Feeling trapped, have no methods or money. Wanting to ctb everyday more and more .

[HermitLonerGuy]

This is the worst. I really feel i want to go, if i had a gun or N right now id defintely 100% be dead im sure. I dont have money to buy anything, and im useless with my hands so i cant tie a proper knot to hang. I was going to try drown myself but i realized it may not work and its also very scary. All i can think of now is jumping, which doesnt require money or any setup or work but even that is scary and isnt 100%. I just want to be done already. Im trapped in here. I need to be gone.

 

[unHumam]

I'm so sorry you feel like this. I hope you find peace, wherever that may lead you.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

I'm so sorry you feel like this. I hope you find peace, wherever that may lead you.

thank you, i hope i find peace too. I have to think very hard on a method.

 

[missingpeace]

I know what you mean, I'm desperate to go, too.. My problem is I don't have any privacy, someone is always at home. It's driving me crazy trying to think of a place where I can do it in piece. Also there is fear around things going wrong or it not working :( I wish it were legal for someone to supervise me into killing myself and ensuring a successful outcome.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm sorry that life has led you to this place you find yourself. I hope you can figure out something for yourself, even if it's not to CTB, that is best for you.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

I know what you mean, I'm desperate to go, too.. My problem is I don't have any privacy, someone is always at home. It's driving me crazy trying to think of a place where I can do it in piece. Also there is fear around things going wrong or it not working :( I wish it were legal for someone to supervise me into killing myself and ensuring a successful outcome

im sorry, it really is difficult to die. I wish i were never born rather than sufer and have to work so hard on how to end it.

I'm sorry that life has led you to this place you find yourself. I hope you can figure out something for yourself, even if it's not to CTB, that is best for you.

ctb seems like my only choice. thank you for your empathy though.

 

[jodes2]

Why do you think CTB is your only choice? There are almost always other options imo. But anyway... I'll try and help you with the CTB option too... Are you sure you can't tie knots? It doesn't need anything special, and a bit or time and patience to get a fairly basic knot could work. Jumping is a good bet if you're high enough, 10 storeys or 100m. And can't you save up for SN? If you can afford to eat, it shouldn't be hard or take long to save up for SN

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Why do you think CTB is your only choice?

i have a micropenis medically diagnosed, its a rare condition where a mans penis never grows during puberty. im a man with basically no penis. this is horrible. how can i live like this, im not even a man. im a sexless freak eunuch, people teased me eunuch and they right.

 

[jodes2]

They're wrong. They're assholes. You can ignore any bullies you've encountered. You can find a partner who is happy with your micropenis. It happens all the time. I've seen a lot of posts by people who say they have adapted to having a micropenis by finding a partner that accepted them. It's just a single facet of your life, it doesn't need to consume you. There are fucking asshole out there who bully who deserve to rot in hell for making you feel so bad. You honestly don't need to die to stop feeling like this. Don't let them have this effect on you, they should be completely ignorable, they're just irrelevant human beings. You don't need to consider what they said, you can prove to yourself that you can still lead a great, normal life. You don't need to kill yourself! This pain will pass. You will learn natural resilience to such people once you discover partners who are understanding. Friends who are understanding. They're all out there.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

They're wrong. They're assholes. You can ignore any bullies you've encountered. You can find a partner who is happy with your micropenis. It happens all the time. I've seen a lot of posts by people who say they have adapted to having a micropenis by finding a partner that accepted them. It's just a single facet of your life, it doesn't need to consume you. There are fucking asshole out there who bully who deserve to rot in hell for making you feel so bad. You honestly don't need to die to stop feeling like this. Don't let them have this effect on you, they should be completely ignorable, they're just irrelevant human beings. You don't need to consider what they said, you can prove to yourself that you can still lead a great, normal life. You don't need to kill yourself! This pain will pass. You will learn natural resilience to such people once you discover partners who are understanding. Friends who are understanding. They're all out there.

thank you but from my life experiences it is a major disadvantage to not only dating, but to how people view you. Its really terrible, it hurts alot. I wish i was just a normal man but the sad reality is this isnt a normal life no man should live like this, its just cruel. It disgusts me even and no women can be happy with this long term. It affects my life in so many ways too.

 

[Bardo]

thank you but from my life experiences it is a major disadvantage to not only dating, but to how people view you. Its really terrible, it hurts alot. I wish i was just a normal man but the sad reality is this isnt a normal life no man should live like this, its just cruel. It disgusts me even and no women can be happy with this long term. It affects my life in so many ways too.

I'm really sorry you're going through all this pain. I haven't had relations with a gal in about 15 years. It's now something I accept totally. I'm not religious or spiritual, but I do enjoy reading and studying. It helps quite a bit. That and Literotica;) What sorts of areas interest you?

