Failure To Understand

[goodoldnoname923]

I remember years back thinking i wish mental health studies would be better so people like me didn't have to suffer be be misunderstood as much as i am,and that personally i'd never wish these feelings and thoughts that i suffer with constantly…but honestly that view i feel is slowly changing

Would i inflict all these feelings i have on just anyone or even everyone? Oh no i mean the people that have misjudged me the people who have mislabeled me and mistreated me

The constant feelings of dread,the constant feelings of anxiety the constant feelings of self hatred and misidentify not even knowing who you are,the rapid emotions and constant worry and panic of people leaving you abandoning you hating you,constantly worryint and thinking how people think of you and seeing you

the endless feeling or lack of understanding and constant antagonism,the rapid storm of emotions swelling inside of you and constant thoughts about yourself people and the world around you but never truly being able to express them by voice or by text just stuck with them and they come as quickly as the go

realisations that never stick or just get written off or corrected seemingly the next day…the constant struggle and battle for control over your own mind and life yet its futile…people always hate you…people eventually leave you…and they never understand why…they tell you to move on…they tell you it isn't a big deal…they tell you your over reacing…basically saying your feelings don't matter…they say get therapy…they say all sorts of things without truly understanding how you feel or why you do these things…i'd wish that on some of these people…failure to understand me…to demonise me…to say i'm a monster yet you refuse to put me down?…you refuse to let me put an end to all of this in seemingly the only way i fan when i know there is a strong part of me that doesn't want to…but as the pain continues as it gets larger…as the mental pain and struggle gets harder and harder i get more and more pushed towards it…because no one will ever fully understand me

they'll understand certain elements and parts but for years people have tried to figure me out but no one can…"well isn't that your job?" You think I haven't fucking tried…I can't stand people who say the same basic generic shit of shitty advice I've already done or even wishes of "things get better" yet all that ever happens is they get fucking worse

I wish i could transplant all my insecurities and fears into these people until they come crawling to me begging for a sense of mercy like "oh I understand now and i'm sorry i was so terrible to you"

Because yea you don't understand unless you live in someones mind you can walk in someones shoes but that doesn't mean you experience it the same its narrow minded and dogmatic to think and believe that way

 

[Hollowman]

Very relatable, I used to want to be understood by at least one person. But I now know that's impossible.

 

[wsx-rt]

I remember years back thinking i wish mental health studies would be better so people like me didn't have to suffer be be misunderstood as much as i am,and that personally i'd never wish these feelings and thoughts that i suffer with constantly…but honestly that view i feel is slowly changing

Would i inflict all these feelings i have on just anyone or even everyone? Oh no i mean the people that have misjudged me the people who have mislabeled me and mistreated me

The constant feelings of dread,the constant feelings of anxiety the constant feelings of self hatred and misidentify not even knowing who you are,the rapid emotions and constant worry and panic of people leaving you abandoning you hating you,constantly worryint and thinking how people think of you and seeing you

the endless feeling or lack of understanding and constant antagonism,the rapid storm of emotions swelling inside of you and constant thoughts about yourself people and the world around you but never truly being able to express them by voice or by text just stuck with them and they come as quickly as the go

realisations that never stick or just get written off or corrected seemingly the next day…the constant struggle and battle for control over your own mind and life yet its futile…people always hate you…people eventually leave you…and they never understand why…they tell you to move on…they tell you it isn't a big deal…they tell you your over reacing…basically saying your feelings don't matter…they say get therapy…they say all sorts of things without truly understanding how you feel or why you do these things…i'd wish that on some of these people…failure to understand me…to demonise me…to say i'm a monster yet you refuse to put me down?…you refuse to let me put an end to all of this in seemingly the only way i fan when i know there is a strong part of me that doesn't want to…but as the pain continues as it gets larger…as the mental pain and struggle gets harder and harder i get more and more pushed towards it…because no one will ever fully understand me

they'll understand certain elements and parts but for years people have tried to figure me out but no one can…"well isn't that your job?" You think I haven't fucking tried…I can't stand people who say the same basic generic shit of shitty advice I've already done or even wishes of "things get better" yet all that ever happens is they get fucking worse

I wish i could transplant all my insecurities and fears into these people until they come crawling to me begging for a sense of mercy like "oh I understand now and i'm sorry i was so terrible to you"

Because yea you don't understand unless you live in someones mind you can walk in someones shoes but that doesn't mean you experience it the same its narrow minded and dogmatic to think and believe that way

I understand you very well

 

[jarik]

I've never had people's understanding.