Venting Failed

[vivia]

i'm slumped, just sitting. i'm just sitting in that chair i should've kicked. i tied everything right, just a few steps left to bail out of this, but i'm spacing, slumped in that chair. i already hung the rope, only my neck's left to do the hanging, so why... i'm just sitting quiet. bruh. this ain't the first time, but i hoped it'd be the last. i should've been gone by now. the morning after i'm just spacing like how i sat there. until now i'm confused, why am i still here? is this gonna be a timeloop where on the same date and month i'll just sit spacing like that again and let my survival instinct win? survival?... survive, for what?​