Fantasizing about a method you'll never use?

[AnnonyBox]

Am I alone in fantasizing about a method I'll never use? I know for my sake I want a more peaceful method, but still, I fantasize about violent methods. Maybe I just want to give this body some payback when I go, I don't know.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've often looked at many everyday objects and wondered what it'd be like to use them to CTB. It can be fun to entertain the idea but like you I'll probably pick a peaceful method if and or when I do decide to go.

 

[PrettyMoose]

Yeah, I've imagined myself jumping from very high places even though I'm scared of heights. The attraction of it is knowing that all it takes is that initial jump and then it is settled, unlike partial hanging where I tighten a noose around my neck and still don't pass out/die and come out frustrated.

I doubt I'd be a jumper though. I'll just keep trying partial until I get it right.

 

[I’mDone]

I did a lot of rock climbing and mountaineering when I was younger. I still fantasise about climbing somewhere high and jumping. I could even make it look like an accident. I won't though. SI is too strong...

 

[Bct]

Like you, I'm going to do a peaceful method like SN, yet sometimes still fantasizing about shooting or slitting myself, or even let me & my bike crash into a car or bus.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Maybe I just want to give this body some payback when I go

This definitely resonates with me, I got a throat problem that has ruined my life it force me to exclude myself so I don´t have any friends anymore, can´t work, bodybuild etc. sometimes I have gotten so angry that I have held a knife to my throat just wanting to destroy that throat that has caused me so much suffering.

I have also been fantasizing about if I had a shotgun to myself in the throat because I hate it so much, obviously I would never do this things because it would be extemely painfull.

 

[Yomyom]

I thought a lot about Helium, seems really peaceful and quick, I ended up giving up the method because purity is no longer good, plus I need a lot more courage to take my first breath than drink nembutal or other pills (much easier mentally)

 

[Matthias_k]

Exsanguination. I've always fantasized to die that way, just slowly bleed to death. Nothing violent though, just cut a vein or an artery and let it go.

 

[Whited Sepulchre]

Thought so long and hard about starving myself to death.
Thought it would be easy since I was already kinda starving myself to a degree.
Still dream about it every so often.

 

[Acornsonatree]

I often dream about jumping from high places, I don't think I'd ever be able to do it though because SI and I'm scared of heights.

 

[FireFox]

My method i will never use but fantasise is getting involved in a sucide pact with a man . He and I would setting up a tent in the woods and inhale a poisonus gas.
Before we do we kill ourselves we will go out for a drink like a date. Then we will end our lives late in the evening
Writing about this has even turned me on.

 

[AcornUnderground]

My method i will never use but fantasise is getting involved in a sucide pact with a man . He and I would setting up a tent in the woods and inhale a poisonus gas.
Before we do we kill ourselves we will go out for a drink like a date. Then we will end our lives late in the evening
Writing about this has even turned me on.

@FireFox I still think that you should hit the dating sites hard! You can start dating and I really think you might not want to ctb so bad. It can take some time. Believe me, I lived in the city for over a decade single with women friends 20-40 and know all the dating woes, every way shape and color. It'll happen!!!

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

I've held a knife up to my throat a couple of times. I've also thought about jumping but know I would never do either of them

Maybe I just want to give this body some payback when I go, I don't know

I feel like this too. I have a lot of self hatred especially for my body. Why I SH, to destroy it bit by bit

 

[BPDbitch]

I think I've probably fantasised about every method out there lol. One I love the thought of is jumping from a high building but I don't want anyone to have to see me splattered on the pavement, so in practice I'd jump over water. I also fantasise about train suicide a lot but would never choose that method.

 

[SleeplessSoul]

I've often fantasised about jumping off a building. Whenever I'm waiting for a train or a tube I get a really strong impulse to jump. My dad is a bus driver and he almost hit someone once and seeing how badly it hit him I wouldn't do it no matter how desperate I was.

 

[BeeLoyal]

I am imagining ctbing with a gun, and I'd choose this method 100% if I could, but I live in central Europe so a sad nope from me.

