I have an extreme chronic pain condition that was caused by a quack surgeon 4 years ago.
It's not fixable and it's made my life into just solitary existence with just chores, tv & Internet.
No supportive family or friends. Every day I see a new story about people losing their prescribed pain meds. My pain meds barely take the edge off but at least it's something. Anxiety meds keep my panic barely in control.
I have a vulnerable adult family member. I recently got over the survival instinct, my affairs & belongings are in order, I have N, ready for the taste; I have a flavoring agent, and was ready to leave home to go do it.
My family member has a way of sensing things & started talking to me about my situation (we don't usually talk about my chronic pain) & got me emotional. We had a big emotional talk/fight. I broke down, the family member is upset & now I'm way too exhausted to go through with it.
The same exact thing happened last summer. (I picked summer as the best time of year for grieving). I still can't believe I let this happen again.
A quack surgeon can inflict horrible unnatural pain but society has no understanding for wanting to stop the pain. And now guilt. This is my only way out & it's a huge setback for me.
It's not fixable and it's made my life into just solitary existence with just chores, tv & Internet.
No supportive family or friends. Every day I see a new story about people losing their prescribed pain meds. My pain meds barely take the edge off but at least it's something. Anxiety meds keep my panic barely in control.
I have a vulnerable adult family member. I recently got over the survival instinct, my affairs & belongings are in order, I have N, ready for the taste; I have a flavoring agent, and was ready to leave home to go do it.
My family member has a way of sensing things & started talking to me about my situation (we don't usually talk about my chronic pain) & got me emotional. We had a big emotional talk/fight. I broke down, the family member is upset & now I'm way too exhausted to go through with it.
The same exact thing happened last summer. (I picked summer as the best time of year for grieving). I still can't believe I let this happen again.
A quack surgeon can inflict horrible unnatural pain but society has no understanding for wanting to stop the pain. And now guilt. This is my only way out & it's a huge setback for me.