 

[jodes2]

thank you but from my life experiences it is a major disadvantage to not only dating, but to how people view you. Its really terrible, it hurts alot. I wish i was just a normal man but the sad reality is this isnt a normal life no man should live like this, its just cruel. It disgusts me even and no women can be happy with this long term. It affects my life in so many ways too.

If it means anything, I would see you as a normal man. I don't think you have any reason to be disgusted with yourself. It's tragic you see yourself like this. It's purely because of bulling! Those cunts should be fucking physically tortured. Low self esteem is crippling. But I promise you, it's also fixable! Yes, it is cruel. I bet there's a proportion of women that would be fine with it. Not a very large proportion, but a measurable proportion nonetheless. There are ways to satisfy women :) how else does it affect your life if you don't mind me asking? Sorry if I'm being a pain

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

If it means anything, I would see you as a normal man. I don't think you have any reason to be disgusted with yourself. It's tragic you see yourself like this. It's purely because of bulling! Those cunts should be fucking physically tortured. Low self esteem is crippling. But I promise you, it's also fixable! Yes, it is cruel. I bet there's a proportion of women that would be fine with it. Not a very large proportion, but a measurable proportion nonetheless. There are ways to satisfy women :) how else does it affect your life if you don't mind me asking? Sorry if I'm being a pain

having an akward bulge in my pants, it looks like an acorn sticking out.
not able to use public restrooms or locker room.
not being able to do any contact sport( once other guys find out they become ruthless with teasing).
people give the bulge area weird looks when going out.
also people tease me eunuch and stuff.
people can just tell . Its either easy to tell since its not grown it sticks straight out and if i cover the area up with long shirts its like im a woman with no bulge and a sexless freak.
many women reject me due to it.
its one of the main reasons why im a hermit and isolate myself.

I'm really sorry you're going through all this pain. I haven't had relations with a gal in about 15 years. It's now something I accept totally. I'm not religious or spiritual, but I do enjoy reading and studying. It helps quite a bit. That and Literotica;) What sorts of areas interest you?

not much interests me these days besides maybe WWE , im mostly just rotting away.

 

[jodes2]

having an akward bulge in my pants, it looks like an acorn sticking out.
not able to use public restrooms or locker room.
not being able to do any contact sport( once other guys find out they become ruthless with teasing).
people give the bulge area weird looks when going out.
also people tease me eunuch and stuff.
people can just tell . Its either easy to tell since its not grown it sticks straight out and if i cover the area up with long shirts its like im a woman with no bulge and a sexless freak.
many women reject me due to it.
its one of the main reasons why im a hermit and isolate myself.

not much interests me these days besides maybe WWE , im mostly just rotting away.

You need to challenge your negative beliefs. Most people don't care what's between your legs. And a small proportion of people will want to make fun, but just shrug it off saying "yeah yeah whatever, I've heard it all before now fuck off you worthless bullying tosser before I get police onto you for harassment". How old are you? Cos most adults are respectful. It's kids that are more often mean. Either way, they're to be shrugged off. You don't have to let it stop you doing contact sports. Learn how to fight, and if really necessary, give someone a quick black eye and a funny retort like "now who's got the embarrassing bulge" or "now who looks like they've got the smaller penis". Either way, you need to learn how to be happy with yourself and not take shit. If you like, you can try to hide whatever it is you want to hide, but don't ruin your life by going to extremes. If you need to change, use a private locker room. If you need the toilet, just fucking go! Who cares if some random sees your privates? You won't have to see them again, and even if you do, so what? If they make a fuss, you make a fuss back and show that you're not intimidated. If you want, deal with the bulge issue with a sock or some other way so it's not as unusual, but also you need to challenge your beliefs here. Is it really that noticeable? Does anyone really care? It's only really you that has the issue with it, and bullies sense that and feed off it. Don't give them the satisfaction. Challenge the problem by challenging your negative beliefs. ALL of them. Then you'll be fearless and you'll be free. I've had to overcome similar things. I'm extremely short for a man, a bit effeminate AND I have a girl's name, AND I lur and stutter my words, and I've been painfully shy in the past due to lots of bullying. So I know exactly where you're coming from my friend. The only two problems you seem to really have are bullies and women, or three if you include self image. Your penis or bulge is not actually the real problem in a sense. It is but it isn't. You can't fix it, you shouldn't have to try. Just change how you deal with bullies, change how you find women, and change your negative beliefs. They're not accurate or realistic, and they're not helpful. You CAN live a 99% normal life. I promise

