Failed miserably

[Skal]

(I don't have the energy to write in English, so I apologize for using machine translation.)

Late last night, I attempted CTB using helium gas (helium gas is not regulated where I live, and it's pure). I put on a gas mask, set the regulator to 25 L/min, and inhaled the gas. I lost consciousness after just a few breaths, and I didn't feel any pain at that point. But I woke up to find that I had taken off the mask and was gasping for air. And my face and the mask were covered in blood.

I had no idea what had happened. Breathing was difficult, I couldn't stop coughing, and I felt so sick that I threw up (fortunately, my stomach was empty, so nothing came out). My lips turned white, and I had wet my diaper. This condition lasted for hours, and before I knew it, it was morning. It's been about 15 hours since then, but whenever I stand up or sit down, I start coughing and feel like I'm going to throw up.

I still don't know what I did wrong. I made sure the mask was securely fastened so no air could get in. Also, there was still pressure left in the regulator, so it doesn't seem like the gas ran out (I closed the valve when I woke up). I don't know if that blood was a nosebleed, or from my lungs. I chose this method because I wanted to die peacefully, but if I have to go through such agony, I don't know what to do anymore.


Warning: graphic content:

 

[Fadenself00_]

Edit: This most likely happened due to the gas flow-rate being too strong - and if only slightly so - causing the exit-valve to not being able to keep up anymore.. Then the pressure built-up in the lungs until it was strong enough in the entire system to lift off the mask, then causing oxygen contamination one way or the other.. If you had strapped down the mask even further, you would have literally ruptured a lot more.

- - - - - - - -

That seems like a pressure injury to be honest...
I don't have the cognitive strength rn to further think this through, maybe some fellow inert gas master racers could join in...
In any case: Please get checked out if possible, your lungs may have been badly damaged and require immediate treatment..


You can ALWAYS message me or the other awesome people here, you can talk about your situation and we can support you.. Are you sure there isn't another way out of your situation other than ctb?

 

[SweetChariot]

I'm so so sorry you have to go through that
Are you able to get medical help since?
All the people here will be able to support you emotionally

 

[hughmun9]

ok, that's actually terrifying.

Why use a mask and not a traditional bag? My understanding is that a mask would almost always let some air in.

From an exit international FAQ:

"
- Is the plastic Exit bag really necessary. Why not use a face-mask to deliver the inert gas?

Common inexpensive face masks are often used to deliver oxygen to patients.They are usually held in place by elastic to cover the nose and mouth and oxygen is delivered through a plastic tube attached to the base of the mask. There is no attempt to seal the mask and face; the purpose is simply to increase the concentration of oxygen breathed above the usual 21%.The Exit Bag produces rapid loss of consciousness by ensuring that NO oxygen is inhaled. To achieve this using a mask, flow delivery flow rates of at least 20 litres/sec would be required to reduce the chance of oxygen contamination during inspiration (ie 100x that necessary with the Exit Bag!).While technically possible, a large diameter deliver hose would be needed along with gas source very much greater than the 420 litre Balloon Time cylinders. Risky and not recommended.
"

Though yours doesn't look like a 'common inexpensive face mask'

 

[RENOX]

Man what the fuck, what method works at this point. Every method has a flaw

 

[Fadenself00_]

Man what the fuck, what method works at this point. Every method has a flaw

Pressure build-up due to constant flow-rate and exit valve not being able to keep up, would be my best guess

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Oh, I'm sorry to hear this. I'm thinking that the bleeding and inhalation of & choking on the blood may have been what caused you to rip off the mask while unconscious. I agree with others that an exit bag is a better choice than a mask for a few reasons, one being it won't cause unwanted pressure. I would advise switching to a bag if you'd even consider this method again. For now just try to get some rest and medical attention if you feel you need it. Feel better

 

[hughmun9]

Man what the fuck, what method works at this point. Every method has a flaw

this might've motivated me to get SN instead

Pressure build-up due to constant flow-rate and exit valve not being able to keep up

That might be it. I was thinking the mask might've let air in, but maybe the issue is that it wasn't letting enough air out. So the pressure build up might've burst OP's lungs ... by forcing air inside them

 

[Fadenself00_]

this might've motivated me to get SN instead

That might be it. I was thinking the mask might've let air in, but maybe the issue is that it wasn't letting enough air out. So the pressure build up might've burst OP's lungs ... by forcing air inside them

Yes, otherwise there would literally be no blood.

One could get the exact model of mask used.. I'll bet it states certain max flow rates or something like that.

In any case, this is not a good representation of inert gas methods. Especially ones involving lung demand valves

ok, that's actually terrifying.

Why use a mask and not a traditional bag? My understanding is that a mask would almost always let some air in.

From an exit international FAQ:

"
- Is the plastic Exit bag really necessary. Why not use a face-mask to deliver the inert gas?

Common inexpensive face masks are often used to deliver oxygen to patients.They are usually held in place by elastic to cover the nose and mouth and oxygen is delivered through a plastic tube attached to the base of the mask. There is no attempt to seal the mask and face; the purpose is simply to increase the concentration of oxygen breathed above the usual 21%.The Exit Bag produces rapid loss of consciousness by ensuring that NO oxygen is inhaled. To achieve this using a mask, flow delivery flow rates of at least 20 litres/sec would be required to reduce the chance of oxygen contamination during inspiration (ie 100x that necessary with the Exit Bag!).While technically possible, a large diameter deliver hose would be needed along with gas source very much greater than the 420 litre Balloon Time cylinders. Risky and not recommended.
"

Though yours doesn't look like a 'common inexpensive face mask'

exit also for sure ignores the overpressure risk here as the main and dangerous risk

 

[hughmun9]

Yes, otherwise there would literally be no blood.

One could get the exact model of mask used.. I'll bet it states certain max flow rates or something like that.

In any case, this is not a good representation of inert gas methods. Especially ones involving lung demand valves

exit also for sure ignores the overpressure risk here as the main and dangerous risk

I think exit is talking about 'common inexpensive face masks' which probably don't apply to OP's setup, so I'm most likely misquoting them there. I'm guessing those masks don't seal the face at all and air just freely flows out of them. Hence why they mention a ridiculous flow rate of 20 liters/sec = 1200 l/min.

 

[unluckysadness]

So sorry to hear this :-(
That's why I fear so much a failed attempt.
I hope you'll find peace. If you need to talk, we're here.

But damn, why must we suffer like that ?? Thousands of people die everyday. Is death forbidden for us ??

 

[GodChallengesMe]

But damn, why must we suffer like that ?? Thousands of people die everyday. Is death forbidden for us ??

It's quite ironic that some people die out of blue like it's nothing and here we are, researching every possible method for months to years in order to kill ourselves at last. But, when the time comes to pull the trigger finally, most of us wake up here again. Einstein said that he [referring to god] doesn't play dice and it might be really true. Nothing happens randomly, everything is predetermined at the scratch, at the source level, before big bang happened.

 

[Skal]

Edit: This most likely happened due to the gas flow-rate being too strong - and if only slightly so - causing the exit-valve to not being able to keep up anymore.. Then the pressure built-up in the lungs until it was strong enough in the entire system to lift off the mask, then causing oxygen contamination one way or the other.. If you had strapped down the mask even further, you would have literally ruptured a lot more.

Hmm. I did multiple tests beforehand using an air blower instead of a helium tank at a similar flow rate, but I didn't encounter a problem like this. I even slept for a few hours multiple times while wearing the same mask and inhaling air from the blower.