Feeling like an inadequate player these days (Smash Ultimate Competitions)

[Water-Lily]

I took a loss pretty hard on Tuesday

I fought against a friend my first round (Winners)

Second game was last hit last stock

I had it, but fucked it up

With less than a minute on the clock and both of us at 116% damage, I used F smash and he blocked

He then upsmashed and killed me

He told me "that was good" but in that moment I felt demoralized

I didn't want his words

I just shook my head and said "it wasn't" and left

I still had my losers round but I chose to cry for 20 minutes while venting to 2 people

In my losers I tried to play through my tears but it was ggs

I went home immediately

I blacked out my twitter and I'm refraining from talking to anyone on twitter and discord

Anyone connected to the game I avoid

I'm a say it: I am (competitively) the worst pikachy in NYC

I don't care how many people (friends, etc) claim I am good

In comparison to all the pika's who actually succeed and beat people weekly, I am the lone Pikachu

I don't want to take up space. I don't deserve to take up space

I am unworthy showing up to competitions, being a failure

If someone approaches me, I want to run and snap and push them away

I don't even know if what I'm saying makes sense lol

I'm just going to keep my head low and not compete in the scene for a while

Failurechu