Feeling light and relieved when suicide is planned

[bellinda]

Is it just me or does anyone else also get happy when they plan on killing themselves? It's like a relief to all your problems at once. Whenever I plan my suicide for it to happen that day, I become very happy, sociable, and excited. I have something to look forward to for once. Most people seem to get emotional or very reluctant in their final day. I never got that, I literally become really happy.
Posting this because planning on making today my last day. Feeling enthusiastic.

 

[MrDarkness]

I remember the day I attempted, I was so happy knowing that I'd be dying and I could leave my thoughts behind, I was crying from joy, I felt at peace

 

[smpkie]

I got that feeling when I tried to attempt, I was so calm. The thought of peace in that moment felt so relieving

 

[The anhedonic one]

The fact that I shall soon be putting myself out of my misery is the only joy I have left in my utterly miserable existence.

 

[lokabe82]

Yes I do. When I decided it was almost time, I sense of peace came over me.

 

[mlcs]

Same, only thing that can calm me is active ctb planning. When I accidentaly do or think about anything else I start to scream internally. Or when I feel like I'm backing up on suicide while my life can't be fixed I get pain in my chest. I don't fear of what comes after death and don't fear of missing anything, pain and SI are the problems, along with despair. I feel like I'm incapable of any method that's not brutal and require pain.

 

[90starve]

can i ask what your method is?

 

[Kikoo]

It definitely is a relief. The closer, the better it feels. It's still terrifying to me at the same time, though. I hope I'll be able to fight it.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me suicide certainly is self care as it's the way to take control over our inevitable fate, preventing all future unnecessary suffering in a futile existence where we are just waiting around to die anyway, I see suicide as being a positive thing as I see being unaware of everything as being completely ideal, nobody can be harmed by not existing after all.

But if I had a method as peaceful as Nembutal I would feel so relieved knowing I'm no longer trapped here and can peacefully escape from everything, death certainly is the only relief in such a dreadful world where there is unlimited potential to suffer endlessly, to die would solve what I see as being the true problem which is existence in itself.

 

[seaspray]

If i had access to a painless way,the relief would be undescribable
ITS tortous how hard it is to CTB and having to function and appear ok,whilst being consumed by the desire to exit .Feel like Im livung 2 lives and its exhausting.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm too exhausted to really feel sth about it although I'm ready to go ahead with my method at any time. It's ready, just need to do it but the usual stuff that that makes me hesitate.

 

[mlcs]

I'm too exhausted to really feel sth about it although I'm ready to go ahead with my method at any time. It's ready, just need to do it but the usual stuff that that makes me hesitate.

which method

 

[OceanBlue]

My brain is all over the place. It painted itself into a corner, I'm just observing its mess, mixed feelings.

Good luck with your plan.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

which method

CO method with charcoal

 

[delusionalgirl]

My time is about 9 days away. I'm anxious for it to be over but I'm also smiling a bit again knowing all this will be over soon.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm too exhausted to really feel sth about it although I'm ready to go ahead with my method at any time. It's ready, just need to do it but the usual stuff that that makes me hesitate.

I'll miss you when you go. But I wish you a peaceful and successful exit.

 

[jazzcat]

sort of, it's a relief to know that I'll be dead soon, my problems seem less relevant, but it makes me extremely anxious to potentially mess up (rope snapping, the anchor point not being strong enough etc.) and end up with brain damage

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'll miss you when you go. But I wish you a peaceful and successful exit.

Thanks!!! I doubt I will leave soon, still too much hope left and family and other things and ofc SaSu Forum

But just in case, I'm ready.

 

[bellinda]

can i ask what your method is?

Feeling a bit annoyed at myself, backed out because of someone and my friends telling me not to (wasn't planning on telling anyone but if I had died I would not want them to have gotten ghosted and feel ignored or that I hated them).
Blergh, was going to down a bottle of antifreeze.

Man this isn't fair, the first time I attempted, I didn't have anyone in my mind. Why does it have to be different this time. Ugh.

 

[90starve]

Feeling a bit annoyed at myself, backed out because of someone and my friends telling me not to (wasn't planning on telling anyone but if I had died I would not want them to have gotten ghosted and feel ignored or that I hated them).
Blergh, was going to down a bottle of antifreeze.

Man this isn't fair, the first time I attempted, I didn't have anyone in my mind. Why does it have to be different this time. Ugh.

im sorry you couldn't do it - but there's no reason to be annoyed at yourself <3 CTB is a very big decision, and if you're not ready to make it then that's okay - more opportunities will present themselves in the future.

wishing you the best <3

 

[bellinda]

im sorry you couldn't do it - but there's no reason to be annoyed at yourself <3 CTB is a very big decision, and if you're not ready to make it then that's okay - more opportunities will present themselves in the future.

wishing you the best <3

Thanks, that's relieving to read