Venting Feeling stuck and lonely

[SkippingRope]

I want to start this thread with something really weird to say, but I'm an optimist. As much as my life tried to push me, pressure or make things bad, I always have the moment I get up and have hope for better future, wish to live happily. But... it doesn't happen. It got too bad, sometimes I have suicidal thoughts crossing my mind. Nothing really bad, just these thoughts of acceptance, that if I leave the world, nothing will happen, that it wouldn't be a big deal.

Here's a thing - I really want to experience life and I'm ready to recover, just don't know how. I'm feeling lonely, although I do have 2 'friends', but I feel stuck with them, like I haven't progressed in life. I can't fully express how I feel, tell what's wrong. If I end these friendships, I'll feel remorse about it.

Whenever I try to get better in something, I end up being discouraged and finding no will to continue. I want to feel like someone's behind my back supporting me in doing the next steps, not letting me give up. Right now, it's only me.

Almost all my online friendships weren't good. I was supporting them, saying great words, I was understanding, but what I got in return? Nothing.

A lot of times, I feel like giving up. Well, here I am. I don't want to cry at night anymore.

So there's my question: is anyone up to become online mates (or friends ). I know there are a lot of understanding people out there. I'm a teenager btw.

I don't know if I posted it in the right place

 

[SVEN]

Hi Skipping Rope, if you look for the Recovery Section on the drop down menu, you'll find others in similar positions to yourself on there. You may well get offers of support from members on this thread, however even if you don't Recovery will be a much more positive area to assist in your position.
Very best wishes as you travel on.

 

[SkippingRope]

Totally forgot about that section, thank you!