Venting Feeling a dead end on methods

[TBONTB]

I'm feeling pretty desperate. I want to CTB because at 62 I can see my economics about to collapse. It's shit scary.

I started here with an optimistic idea I could CTB. Hard on my husband but with just one person needing the money and for a shorter period, it seemed like it would work

I've finally decided I'm just not getting SN in the US. Bummer

I considered GSW but I would have to acquire and learn how to use a gun. The death, if successful, would be so violent it would be hard on all. And it seems like there is a real chance of bungling it, leading to permanent disability.

That really leaves hanging, and my difficulty remains an anchor point. And of course, SI. I have a detached garage with some ceiling joists, but they are just 2x8s and they make me nervous. Last thing I need to do is break one more thing on this house. I looked at a park for trees and didn't scout any that looked awesome...to high, to big, too low. Someone gave me a tip about using the trunk. So that might be something I could explore

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I just wish to be gone as well and I always suffer so much from how I cannot just have the option to peacefully cease existing and never suffer again, all I wish for is painless, guaranteed death, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.