anxiousmess0471
Member
- Feb 4, 2024
- 46
I feel so trapped in this world. I was born into an immigrant family whose ideals don't align with mine. I am expected to get married and have children because that is what everyone else does. I don't want that kind of life. But I know if I fight against my family, I'll lose them. In order to do what I want, I would have to cut contact and do my own thing. The community of people around me, my family friends and such, will judge my decision and judge my parents for not raising me right. Knowing that, even though I don't have kids and am not married, I'll still feel miserable. But if I get married and have kids, I know it won't truly give me happiness. I feel so trapped. This is why suicide is my only option. At least in that way, I won't have to deal with the judgements of others or my parents being disappointed and angry with me. I hope that I can finally ctb before I have to deal with all of this, because I don't want to deal with the repercussions of the kind of life I want to live.