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

You need to challenge your negative beliefs. Most people don't care what's between your legs. And a small proportion of people will want to make fun, but just shrug it off saying "yeah yeah whatever, I've heard it all before now fuck off you worthless bullying tosser before I get police onto you for harassment". How old are you? Cos most adults are respectful. It's kids that are more often mean. Either way, they're to be shrugged off. You don't have to let it stop you doing contact sports. Learn how to fight, and if really necessary, give someone a quick black eye and a funny retort like "now who's got the embarrassing bulge" or "now who looks like they've got the smaller penis". Either way, you need to learn how to be happy with yourself and not take shit. If you like, you can try to hide whatever it is you want to hide, but don't ruin your life by going to extremes. If you need to change, use a private locker room. If you need the toilet, just fucking go! Who cares if some random sees your privates? You won't have to see them again, and even if you do, so what? If they make a fuss, you make a fuss back and show that you're not intimidated. If you want, deal with the bulge issue with a sock or some other way so it's not as unusual, but also you need to challenge your beliefs here. Is it really that noticeable? Does anyone really care? It's only really you that has the issue with it, and bullies sense that and feed off it. Don't give them the satisfaction. Challenge the problem by challenging your negative beliefs. ALL of them. Then you'll be fearless and you'll be free. I've had to overcome similar things. I'm extremely short for a man, a bit effeminate AND I have a girl's name, AND I lur and stutter my words, and I've been painfully shy in the past due to lots of bullying. So I know exactly where you're coming from my friend. The only two problems you seem to really have are bullies and women, or three if you include self image. Your penis or bulge is not actually the real problem in a sense. It is but it isn't. You can't fix it, you shouldn't have to try. Just change how you deal with bullies, change how you find women, and change your negative beliefs. They're not accurate or realistic, and they're not helpful. You CAN live a 99% normal life. I promise

thanks so much for your kind enocuragment and advice, i appreciate the effort.
you really think i can find a woman who will be happy long term with a dickless man?

 

[antico]

thanks so much for your kind enocuragment and advice, i appreciate the effort.
you really think i can find a woman who will be happy long term with a dickless man?

certainly ! if a woman is only judging you based on your genitals, you should really stay away from her, what matters is what's in your heart and mind, I'm sure you have a lot of amazing things to offer another person, like compassion, wisdom, and loyalty :)

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

certainly ! if a woman is only judging you based on your genitals, you should really stay away from her, what matters is what's in your heart and mind, I'm sure you have a lot of amazing things to offer another person, like compassion, wisdom, and loyalty :)

i mean lets be honest though instead of coping, a woman would expect a normal man who can make love to her in a normal way, not only for the physical sensation but to feel closer .

 

[jodes2]

thanks so much for your kind enocuragment and advice, i appreciate the effort.
you really think i can find a woman who will be happy long term with a dickless man?

Absolutely. I'd count it as a disability, just like any other. Some women won't want to get involved with one disability or another, others it won't bother, because there are ways to work around it. My girlfriend always reassures me she doesn't want a man with a big dick! I have a slightly small penis, not overly small but under average. My girlfriend does really enjoy sex, but I have a low sex drive as well and struggle to get hard and when that's the case I just use my hands and toys on her if she's horny, and she works with me on that. You just need someone who is understanding and can accept compromises. My girlfriend has her own problems, she was abused from a young age and she says she doesn't know why I tolerate her. Well, that's part of our mutual understanding. We both work around our disabilities, quirks and flaws, and we accept each other for who we are. It was easier for us maybe because we met in a psychiatric hospital so we both knew the other person had problems before we even talked. You just need to find someone who for whatever reason, is understanding and non judgemental, and for whatever other reason, isn't bothered by your disability, if that's what it helps to call it :)

 

[antico]

i mean lets be honest though instead of coping, a woman would expect a normal man who can make love to her in a normal way, not only for the physical sensation but to feel closer .

sex is only a small part of it, there is so much more to love, you can always find a girl who's asexual, that is someone who would deeply emotionally love you, but have no interests in having sex

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

sex is only a small part of it, there is so much more to love, you can always find a girl who's asexual, that is someone who would deeply emotionally love you, but have no interests in having sex

im not asexual though.

Absolutely. I'd count it as a disability

thank you! it is a big disability in my life and no one can understand unless they live it. Its not even small , its putrid like legit unable to do anything, and im happy for you and your gf. I wish you two all the best.

 

[jodes2]

I just asked my girlfriend and she agrees, a lot of women just want companionship and won't care what size or shape your bits are down there! She actually knew another guy who had a micropenis and apparently he was also extremely insecure about it, and didn't ever have a chance to have sex because it didn't fit in anywhere. But apparently he was a lovely guy, had lots of different hobbies, and he was apparently pretty good with his hands my gf went out with him for 2-3 months but he actually broke up with her! He broke it off he said because he wasn't in the right place mentally for a relationship. He had a lot of problems, he was a Welsh guy. He really liked the fact that my gf didn't laugh at him or see his micropenis as a problem. She says she honestly didn't see it as a down side, because she really liked his personality, and she said she's always been more attracted to personality anyway. And I don't think my girlfriend is that unusual in this regard. There are plenty of decent women out there who just want a good man

 

[manocsak]

thanks so much for your kind enocuragment and advice, i appreciate the effort.
you really think i can find a woman who will be happy long term with a dickless man?

