Feeling guilty for my thoughts about other people who are struggling

[Sourdough]

I've been feeling really guilty about these feelings. Whenever I see someone I perceive as having a much better life than me complain or suggest they're suicidal, I feel like they're unjustified. I try to challenge these thoughts, but I don't know. My friend acts like it's the end of the world that they don't have a significant other, while I'm struggling to function due to cognitive decline. We live on different planets

 

[Life_and_Death]

in certain cases i totally agree. "depressed" has been thrown around so much its starting to lack meaning. "im depressed mommy didnt get me the brand new iphone even though i just got a brand new one last week" you.....you can shut up, fuck off and sit down

 

[Sourdough]

in certain cases i totally agree. "depressed" has been thrown around so much its starting to lack meaning. "im depressed mommy didnt get me the brand new iphone even though i just got a brand new one last week" you.....you can shut up, fuck off and sit down

Yes but in my heart I know that suffering is relative. Just because I may have it worse does not take away from the fact that they are suffering. That's why I feel guilty about it. But I can't change it the way I feel

 

[jodes2]

My brother told me he'd been suicidal but for reasons less than mine. I told him bullshit, all struggles are valid. If someone's suffering, they're suffering, end of.

 

[hellispink]

Sometimes it is very difficult to understand other people and what they view as the end of their own world. Their experiences and beliefs are shaped differently. They might have lived or experienced things very differently or lack capabilities/skills needed to think logically about their own lives. I have found myself angry at some stuff I have seen, it does not make me feel guilty. Even though all feelings are valid, one is responsible for accessing one's emotions and feelings and take accountability. When i hear them talk about the world ending for some stuff I just stay quiet cause I feel like I shouldn't invalide them but I won't support their cause either.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm probably worse than you because I'm getting to a stage where I don't feel like I can cope with people who likely do have worse lives than me ranting to me. I just find it becomes a competition with them- if I complain, it's usually met with the 'at least you' (have this or that). I've come to the conclusion it would be better if neither of us complain to one another!

I do feel hugely guilty over it, as I've never considered myself to be a 'fair weather friend' to others but I think it can get to a point where your own mental stability is too screwed to either help or cope with other people's problems on top of your own. Not on a regular basis anyway.

 

[obafgkm]

If one has a low tolerance of suffering isn't it a good thing? Certainly some might not live to proliferate. But some will. Society will also adjust to make living conditions more attractive. The high tolerance people will push society to become more harsh to their benefit until even they can't tolerate. Everyone is just a part of this grand optimisation.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Don't shame yourself for having these feelings. It's an understandable reaction and even if it weren't how you feel is how you feel. Feelings are as automatic as shivering when it's cold or sweating when it's hot. So it is unfair to berate yourself for having whatever emotional reaction. What matters is our actions. So while we may be entitled to feel that someonesy struggles are not as real, it would be wrong to be callous about it to them, for example. I suppose it is good to remember that people attach diffrrent levels of importance to things; for you not being in a relationship may seem minor but to others it could be devastating.

 

[RandomDude1234]

in certain cases i totally agree. "depressed" has been thrown around so much its starting to lack meaning. "im depressed mommy didnt get me the brand new iphone even though i just got a brand new one last week" you.....you can shut up, fuck off and sit down

Everyone's pain tolerance is difference. In the same way, everyone's depression tolerance is probably different too.

What we think are superficial problems, might actually be causing that person great anguish and pain.

Let's try not to judge other pains. I mean us being here kind proves that we already know what being in constant pain is like.

 

[FuneralCry]

People shouldn't have to be satisfied with their life circumstances and grateful just because others have it worse. Suffering is not a competition and people are entitled to complain about their lives no matter how minor the suffering is, because after all none of us asked for this life in the first place and I think that all suffering is unnecessary. We all experience life differently after all and the fact that others have it worse doesn't take away any of our misery. But life really is so unfair and I do think that it's understandable how people are envious of those with better lives. Some people are more luckier than others while many others are disadvantaged through no fault of their own.

 

[hamvil]

I've been feeling really guilty about these feelings. Whenever I see someone I perceive as having a much better life than me complain or suggest they're suicidal, I feel like they're unjustified. I try to challenge these thoughts, but I don't know. My friend acts like it's the end of the world that they don't have a significant other, while I'm struggling to function due to cognitive decline. We live on different planets

IMO there is nothing to be ashamed of. I had the same feelings several times since I joined this forum. I never reacted to them partially out of respect and partially because everybody has his/her right to be on this forum. For some people could be an opportunity to vent or to cope with the situation. For other the possibility to share feelings without judgment. I also suspect that many young people are aware that the pain they are feeling is part of the age. There are many opportunities for change as well in front of them.

I am not saying that only older people deserve CTB. Also where to put the threshold? Anything you chose would be an arbitrary decision. On the contrary anybody of legal age should be allowed to get assisted suicide even if he/she is not terminal. Peace.

 

[Worndown]

I've been feeling really guilty about these feelings. Whenever I see someone I perceive as having a much better life than me complain or suggest they're suicidal, I feel like they're unjustified. I try to challenge these thoughts, but I don't know. My friend acts like it's the end of the world that they don't have a significant other, while I'm struggling to function due to cognitive decline. We live on different planets

Everyone has different abilities to cope with whatever life hands them. Some carry on terribly for what appear to be very superficial reasons. Some carry the burdens of the world and say nothing.
All you can do is be who you are and let them be who they are. Taking them seriously not required.

 

[Unlucked]

I've been feeling really guilty about these feelings. Whenever I see someone I perceive as having a much better life than me complain or suggest they're suicidal, I feel like they're unjustified. I try to challenge these thoughts, but I don't know. My friend acts like it's the end of the world that they don't have a significant other, while I'm struggling to function due to cognitive decline. We live on different planets

Ive had the same feelings before. Sometimes it's hard to tell if people are being overly dramatic or if they are actually genuinely suicidal.

But then again, there have been people who have taken their lives / and others in the past due to not being able to have a s.o.

A big example is the Elliot rodgers guy who killed a bunch of women and then himself because he wanted a girlfriend/felt he couldn't get one/felt unattractive. So do with that what you will.

I've noticed alot of those types join recently, saying they are suicidal because they can't get sex/a gf. It kind of boggles me personally but at the end of the day I can't judge.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Everyone's pain tolerance is difference. In the same way, everyone's depression tolerance is probably different too.

What we think are superficial problems, might actually be causing that person great anguish and pain.

Let's try not to judge other pains. I mean us being here kind proves that we already know what being in constant pain is like.

just as expect

 

[Hope:-)]

Truthfully, I feel that way when someone says ' I have a friend...' I'd do anything to have a friend.