Discussion Feeling like you’re faking it.

[whosready4tmrw]

I don't know if this is a common occurrence, but does anyone else feel like they're faking it sometimes?

Like you go through the nights and the pain and the cutting and the thoughts or attempts, but since you've never actually managed to kill yourself, surely you're just faking right?

Call it imposter syndrome and whatever else, but it can't help but feel like my suffering is enough to be real. Like I'm in some competition at all times with people I don't even know, fighting for the validation that something is wrong with me.

 

[strawberry_lemons]

Fakers don't worry their faking and if truly subconsciously your faking you would definitely have some other severe mental illness, most people fake for sympathy, money, attention, hate, if you do it secretly and don't advertise it everytime you feel it when your alone thats proof your not faking

 

[LeGuitarist]

I feel like that too. What if I'm just faking my depression? What if I'm just overdramatic? If I really wanted to kill myself, I would just stab myself or jump off a building or something, right?

 

[Naz667]

I have this mental metaphor I use to describe myself. Every day feels like I'm walking up the sidewalk to the home of Death (in my head she is a hot goth woman like in Marvel comics. VERY IMPORTANT for the post /j), and every day I raise my fist to knock on the door. But something stops me, guilt, desire to live, whatever. And by the end of the day, i've been sitting down slumped against her door until the sun sets.

I know that if I truly desire it, I can simply knock on her door, but I haven't. Theres nothing fake about it.

 

[iamnotadinosaur:(]

I get that too, all the time and it SUCKS but you just need to remind yourself and convince the little cynic in the back of your mind that you are valid and that you can trust that you aren't faking

I have this mental metaphor I use to describe myself. Every day feels like I'm walking up the sidewalk to the home of Death (in my head she is a hot goth woman like in Marvel comics. VERY IMPORTANT for the post /j), and every day I raise my fist to knock on the door. But something stops me, guilt, desire to live, whatever. And by the end of the day, i've been sitting down slumped against her door until the sun sets.

I know that if I truly desire it, I can simply knock on her door, but I haven't. Theres nothing fake about it.

Also, that's a pretty good metaphor if I've ever heard one

 

[whosready4tmrw]

Fakers don't worry their faking and if truly subconsciously your faking you would definitely have some other severe mental illness, most people fake for sympathy, money, attention, hate, if you do it secretly and don't advertise it everytime you feel it when your alone thats proof your not faking

what it it manifests in different ways. Even if im not doing it publicly, I've heard of people who faked mental illnesses in their own mind to justify their problems or lack of character.

I feel like that too. What if I'm just faking my depression? What if I'm just overdramatic? If I really wanted to kill myself, I would just stab myself or jump off a building or something, right?

The inaction is the biggest part, and it's part of why I've never told anyone. I say I wanna ctb all the time, and yet I never actually go through with it. It's the overwhelming lack of action that hurts.

I have this mental metaphor I use to describe myself. Every day feels like I'm walking up the sidewalk to the home of Death (in my head she is a hot goth woman like in Marvel comics. VERY IMPORTANT for the post /j), and every day I raise my fist to knock on the door. But something stops me, guilt, desire to live, whatever. And by the end of the day, i've been sitting down slumped against her door until the sun sets.

I know that if I truly desire it, I can simply knock on her door, but I haven't. Theres nothing fake about it.

I like that a lot, I think it helps to materialize what a lot of us go through. I hope you find the courage to deal with the goth girl one day :)