventually. Can't wait until they do.

 

[NodusTollens]

My emotion of the day is insecurity. It feels like everything I've ever done or ever could do would be foolish, and I should quickly cull myself from the species to avoid further embarrassment. I know these feelings will pass, eventually. Can't wait until they do.

I hear what you're saying, insecurities have a way of eating at our self-esteem & making us feel worthless. :T HUGS. That said, I can appreciate your desire to CTB, because it's hard to be constantly bombarded by the worst things we've said / done.

I hope these thoughts pass quickly & you're able to relax with some peace of mind.

 

[Meditation guide]

I've been energetic and angry the past 3 days. I get really sick and tired of everyone on the planet and vow to take myself away completely from everyone. I consider this healthy for me as I turn to my work, which offers many more rewards than my usual interactions.

I tend to have confidence in myself, and I feel too much for other people when they have problems, to my own detriment. I have so much empathy I forget about my own needs.