Discussion Fear of Failure

[Lish]

Is anyone else extremely anal about their ctb process and method?

I'm absolutely terrified at failing an attempt. When I mean failing, I mean waking up in a hospital with no feeling below the neck or being constantly watched for the rest of your life. Or even being forced to live without any chance to ctb again.

I really feel like I just have one chance to do this and I want everything to be perfect. The SI doesn't help at all. Is anyone else like this?

 

[max_vader2]

I'm having so much trouble thinking I'm a method, and it's exactly for the reason you mentioned.

What method is 100% effective? With zero chance of becoming a burden to my family? And it's not something brutal or violent?

 

[EgoBrained]

I have spent many hours daydreaming on how I should carry it out, making sure that everything lines up correctly in the timeline I have mapped out, and accounting for anything that might go wrong, not only on the attempt itself, but also reducing the aftermath as much as possible. There are still so many variations that I have yet to analyze.

For me, failure is not an option, and will be betting on that being the case.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I also fear the same, I fear ending up in a situation of way worse torture and agony, personally I find it so horrifying how there is no limit as to how much a human can suffer in this existence I always saw as so cruel and torturous, all I wish for is non-existence, all I hope for is to never suffer ever again. It just feels so horrible to me how I'm trapped in this existence that just brought me pain, to me there's so much cruelty in how I cannot just have the option to simply die in peace to escape from all the suffering especially as death is all I wish for, I'd never wish to exist, the thought of suffering until old age in this existence I never would have wished for is so terrifying to me.