• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

A

Aplev

Student
Oct 16, 2021
129
The pain. The despair. The sorrow. The helplessness. How my body degenerates over time, ever so slowly and yet at such a fast rate. It feels like I am already dead, yet I am still standing, still feeling, still suffering.

I want to run away. I tried to run away. But I saw the light again. It didn't end. It just doesn't end.

Is it paranoia? Is it reality? Is it a delusion? I just don't know. I just know that I want to stop feeling like there's nowhere I can go.

Their eyes, their mouths, everything reminds me of suffering, it's like it's all happening in my mind, but if that was true, why can't I make it stop?

When will it end? When will it stop?

I can't try again. If I try again and fail again, what will happen to me? Where will they take me this time?

Please, I am begging. Please, please end my pain. Please.

And yet, it's as if my pleas fall on deaf ears. Or maybe, even worse. Someone is enjoying watching me suffer. That's why they do nothing.

Or maybe there is no one. Maybe it's all pitch black where I am standing, and I just haven't realized yet.

Please, please, it can't get worse. But it becomes worse. Every day becomes harder than the previous one, somehow.

"You'll get used to it", "you get used to it as you grow up", I try to convince myself of. But it's just not true. It's just not true. I try, I try so hard, but there's no way out!

There's no way out!

I want a way out! I want to stop suffering, I want to stop hurting! Please, somebody save me!

But no one comes.

When will it end? When will it stop?

I am feeling trapped. Please, someone, please someone make it stop.

I can't make it stop by myself.

Maybe no one can.

I am feeling so trapped. So trapped. Maybe I am so trapped. All I can do is hope they'll release me soon.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: sad_dude, WAITING TO DIE and Darkover
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,620
It's really dreadful how people have to suffer so much in this existence, I hope that you eventually find the relief you search for.
 

Similar threads

CatAstro.Fee
Replies
5
Views
88
Recovery
enjoytheride
E
Wolf Girl
Replies
12
Views
352
Suicide Discussion
LastDayOnEarth
L
lost_one
Replies
7
Views
216
Suicide Discussion
wham311
W
CatAstro.Fee
Replies
6
Views
203
Suicide Discussion
LastDayOnEarth
L
cececinderella
Replies
2
Views
162
Suicide Discussion
enjoytheride
E