Venting Fantasising about hurting myself.

[flightlessbutterfly]

I've always passively wanted to harm myself, whether it's pinching or biting or whatever. But some days, I have very vivid fantasies of unscrewing the blade from a new pencil un-duller and to use it on my own skin. There are even days where my mind and heart wants to do it so bad that I unscrew the un-duller, but my fears always stop me. Fear that someone would find out, would question me, would lead to hospitalising me and having this be spread around my community.

So I don't. But ignorance apparently makes this urge worse and worse.

I just know that it would be so satisfying to do so, but I hold myself back and make these thoughts worsen. It's not fair.