You can! I found many women in my life just don't give a damn about sexuality. So they won't care. My ex who were actually Asexual would be happier.

im not asexual though.

About this you just need to find the right women, there are specialized dating sites you can give that a try. Hope you can find a partner!

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

You can! I found many women in my life just don't give a damn about sexuality. So they won't care. My ex who were actually Asexual would be happier.


About this you just need to find the right women, there are specialized dating sites you can give that a try. Hope you can find a partner!

thank you for your kindness.

I just asked my girlfriend and she agrees, a lot of women just want companionship and won't care what size or shape your bits are down there! She actually knew another guy who had a micropenis and apparently he was also extremely insecure about it, and didn't ever have a chance to have sex because it didn't fit in anywhere. But apparently he was a lovely guy, had lots of different hobbies, and he was apparently pretty good with his hands my gf went out with him for 2-3 months but he actually broke up with her! He broke it off he said because he wasn't in the right place mentally for a relationship. He had a lot of problems, he was a Welsh guy. He really liked the fact that my gf didn't laugh at him or see his micropenis as a problem. She says she honestly didn't see it as a down side, because she really liked his personality, and she said she's always been more attracted to personality anyway. And I don't think my girlfriend is that unusual in this regard. There are plenty of decent women out there who just want a good man

ok are you just making this up about your gf and her ex lol.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

I have almost exactly the same issues. Fortunately, there are old train tracks nearby here with freight trains frequently passing by, so my method is decapitation. I wish I had a guillotine, however... Preferably a portable one; those are relatively easy to operate.

i understand your pain and of course relate to it.

 

[GasMonkey]

So you have a micropenis, no job, no money, and no method? Fuck, that's a tough situation.
Maybe you could become a welder *wink wink*.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly do understand that it's so awful feeling trapped in this hellish world. I really hate the fact that suicide is just so difficult for us, we all deserve the option of N and it disgusts me the lack of peaceful suicide options that are available for us. We shouldn't have to stay here a second longer than we wish to.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Have you started your course yet? Are you going ahead with it? I really hope so. I hope it can give you another focus in life. I really don't know what to say in order to reassure you without undermining how you feel. I've said it lots before but I feel sure penis size isn't something that would bother me. I feel like there MUST be other women out there like me. It's maybe more whether you would be attracted to them though... Still, I can't just ignore your own experience either with women. I'm sorry.

It's difficult really because I suffer from social anxiety. I feel embarassed about my weight and the way I look. How my voice sounds and how akward I am. It can be utterly crippling so that I pretty much panic when faced with social situations. I expect that sounds ridiculous to some people though. It's pretty difficult to get it across just how bad it can be if someone has never experienced it. So- I guess maybe I can relate- if it feels like that.

I hope you do find someone who loves you for you. Or, I hope you can get really into this new course- so that it distracts you. Is a relationship/marriage your main goal in life?

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

So you have a micropenis, no job, no money, and no method? Fuck, that's a tough situation.
Maybe you could become a welder *wink wink*.

too complicated for me, i may get a job as a stuntman who specializes in jumping off high buildings or does stunts in the ocean. Wink wink !

I certainly do understand that it's so awful feeling trapped in this hellish world. I really hate the fact that suicide is just so difficult for us, we all deserve the option of N and it disgusts me the lack of peaceful suicide options that are available for us. We shouldn't have to stay here a second longer than we wish to.

i love u.

Have you started your course yet? Are you going ahead with it? I really hope so. I hope it can give you another focus in life. I really don't know what to say in order to reassure you without undermining how you feel. I've said it lots before but I feel sure penis size isn't something that would bother me. I feel like there MUST be other women out there like me. It's maybe more whether you would be attracted to them though... Still, I can't just ignore your own experience either with women. I'm sorry.

It's difficult really because I suffer from social anxiety. I feel embarassed about my weight and the way I look. How my voice sounds and how akward I am. It can be utterly crippling so that I pretty much panic when faced with social situations. I expect that sounds ridiculous to some people though. It's pretty difficult to get it across just how bad it can be if someone has never experienced it. So- I guess maybe I can relate- if it feels like that.

I hope you do find someone who loves you for you. Or, I hope you can get really into this new course- so that it distracts you. Is a relationship/marriage your main goal in life?

yes i am doing it everyday ! thank u for remembering me. im sorry for your insecurities as well, i hope you can deal with them .