Venting feeling like an impostor

[ghostofapoet]

i hate the feeling where i'm doing something / feeling like shit and then i see it all from a bird's-eye view and i'm questioning the validity of how shitty i'm feeling. questioning whether or not what i'm going through is real. i try and comfort myself with the reality that i wouldn't put on a fucking show for myself, but then i'm stuck in this instant regression where i'm questioning if anything i say or feel or do is genuine, or an act - even this post right now - or acknowledging this feeling like i did, and it continues on and on, etc.
it's exhausting to not even trust myself.

 

[TeflonMummy]

I feel the same way all the time. It's made me feel like all the problems I have aren't really true and it's just myself holding me back. "Do I really have ADHD or am I just forgetful and lazy?"

"Am I really depressed or am I just not picking myself up on purpose so I can remain in self-loathing?"

"Is there really no way out of this or have I not explored enough options?"

It's so tiring and confusing. I will go and find myself and then believe that the person I see in the mirror isn't really me. So much wasted effort.

 

[ghostofapoet]

I feel the same way all the time. It's made me feel like all the problems I have aren't really true and it's just myself holding me back. "Do I really have ADHD or am I just forgetful and lazy?"

"Am I really depressed or am I just not picking myself up on purpose so I can remain in self-loathing?"

"Is there really no way out of this or have I not explored enough options?"

It's so tiring and confusing. I will go and find myself and then believe that the person I see in the mirror isn't really me. So much wasted effort.

honestly, this! and it's even worse when you have a family who doesn't believe in the idea of mental illness being a real issue - even though you know that what you're feeling is real, it doesn't stop their ideas from taking root inside your head and popping up when you're most vulnerable causing you to question your entire being.

like i'll be laying in bed until late afternoon not wanting to leave because i can't face people and then when i finally get up my brain will start chewing me out for not doing it sooner.

it's as you said, tiring and confusing. like, i'm already so alone, why can't i have my own back, you know? why do i have to make things harder for myself by being on my own case?

i think it could possibly be because people around me aren't understanding of how i feel and what i'm dealing with so i tend to question, whether or not anything i'm feeling is real. whether or not i'm the cause that i'm in the situation i am currently and that my depression and anxiety was all a lie. long story short, it fucking sucks.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

imposter syndrome is definitely tough to cope with. especially when, in my case at least, you're told your whole life that it's not as bad as you think or you're overreacting. its hard to tell when its true and when its just toxic positivity turning into self doubt. but i think something to remember that might be helpful is, those who actually pretend theyre mentally ill or overreact dont stop to think whether they are, they just do. so if youre questioning yourself, its highly likely that youre not an imposter and your feelings and problems are real. i hope that made sense. you're definitely not alone in feeling like an imposter.

 

[ghostofapoet]

imposter syndrome is definitely tough to cope with. especially when, in my case at least, you're told your whole life that it's not as bad as you think or you're overreacting. its hard to tell when its true and when its just toxic positivity turning into self doubt. but i think something to remember that might be helpful is, those who actually pretend theyre mentally ill or overreact dont stop to think whether they are, they just do. so if youre questioning yourself, its highly likely that youre not an imposter and your feelings and problems are real. i hope that made sense. you're definitely not alone in feeling like an imposter.

thank you for this msg. i definitely understand what you're trying to bring across. i'm sorry that you've had to experience that throughout your own life as well, it's truly awful.
i'll try and apply what you said to combat those thoughts when they get really aggressive or overwhelming

 

[AerialBoundaries]

It's a very difficult thing to cope with.

I get it a lot because I always feel that somebody out there has it worse, you know? I'm not homeless, hungry or physically ill. I feel like I should be more grateful at times.