 

[faust]

1) Guillotine. My room is 6 sq. meters so there would not be any space for such a miracle of engineering. Plus it would be heavy and I would not be able to bring it to a hotel lol. It would be easier to bring a huge cross in hotel rather than a guillotine.
2) Compressed gases. Well, my neighbors would be at least surprised to see a gas tank delivery at doorstep. Even harder it would be to explain why I bought a tank. For party balloons during lockdown?
3) Hanging. There is nowhere to hang there, walls will collapse - they are made from plasterboard. Only somewhere in Wicklow Mountains but that is a long walk. And it does not look too peaceful for me. Never hiked with a rope before.
4) Gunshot. Guns are illegal here and I would not be able to purchase any neither here nor in my home country.
5) Shallow waters. I nearly drowned this way once unexpectedly, can be hard to die from first attempt.
6) Raw drowning. Would never try to drown without getting blacked out on drugs and being barely able to understand what is going on.
7) Trains, buses or any other public transport. Ethical issues. Trains cannot move to a car wash, so all the mess will be cleaned by regular people. And "catch the bus" does not have a direct meaning.
8) Tree, car and a rope around neck. No car - no decapitation. Only a long drop possible. The scariest thing - to be fined with a rope on neck for not having a driving license and insurance.
9) Bleach, detergent or any other household chemicals. Tastes not like a pizza with ham and pineapples. And perhaps a huge discomfort in stomach
10) Polonium-210. Impossible to find. Weeks of agony and radioactive shit. Rest in peace all neighbors.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Hanging, it's my fantasy suicide. In reality it will be SN, but hanging has always fascinated me.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I imagined stabbing myself in the neck and even had urges to do this.
It's the only method I have access to right now.
I imagined full hanging often, it's not my preferred method but... If I won't have other means it is a possibility I guess.
Shooting, jumping - imagined those too.
:(

 

[Freudite]

I fantasize about self-mutilation a lot. Like cutting off my hands, legs, etc and just bleed to death. Sometimes it's shooting myself on the head, it seems cool, though I don't like the idea of my brain matter splattering everywhere. Waterboarding is another one that would be cool.

 

[Deleted member 10475]

I dream a lot about jumping from a building/ bridge or if I'm waiting for the train, I'll visualize myself jumping in front of it.

I would never do either because a) I'm terrified of heights and b) I would never want to traumatize anyone else. I've some more violent ones but I guess that's because of the way I view myself. Realistically, I just want to go out peacefully.

 

[WinterFaust]

Drowning. Someone actually made a thread about Virginia Woolf, my original inspiration for this fantasy. Something about just disappearing into a river is appealing to me. In reality, it would be a harrowing experience so SN it is.

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

When I'm angry I have this urge to stab myself on the chest until I'm dead. And I keep imagining how it would be like. Would hurt like hell, of that I'm sure.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

I used to play the "Postal" video game. There was an option to commit suicide there, if you were captured by the enemies or fell into an inescapable pit. The player's character pulls out a hand grenade out of his inventory bag, holds it in his teeth, and yanks out the ring. The screen fades to black at that point, but use your imagination.

That's a really BAD-ASS way to CTB. Of course, it renders an open-casket funeral a non-option, but I don't really care.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Until I found this site, I always belived cutting wrists was easy, was brought up to believe you cut sit down and just fall asleep whilst you bleed out, oh if only it was true and that simple

 

[GoBack]

A river or the sea. In fantasy it be easy, lotsa alcohol and just disappear. Reality is way more painful though

 

[Outsider]

Gunshot to the head and explosion - instant death. Drowning is most appealing though. Letting the water take you, relaxing completely. Just a fantasy.

 

[Pryras]

CTB by car accident. I've been through TWO that completely totalled my car but did nothing to me. The next accident I'm in better be fatal

 

[Jkjigs]

Jumping from a high rise. Once you commit there is no turning back. But it's the committing that's the hard point

 

[Arrow]

i mean i've got a really big sharp knife in my room, just in case someone breaks into my house so i can defend myself, and i guess i've thought about it. it could reach someone's heart without even going all the way in, the thing is a monster.