Fed up again

[darkenmydoorstep]

Just so fed up.

Another Saturday night doing the same thing.

Sat in a room alone whilst the guy I live with gets off his face wrecked again and the guy I've loved 3 years but never met (internet) on and off ignores me cause of his BPD/attachment issues.

I feel like I'm in the middle of a shit book that drags on and on and I'm not even the main character. Just some minor player. What a fucking existence.

And when I read some of your stories on here, my woes just sound pathetic. Which makes me feel even more pathetic.

 

[lack]

your woes are valid. man, .. suffering is suffering. pain is relative. and your pain is just as real as anyone else's, even if it it feels frivolous in comparison. i dont think it actually helps to compare pain and suffering, but i understand the urge to do so. (*editing to remind you that i mean this in the most loving way possible, not to minimize your feelings !!)
however, your pain is still painful and effects you. and im sorry to hear it. it sounds to me like not only are you experincing your own struggles, but you're minimizing them by comparing. but trust me, i know. being sad is hard. feeling frustrated and helpless more often than not, .. it gets to you. i believe you're in a bad spot. and all i can really do is offer my condolences, my understading as best im able. to let you know; hey. i see you in this instance.
people unwilling to put the work in that's required for a healthy happy relationship, argh! im sorry youre living with someone who's hard to live with. and that you're feeling neglected by the person you love. that's certainly enough to make you feel like shit, and that suuuuucks. i wish i could say soemthign more helpful than this, but all i've got to say is that your pain is real and i see it and it's not easy to deal with. i commend you for putting up with it, though i know the purpose of you expressing anythign was that you feel unable to deal with it. you've got this forum, if nothing else. and you can come here when you feel like you've had enough of the rest of it.
thank you for posting your frustrations, as at least it helps me realize my pain is also not nothing. that it's all relative. that it hurts to feel ignored., .. and i won't ignore you.
i'm sorry.
i hope we'll find ways to heal eventually, however that may be and look to others.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

your woes are valid. man, .. suffering is suffering. pain is relative. and your pain is just as real as anyone else's, even if it it feels frivolous in comparison. i dont think it actually helps to compare pain and suffering, but i understand the urge to do so. (*editing to remind you that i mean this in the most loving way possible, not to minimize your feelings !!)
however, your pain is still painful and effects you. and im sorry to hear it. it sounds to me like not only are you experincing your own struggles, but you're minimizing them by comparing. but trust me, i know. being sad is hard. feeling frustrated and helpless more often than not, .. it gets to you. i believe you're in a bad spot. and all i can really do is offer my condolences, my understading as best im able. to let you know; hey. i see you in this instance.
people unwilling to put the work in that's required for a healthy happy relationship, argh! im sorry youre living with someone who's hard to live with. and that you're feeling neglected by the person you love. that's certainly enough to make you feel like shit, and that suuuuucks. i wish i could say soemthign more helpful than this, but all i've got to say is that your pain is real and i see it and it's not easy to deal with. i commend you for putting up with it, though i know the purpose of you expressing anythign was that you feel unable to deal with it. you've got this forum, if nothing else. and you can come here when you feel like you've had enough of the rest of it.
thank you for posting your frustrations, as at least it helps me realize my pain is also not nothing. that it's all relative. that it hurts to feel ignored., .. and i won't ignore you.
i'm sorry.
i hope we'll find ways to heal eventually, however that may be and look to others.

Thanks for responding.

My son just came downstairs and spat in my food as I was eating anyway so that made me feel slightly more 'justified' in feeling like shit at least anyway.

 

[lack]

Thanks for responding.

My son just came downstairs and spat in my food as I was eating anyway so that made me feel slightly more 'justified' in feeling like shit at least anyway.

ohhh aw noooooooooooooooooo, that sounds beyond unpleasant.
please know you're absolutely more than justified to feel like shit, even without that, but yes; especially so in that case.
especially if that's even just a possibility. good gracious!
i hope that youll have a moment of relief in some way, however possible, from your discomfort and disappointment.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Thank you . It all just gets to me sometimes. It's all dragging on so long.