Today I went to see a psychologist to get some medicine. I feel hopeful about the future. I even told her that I wnated to try esketamine and she even said that he had a dinner with drug reps about the drug and she said that if she will even talk to me more about the drug if she thinks she will use it. She even did a gene sight so we can see what drugs will work best with my DNA. It was a supper interesting and productive visit and I'm very excited for the future.
On the bad note. I have been slightly terrified of certain songs because I have associated them with some people and bad memories. Ive been slowly doing exposure therapy with the songs and I even got to jam out to them but sometimes the memories get stuck in my brain and very hard to clear out.
I have to pass the main city going to my appointments so that has also been stressful thinking about how I will never be able to step foot in the city because of thr memories ive had. I get so obsessive with the memories that I physically yell out loud asking the reminders to stop. It has been very frustrating trying to even do daily task.
Idk. I guess this post is sorta me wanting appraisal for all the progress I'm making and some reassurance that I'm not crazy due to the physical reactions of memories. Also maybe some advice. Idk. Thank you for taking time out of you day/night reading.
On the bad note. I have been slightly terrified of certain songs because I have associated them with some people and bad memories. Ive been slowly doing exposure therapy with the songs and I even got to jam out to them but sometimes the memories get stuck in my brain and very hard to clear out.
I have to pass the main city going to my appointments so that has also been stressful thinking about how I will never be able to step foot in the city because of thr memories ive had. I get so obsessive with the memories that I physically yell out loud asking the reminders to stop. It has been very frustrating trying to even do daily task.
Idk. I guess this post is sorta me wanting appraisal for all the progress I'm making and some reassurance that I'm not crazy due to the physical reactions of memories. Also maybe some advice. Idk. Thank you for taking time out of you day/night reading.
