Feeling nothing

[Fadeawaaaay]

Looking forward to CTB. Feeling nothing. No pain. No sadness. Not really any sympathy for friends and family I'm leaving behind. I wonder if I am a sociopath. Maybe it's having taken 30 years of anti-depressants that has made me so numb. Does anybody feel the same way? Does anybody feel nothing at all?

 

[FuneralCry]

I do feel empty a lot of the time, like I have already died. I cannot cry anymore, I think it is because I cried so much years ago. However there is always an underlying feeling of dread and hopelessness at all times. Being alive is so horrible, I wish you the best, I hope you find peace.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I can't imagine going through this for years on end. For me it's only been about two or three months of this particular feeling. At some point I need to take action towards CTB. Right now I'm just treading water.