Trigger warning:
So maybe tmi, but I've been struggling with feeling broken and unlovable due to my reaction to some s--ual trauma. Not to get too much into it but one of the many symptoms is being completely unable to give head. I get sick to my stomach and feel completely violated. My partner says he needs them but understands and won't push, but when we get into an argument about anything it comes up. I tried for years to find work arounds and ways to tolerate it but I just can't. Now I feel completely unlovable and like I'm damaged in this way that no guy will ever want to stay with me long term. I don't understand why I'm not worth giving up this one thing. I do everything else he wants. I've been thinking about ctb. I know people will say I could just find someone else but this has been a problem with almost every man I've tried to date. And the thought of trying to go back to trying to survive in this world alone on one income with no help or affection makes my already exhausted soul feel so hopeless. Thanks for listening.
So maybe tmi, but I've been struggling with feeling broken and unlovable due to my reaction to some s--ual trauma. Not to get too much into it but one of the many symptoms is being completely unable to give head. I get sick to my stomach and feel completely violated. My partner says he needs them but understands and won't push, but when we get into an argument about anything it comes up. I tried for years to find work arounds and ways to tolerate it but I just can't. Now I feel completely unlovable and like I'm damaged in this way that no guy will ever want to stay with me long term. I don't understand why I'm not worth giving up this one thing. I do everything else he wants. I've been thinking about ctb. I know people will say I could just find someone else but this has been a problem with almost every man I've tried to date. And the thought of trying to go back to trying to survive in this world alone on one income with no help or affection makes my already exhausted soul feel so hopeless. Thanks for listening.
