1). Sounds like Vyvanse isn't working for you, might be worth considering a different prescription.
2). You don't owe your boss anything, it's just a job, they're just a boss,
relax.
3). Being highly critical and negative
at yourself is going to make you even less productive, shame & guilt and all that are stagnating emotions, they perpetuate themselves.
Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, best to know yours and play to them. Maybe whatever this job is isn't your strength, maybe this is the experience that will allow you to discover that new information about yourself,
that's fine, then you can adjust and move in a different direction. It doesn't need to be a big deal, it can just be what it is, and you can just move forward in a way that
suits you.
Maybe you just need to communicate with your boss more: about your role, about expectations, about the extra work load/responsibilities, about how you're feeling vs how you'd like to be preforming, about how they can help/support you, etc. If all is failing then it certainly can't make it worse to just be honest. (But also, even if they're disappointed, it's probably not as meaningful as you believe it is).
Maybe you just need more time to adjust and have got to
stop catastrophizing.
You need to regulate, because right now you're spiraling and
you're aware of it, if you're aware of yourself then you're already a step toward regulating.
Has anyone been through this ? Trying super hard, giving your best, but failing miserably?
Yeah, everyone goes through it multiple times in life with different things. Some things you'll be good at and some things you won't, it's always a bummer no doubt, but it's normal,
it's human.
Im afraid i will be fired
If it happens, then cross that bridge when you get there, maybe update your resume and start keeping an eye out for other opportunities just to feel a bit more prepared. But right now it doesn't seem like it's helping you
at all to be fixating on it; self-fulfilling prophecy and all that. It's not real until it happens.
You need to take care of yourself, not just having a job, but taking care of your
brain.
There's a lot of self neglect happening here contributing to the spiraling. Time is all gonna pass the same, no matter if you're worrying about the future or caught up in the past, it all still passes the same despite you, take a moment.
