Venting feeling more alienated than ever before.

[Kokonoe]

this forum used to be nice for me because i felt like i could relate to most people on here and felt less alone in my suffering bc of that. but at this point i'm so far gone i can't even relate to other suicidal people. i feel like an outcast among outcasts. i'm truly worthless.
i'll probably just go back into complete isolation, even avoiding contact with others online through sites like these.

this forum used to be nice for me because i felt like i could relate to most people on here and felt less alone in my suffering bc of that. but at this point i'm so far gone i can't even relate to other suicidal people. i feel like an outcast among outcasts. i'm truly worthless.
i'll probably just go back into complete isolation, even avoiding contact with others online through sites like these.

on that topic, i really can't understand how some people are even here. the average quality of life of the people here now seems way too high. so many seem to have pretty normal and to be honest privileged lives. what about the people who have no friends, no family that cares about them, those who are completely unlovable, those who have no positive qualities, who have no way to leave their own home, who have no way to do anything, who have no way to get better at all. where are the people who are genuinely suffering and worthless supposed to go.

 

[korchoi]

I feel the same way. Hearing your story brings me comfort.

 

[Tyra]

Lucky for you there is a group of people who are outcasts among outcasts.

Though I don't know if there is a group for outcasts among 'outcasts among outcasts'.

 

[Grasp of darkness]

It's not about whose situation is the shittiest. You can have your life completely together and still get stuck in your own head wanting to end your life all day.

 

[Kokonoe]

It's not about whose situation is the shittiest. You can have your life completely together and still get stuck in your own head wanting to end your life all day.

and yet that life is still so incomprehensibly better than others. ofc it's not a competition, but my point is that people with lives like that can't comprehend how much worse others' lives could be, and could never begin to understand how much people like that are suffering.

like the person with a full social life, loving partner, loving family, but who still wants to ctb, is in absolutely no way comparable to the person who is truly 100% alone. that person with the good life could never even imagine what truly being alone is like.

 

[lucyisleavingus]

Fellow doll, cannot begin to explain how much I relate to this. I have no one and almost nothing left. If I had a gun I wouldn't be here writing this. I've thought a lot about this. Maybe the reason we have no one left to relate to even places like here is because when most reach this point they catch the next bus. I'm too scared of pain or making a mistake to use any other method so I'm left waiting for an opportunity. Hope you find some solace, if that's possible.

 

[Kokonoe]

Fellow doll, cannot begin to explain how much I relate to this. I have no one and almost nothing left. If I had a gun I wouldn't be here writing this. I've thought a lot about this. Maybe the reason we have no one left to relate to even places like here is because when most reach this point they catch the next bus. I'm too scared of pain or making a mistake to use any other method so I'm left waiting for an opportunity. Hope you find some solace, if that's possible.

i'm really glad someone else can relate, thank you. also i'm sorry you're also suffering in this way.
i have no one and nothing left, too. and i've tried so hard to fix that over the years but genuinely it feels like this is it, there's nothing more i can do.
if i had a reliable method i certainly wouldn't be here either.
unfortunately i think you're right that the people like us already ctb'd..i didn't think of that. that would make a lot of sense.
i've kinda just been stuck waiting for an opportunity, too. that, and also the strength needed for it.
i'm probably going to attempt to ctb again tonight to be honest, bc i feel so desperate at this point. but it's partially impulsive and i'm not super well prepared, so i don't expect much. that's assuming i have the willpower to even try.
i hope you can find some solace, too.

 

[lucyisleavingus]

i'm really glad someone else can relate, thank you. also i'm sorry you're also suffering in this way.
i have no one and nothing left, too. and i've tried so hard to fix that over the years but genuinely it feels like this is it, there's nothing more i can do.
if i had a reliable method i certainly wouldn't be here either.
unfortunately i think you're right that the people like us already ctb'd..i didn't think of that. that would make a lot of sense.
i've kinda just been stuck waiting for an opportunity, too. that, and also the strength needed for it.
i'm probably going to attempt to ctb again tonight to be honest, bc i feel so desperate at this point. but it's partially impulsive and i'm not super well prepared, so i don't expect much. that's assuming i have the willpower to even try.
i hope you can find some solace, too.

Please go over your research before hand. I can't imagine what this world is like for people like us who have failed an attempt in any capacity. I wish you peace if you choose to go through with it. If someone to talk to might help even for just a night feel free to msg me.