Feel like I need to Punish myself

[asgoodasdead]

Every failed attempt, rope done poorly, being an absolute asshole to my partner, etc… I feel like I need to punish myself not only for my actions, but so I can actually go through with it.

My mind is so damn dense and slow I fucking hate it. I have had my rope and anchor point for months and I'm still alive. I just need a little under 2 hours and it'll be good.

My alternatives of punishments are trying to give myself rope burn on my hands, starving/dehydrating, etc. It all sucks and I deserve it.

 

[chillino]

Na you dont deserve it. And if you want to make your partner slightly happier you should take care of yourself.

 

[asgoodasdead]

Na you dont deserve it. And if you want to make your partner slightly happier you should take care of yourself.

I really needed to hear that thank you…