kitkatt
Possumpwincess
- Feb 17, 2026
- 36
I've decided last year I'd kill my self this year around the holidays. Why chose the holidays? Because I'm an antihero and I want everyone who's been affected effected by me so be sad for me when I am. I just want them to miss me even when everyone is around and important and I don't know how to make it to where anyone could ever love me enough to question to stay. The last time I tried therapy my therapist my shook he looked uncomfortable he he'd like look that I'd call the cops if if we're able if you'd tell me enough but I won't because I've been protected since birth and those same thorns now strangle me because I've wished for cancer I've waited to not wake up every night and I will Not fail myself like so many others have I will not leave my self here hurting. I've the heart of a poet the will of a fool but I am tired of wishing upon a star. I will fall this year with all that I am. I am a star I burn brightly and it is not my fault no one could ever hold me. I won't say how I'll end it because I'd never want my hurt for anyone. I finally feel vulnerable and safe somewhere and better yet understood. I wish I could take away all the wrong from the world all the hurt I never believed in god how the fuck could someone with power allow all this hurt. I wished so long I could give my life to someone who deserved a better one but I can't so I will live and end my life for myself. I'll die on my terms. By my hands. I've smoked for years I've been reckless I've gambled with myself my body. I'm no longer to be reckless I'll be calculated in my pursuit towards the end I'll no longer quell my flame for death. In almost 30 years no one has chosen me like I have chosen death. So I only hope deaths their waiting to embrace me like I have them. I don't believe in gods I believe we're all a selfish and cruel accident but if I am wrong let me Lucy and I'll bare my punishment in death because I can't keep dulling myself. I can't lie and say one more year.
