bananaolympus
Arcanist
- Dec 12, 2024
- 417
My femur plate just got fucked so im gonna need a new surgery schedule soon, and my tinnitus just got worse at least my ocd seems to be fine, moments like this i just look at my N bottle knowing i can end this anytime. Is really fucked up i don't hate life i really want to live but it feels like life is not compatible with me anymore every year it gets worse physical pain increase, my nerve damage is still there no recovery my tinnitus increases, my ocd doesn't get bad but my anxiety and depression is still there im just living for my folks there is absolutely nothing that brings me joy, really hope there is another life after this so i can enjoy what i couldn't in these one, who knows maybe im paying the karma for what i did in my past life who knows, most fucked up thing is that next year i would wish to be in the situation im rn cuz every year it gets worse, when i attempted my doc told me it was a miracle because i was inches away of dying, i think this is more a divine punishment my blood loss was so severe i almost lose my legs and an eye so i guess it could have been worse
