T
theospawn
New Member
- Mar 19, 2022
- 2
I hate everything about myself, but for whatever reason there's like this invisible wall that won't let me ctb. I'm an incredibly weak person. It's like I was born to do nothing but cause grief for others. What bothers me the most about myself is that the only thing on this planet that I care about or love is my dog, yet often my actions say otherwise. It's wildly pathetic how insecure and anxious I am to the point where it affects him. Everyday I wake up I feel as if I have failed and he deserves someone much better than me, but I can't live without him. Often times my thoughts are consumed by feeling like my negativity at times has fractured the relationship between us, and the only thing that keeps me from trying to break through that invisible wall with all my might is the chance he has forgave me and still loves me. This massive cloud of darkness just hovers overtop of me and follows me almost anywhere I go, and it's exhausting. I just want to live a happy life with my dog man, I know life's not exactly fair, but I don't believe it's a lot to ask to not have to overthink every little thing that goes on around me.