Farewell Y'all

[Life_and_Death]

I am not pressuring her into it, she wants to die with me but I want to go immediately as where she wants to wait out for some heavenly death option.

She insisted and got emotional about me doing this on my own and told me I was breaking a promise which I never made. So as a result I am still alive and suffering with so many issues that I dont even care to explain right now.

SHE WANTED THIS! NOT ME!

And because she is the primary reason that I didnt do it I made the rules for it with her agreement of full cooperation.

i think @Emily_Numb is talking about this part specifically

I made an agreement with my wife to die with her but that it requires her full cooperation and that she must be ready to do it my way, I will be the brains of the operation and she will be an assisting instrument here for us in Germany to help fulfill our goal of dying a peaceful death together.
If she fails to fulfill her end, I will completely divorce myself from her and her situation. I will help her no further and I will end my life on my terms and my timing.

and yeah it comes off as really abusive and toxic. youre basically saying if you dont kill yourself im going to get a divorce. please think things through before you say or do anything, i would hate to be your wife in this situation.

 

[Zhontafly]

i think @Emily_Numb is talking about this part specifically

and yeah it comes off as really abusive and toxic. youre basically saying if you dont kill yourself im going to get a divorce. please think things through before you say or do anything, i would hate to be your wife in this situation.

No that's not what I am saying.I made it clear that she wants to die with me and we planned this out together with Dignitas DE. I did NOT say that she HAS to die with me and that I am taking choice away from her else I will divorce her. Thats mind numbing irritating me that you even suggest it! The situation with Dignitas is this, they, because of Swiss and German law can hold back our assisted suicide as long as they choose and for whatever reason they claim with the excuse of us not being mentally competent to make that decision for ourselves. We both were disappointed with this news. We were under the impression that they were in business to help people end their suffering and give them a peaceful and dignified death. I stated in the post that I dont know if I would be able to hold out and wait on them to approve us.

To break it down further... I personally am ready to die right now, but she is not and is trying to hold me back from ending my life of suffering on my own at this time. That's HER trying to take away MY choice! Not the opposite! The abuse is actually coming from her side. Though I am agreeing to not kill myself right now cause , guess what? I actually care about her! So I have decided to go on suffering with all my issues to appease her and my family.

Also, I didnt say I would divorce her, to divorce yourself FROM something means that you will let go of an obligation to it. I think I made that really clear too cause I said that i would divorce myself FROM her and FROM her situation (to seperate myself from). I didnt say I would actually legally divorce her.I suppose I couldve said it in another way , My mistake! Judge me and sue me! To say it another way, I would relieve myself of all obligations to her and her situation. We would remain married, not that it matters cause when I am dead that ends the marriage now, Doesnt it?

Finallly to understand is that the shared goal is that we die together (cause i am nice and she wants to) but if she holds us back from that shared goal all cooperation from me is also off (thats what i mean by divorce from). I also specfically said that and that I need her full cooperation.

 

[Emily_Numb]

You sound truly demented.
I'm no longer giving this post the time of day. Pretty sure you're a troll at this point. This can't be real.

 

[Zhontafly]

You sound truly demented.
I'm no longer giving this post the time of day. Pretty sure you're a troll at this point. This can't be real.

OK? And I really dont get your self righteous trip. Bye Bye

 

[Life_and_Death]

No that's not what I am saying.I made it clear that she wants to die with me and we planned this out together with Dignitas DE. I did NOT say that she HAS to die with me and that I am taking choice away from her else I will divorce her. Thats mind numbing irritating me that you even suggest it! The situation with Dignitas is this, they, because of Swiss and German law can hold back our assisted suicide as long as they choose and for whatever reason they claim with the excuse of us not being mentally competent to make that decision for ourselves. We both were disappointed with this news. We were under the impression that they were in business to help people end their suffering and give them a peaceful and dignified death. I stated in the post that I dont know if I would be able to hold out and wait on them to approve us.

To break it down further... I personally am ready to die right now, but she is not and is trying to hold me back from ending my life of suffering on my own at this time. That's HER trying to take away MY choice! Not the opposite! The abuse is actually coming from her side. Though I am agreeing to not kill myself right now cause , guess what? I actually care about her! So I have decided to go on suffering with all my issues to appease her and my family.

Also, I didnt say I would divorce her, to divorce yourself FROM something means that you will let go of an obligation to it. I think I made that really clear too cause I said that i would divorce myself FROM her and FROM her situation (to seperate myself from). I didnt say I would actually legally divorce her.I suppose I couldve said it in another way , My mistake! Judge me and sue me! To say it another way, I would relieve myself of all obligations to her and her situation. We would remain married, not that it matters cause when I am dead that ends the marriage now, Doesnt it?

Finallly to understand is that the shared goal is that we die together (cause i am nice and she wants to) but if she holds us back from that shared goal all cooperation from me is also off (thats what i mean by divorce from). I also specfically said that and that I need her full cooperation.

i think i understand however 1) chill, "mind numbingly irritating that i would suggest it" i said "this is what it comes off as...." and "youre basically saying..." i didnt suggest anything just showed you the way its being viewed 2) (if youre gonna be a little more chill with me please 1) just in general because i didnt do anything except show you how what you said was viewed and 2) because im sick and not gonna deal with bs) now then, i understand that it is a shared goal but you are making it sound like she doesnt have much of a choice. can you explain how you can get a divorce from her without divorcing her? it still sounds like youre going to break up with her just without the paperwork.

 

[yive]

As for my parents, I will attempt to reprogram them of the idiotic prolife monotony they are hammered with in all the forms of media, and societal norms that their minds are oppressed with. I will also attempt to mature their emotional feedback and bring it down to sane levels. I am dealing with 3 people who dont know how to let go and let be. They need to finally understand that a life of suffering and pain is not a life worth living for me. They also need to accept that I am not made for this world. I fucking despise this place! They need to respect it, accept reality, let go, and be happy for me for loosing myself from this terrible dictator soul cage body of mine and this violent disease ridden nightmarish world of sick delusional OCD maniacal shit they brought me into. They just don't seem to understand that love is not enough and that I will never truly be free or at peace so long as I am alive and suffering like this.

you're right! my respect to you

 

[grungeCat]

I'm sorry you're in such pain. I wish you safe travel and eternal peace.