Venting Feeling very fragile

[Dark days]

Someone asked me questions during a private chat on here. I opened up about really personal stuff (which is a big deal for me) and got no response. A while later got a reply of 3 words, which felt empty.

Feeling very fragile, vulnerable and exposed. My life is very miserable, lonely and isolated. No one around me understands or can really relate to what I'm going through.

I feel so lost, inadequate, a failure and hopeless most of the time. I cannot continue like this, its unsustainable.

I think about ctb all the time. I am barely existing. Every day I wish it were my last. If I'm lucky enough to get any sleep, I wish I never wake up, but then I do. Feels like a never ending, relentless nightmare. I always have that sinking feeling, 'oh no, I'm still here!...'. Each day is getting harder to endure.

I don't know what to do? I want all the pain and suffering to end, but have very limited options. The light has gone, only darkness remains and lingers on. Its like trying to escape from quick sand or wading in treacle. Everything seems impossible. I'm exhausted. Everything I try fails. I've given up and have had enough. I'm ready to go, but I'm still here. Help!

 

[theguineapigking]

Hi. I'm sorry that you're in pain.


What's making you feel this way? Have you tried meds? Do you have friends or family? How do you know that nobody understands? Have you tried taking with them?


If you need someone to talk to,I'm here. I've private messaged a few people. Every time one of them stopped talking with me,it was because they lost communication. I will listen and reply as best as I can while I'm alive. Feel free to pm me if you want to. I'm going to sleep soon(est time late sleeper) But I'll reply later if I see a message.

I wish you the best in the meantime. :)

 

[Dark days]

Hi. I'm sorry that you're in pain.


What's making you feel this way? Have you tried meds? Do you have friends or family? How do you know that nobody understands? Have you tried taking with them?


If you need someone to talk to,I'm here. I've private messaged a few people. Every time one of them stopped talking with me,it was because they lost communication. I will listen and reply as best as I can while I'm alive. Feel free to pm me if you want to. I'm going to sleep soon(est time late sleeper) But I'll reply later if I see a message.

I wish you the best in the meantime. :)

Thank you for taking the time to reply. What I'm going through is overwhelming, too much for me to handle or go into on a public forum at the moment. I may pm if I have the strength and courage to. Have a restful sleep.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Someone asked me questions during a private chat on here. I opened up about really personal stuff (which is a big deal for me) and got no response. A while later got a reply of 3 words, which felt empty.

Feeling very fragile, vulnerable and exposed. My life is very miserable, lonely and isolated. No one around me understands or can really relate to what I'm going through.

I feel so lost, inadequate, a failure and hopeless most of the time. I cannot continue like this, its unsustainable.

I think about ctb all the time. I am barely existing. Every day I wish it were my last. If I'm lucky enough to get any sleep, I wish I never wake up, but then I do. Feels like a never ending, relentless nightmare. I always have that sinking feeling, 'oh no, I'm still here!...'. Each day is getting harder to endure.

I don't know what to do? I want all the pain and suffering to end, but have very limited options. The light has gone, only darkness remains and lingers on. Its like trying to escape from quick sand or wading in treacle. Everything seems impossible. I'm exhausted. Everything I try fails. I've given up and have had enough. I'm ready to go, but I'm still here. Help!

I'm so sorry this happened to you and made you feel worse. I believe most members on here will have others best interests at heart, but not everyone for sure. It's very easy to open up to someone when you are feeling vulnerable. And if they can't cope with it, you get shut down and that really sucks.
I know what it feels like to live moment to moment and wonder how you can still manage to be here.
If you want to talk in PM I'll listen. I may not give you the answers you want to hear, but hey, life IS tough. I'll do my best to listen.

 

[theguineapigking]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. What I'm going through is overwhelming too much for me to handle or go into on a public forum at the moment. I may pm if I have the strength and courage to. Have a restful sleep.

That's completely understandable. You should try to find something you enjoy in the meantime. Maybe watch South Park or some funny tv show? Or splurge on something you normally wouldn't?


Take your time. I'm here if you ever need to message. Today or in a week(if I'm alive since I honestly don't know how long I will be. ) If I don't reply it's because I'm injured or gone. But I won't ignore you :)


Hopefully you feel a bit better(realistic view)

 

[Otter]

I totally resonate with your post. I have struggled with depression my whole life, but went through a severely dark time about 8 months ago where I felt exactly like what you described you are going through. I was literally living minute-to-minute, doing breathing exercises 15 or 20 times a day and eating Xanax. I'm not going to tell you it gets better, because everyone is different , and it might not. I'm sorry you feel abandoned by that person you confided in and I hope it wasn't malicious on their part.
I'm sending out some vibes your way that I hope your life starts looking up, even if it's just a tiny bit at a time. Message me anytime you want if you get in a bad spot and just want someone to sit with you. Best wishes!

