Failure

[eternalbliss22]

Failure at life & failure at death. I've had 2 failed attempts & several planned that never got attempted. I know it will happen. I'm alone with no social or family. I've been ran off of my last two jobs & current one is a hostile environment for me. When i took the job I didn't realize the connection of it with the 2 I was ran off from. They do contracted work for them. There's also a guy with a truck that looks like one involved in an auto insurance fraud accident I was a victim of. I can't trust anyone, my phone is being accessed remotely. Chrome is showing history I did not do & on pages I did not go to. I'm not allowed to work here & I can't afford moving. My only option is suicide. It's going to be a spur of the moment like my last attempt. Instead of a partial hanging, it's a plunge into a major river. I don't care what happens to my body, just as long as I'm the only death. The only other thing is my cats going to a no kill shelter. Everything else doesn't matter.

Failure at life & failure at death. I've had 2 failed attempts & several planned that never got attempted. I know it will happen. I'm alone with no social or family. I've been ran off of my last two jobs & current one is a hostile environment for me. When i took the job I didn't realize the connection of it with the 2 I was ran off from. They do contracted work for them. There's also a guy with a truck that looks like one involved in an auto insurance fraud accident I was a victim of. I can't trust anyone, my phone is being accessed remotely. Chrome is showing history I did not do & on pages I did not go to. I'm not allowed to work here & I can't afford moving. My only option is suicide. It's going to be a spur of the moment like my last attempt. Instead of a partial hanging, it's a plunge into a major river. I don't care what happens to my body, just as long as I'm the only death. The only other thing is my cats going to a no kill shelter. Everything else doesn't matter.

I can't even get mail here, the lady refuses to shut my box so mail is soaked & useless. Just another reason to die. I'm tired of the emotional railcoaster between despair & anger over so many able & allowed to do whatever they want to me without any consequence. Law enforcement knows & does nothing, they've even laughed about it. Jesus freaks keep sending their filth even after being ask politely not to. Death is my only option. Even while making this post, my phone keeps jumping to a different page. There's no hope, no reason to live. All I do anymore is work & play video games & I can't even do that without harassment.

 

[Sulyya]

Why does reality seem to conspire against each of us individually? From the largest catastrophes to the tiniest pinpricks.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a really horrific and unbearable situation to be in, it just shows that this world really is a hellish place. I certainly think that it's true that humans are responsible for so much of the torment that exists here in this world, but anyway I hope that you find the freedom that you are searching for as it really sounds like you've suffered a lot. I hate how actually leaving this world is something that is so unnecessarily difficult and can go wrong, it certainly should be easier for us.