 

[Dark days]

I'm so sorry this happened to you and made you feel worse. I believe most members on here will have others best interests at heart, but not everyone for sure. It's very easy to open up to someone when you are feeling vulnerable. And if they can't cope with it, you get shut down and that really sucks.
I know what it feels like to live moment to moment and wonder how you can still manage to be here.
If you want to talk in PM I'll listen. I may not give you the answers you want to hear, but hey, life IS tough. I'll do my best to listen.

Thank you

 

[Viola]

Someone asked me questions during a private chat on here. I opened up about really personal stuff (which is a big deal for me) and got no response. A while later got a reply of 3 words, which felt empty.

Feeling very fragile, vulnerable and exposed. My life is very miserable, lonely and isolated. No one around me understands or can really relate to what I'm going through.

I feel so lost, inadequate, a failure and hopeless most of the time. I cannot continue like this, its unsustainable.

I think about ctb all the time. I am barely existing. Every day I wish it were my last. If I'm lucky enough to get any sleep, I wish I never wake up, but then I do. Feels like a never ending, relentless nightmare. I always have that sinking feeling, 'oh no, I'm still here!...'. Each day is getting harder to endure.

I don't know what to do? I want all the pain and suffering to end, but have very limited options. The light has gone, only darkness remains and lingers on. Its like trying to escape from quick sand or wading in treacle. Everything seems impossible. I'm exhausted. Everything I try fails. I've given up and have had enough. I'm ready to go, but I'm still here. Help!

I'm so sorry and I really understand. I think sometimes it's easy to think because all of us here share a certain ideology then we will all automatically bond and understand each other.. and when we message one another that will be reflective of that. But actually as a consequence of mental illness so many of us have issues with communication, social phobia, feeling we aren't articulate or empowered enough to help others.. or just plain awkward. Don't take that personally.
The way you describe your feelings was really very eloquent and I relate to it entirely.. especially the wading through treacle part. There will be so many people here you can message who will have your back and understand you, me included. Don't give up xx

 

[Dark days]

I totally resonate with your post. I have struggled with depression my whole life, but went through a severely dark time about 8 months ago where I felt exactly like what you described you are going through. I was literally living minute-to-minute, doing breathing exercises 15 or 20 times a day and eating Xanax. I'm not going to tell you it gets better, because everyone is different , and it might not. I'm sorry you feel abandoned by that person you confided in and I hope it wasn't malicious on their part.
I'm sending out some vibes your way that I hope your life starts looking up, even if it's just a tiny bit at a time. Message me anytime you want if you get in a bad spot and just want someone to sit with you. Best wishes!

Thank you I appreciate your input and sharing, not everyone can relate or understand. Glad you didn't say 'it gets better'. Others say 'it can't get any worst...' but each time it does. Sending positive vibes to you too.

I'm so sorry and I really understand. I think sometimes it's easy to think because all of us here share a certain ideology then we will all automatically bond and understand each other.. and when we message one another that will be reflective of that. But actually as a consequence of mental illness so many of us have issues with communication, social phobia, feeling we aren't articulate or empowered enough to help others.. or just plain awkward. Don't take that personally.
The way you describe your feelings was really very eloquent and I relate to it entirely.. especially the wading through treacle part. There will be so many people here you can message who will have your back and understand you, me included. Don't give up xx

Thank you. Looking at it from that perspective makes sense. I think because I'm going through so much in my fragile state, it affects me more than usual. Sometimes difficult not to take it personally, when a person reaches out to you and asks questions, and then disappears for whatever reason? Difficult to know who's genuine and sincere or who to trust? I think sometimes when I pluck up the courage to to communicate with others in my vulnerable state the expectation or hope is that I will get a response. It can be damaging when I don't, especially when suicidal and feeling trapped. I feel like giving up all the time

 

[Iloveyouall]

Someone asked me questions during a private chat on here. I opened up about really personal stuff (which is a big deal for me) and got no response. A while later got a reply of 3 words, which felt empty.

Feeling very fragile, vulnerable and exposed. My life is very miserable, lonely and isolated. No one around me understands or can really relate to what I'm going through.

I feel so lost, inadequate, a failure and hopeless most of the time. I cannot continue like this, its unsustainable.

I think about ctb all the time. I am barely existing. Every day I wish it were my last. If I'm lucky enough to get any sleep, I wish I never wake up, but then I do. Feels like a never ending, relentless nightmare. I always have that sinking feeling, 'oh no, I'm still here!...'. Each day is getting harder to endure.

I don't know what to do? I want all the pain and suffering to end, but have very limited options. The light has gone, only darkness remains and lingers on. Its like trying to escape from quick sand or wading in treacle. Everything seems impossible. I'm exhausted. Everything I try fails. I've given up and have had enough. I'm ready to go, but I'm still here. Help!

Sorry to hear about how you're feeling. I don't know if I maybe could help you with anything you're enduring but if you feel the need to talk to someone, about anything actually, even trivialities, to feel less alone, don't ever hesitate to PM me.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I know that feeling. Just rest assured that that makes you a rational person. Realistically our lives are extremely fragile.