Failed attempt number 1 (jumping)

[Lady Euthanasia]

I panicked, had a total mental breakdown and nearly escaped a phsychiatric hospital (I'm ok now... kind of). I deeply apologize if I distressed someone with my previous thread, I wasn't lying I truly though I would do it and now I am in a very confused mind state but also feeling like a complete asshole because of how my actions affected my mother, maybe I can explain with further detail what happened if you have a similar method and want to know what to expect but not at this moment, I don't feel ready to talk about this yet. By the way misjudging my survival instincts was a big mistake and physically I would say everything is fine since I didn't even take the antidepressant pills, besides vomiting from the stress I didn't harm my body in any other way. And again I'm very very sorry because I feel like a giant liar.

 

[RoloTomasi]

Nothing to be sorry about, welcome back

 

[Jackblade]

It's ok bro, jumping is one of the hardest method tho

 

[throwaway123]

It really doesn't matter what method it is. Be it N, Jumping, Train or Hanging. You have to be "ready" to do it. We're all struggling with this.

 

[Sidestep]

Failures happen, don't be ashamed. You should take time to recuperate, I know how distressing it can be to fail.

 

[Pk95]

Don't blame yourself. You shouldn't in these situations. Take time and reconsider your decision.. go ahead with whatever you decide by proper analysis.. may peace be with you .

Can you give a detail of what actually happened when you are ok.. I am planning to ctb with pills

 

[Lady Euthanasia]

Failures happen, don't be ashamed. You should take time to recuperate, I know how distressing it can be to fail.

You are very kind

 

[Comatose11]

You don't need to apologize. Jumping is hard to go through with. Don't blame yourself. You're not a liar. And you certainly aren't the only one. Suicide attempts are around 5 times more common than completed suicides.

 

[Lady Euthanasia]

You don't need to apologize. Jumping is hard to go through with. Don't blame yourself. You're not a liar.

I feel like one but it's ok, thank you for your kindness

 

[Lady Euthanasia]

Don't blame yourself. You shouldn't in these situations. Take time and reconsider your decision.. go ahead with whatever you decide by proper analysis.. may peace be with you .

Can you give a detail of what actually happened when you are ok.. I am planning to ctb with pills

May I ask what kind? Usually it is not the safest method, in mine it was kind of a back up plan but I surely am not judging you. And of course in a few days or a week I will write down the occurred. (Simply need my brain to digest this day)

 

[Lady Euthanasia]

Failures happen, don't be ashamed. You should take time to recuperate, I know how distressing it can be to fail.

I'm sorry you had to go through this :(

 

[Pk95]

May I ask what kind? Usually it is not the safest method, in mine it was kind of a back up plan but I surely am not judging you. And of course in a few days or a week I will write down the occurred. (Simply need my brain to digest this day)

That's fine . Am planning with Amitriptyline, alcohol. I am still in the process of collecting enough strips for me.

 

[Lady Euthanasia]

It really doesn't matter what method it is. Be it N, Jumping, Train or Hanging. You have to be "ready" to do it. We're all struggling with this.

Ugh if it was as easy as to press a red button than so many could have stopped their suffering, I'm sorry you are struggling with this

 

[IDontWantToBreathe]

Don't blame yourself. You shouldn't in these situations. Take time and reconsider your decision.. go ahead with whatever you decide by proper analysis.. may peace be with you .

Can you give a detail of what actually happened when you are ok.. I am planning to ctb with pills

Pills don't work. I've tried a handful of times! (Pun intended). There are more effective methods. People who are afraid to leave a mess are the ones who usually fail. A peaceful looking corpse and a painless death just doesn't happen and isn't worth the risk.. the success rate of death through pills is pretty much 1/100 and I wish I knew that before. I've had severe memory loss and trouble with retaining new information since my attempts. Don't risk comatose with sleeping pills or brain damage with anxiety meds like Xanax or Clonazepam. The shit just doesn't work and you could be left worse off than you already are.

 

[Lady Euthanasia]

That's fine . Am planning with Amitriptyline, alcohol. I am still in the process of collecting enough strips for me.

I searched for the side effects of an overdose and usually they do not write death as one but this must be a very potent drug, hope you know the amount you need or/and know previous cases who attempted using Amitriptyline

 

[IDontWantToBreathe]

I panicked, had a total mental breakdown and nearly escaped a phsychiatric hospital (I'm ok now... kind of). I deeply apologize if I distressed someone with my previous thread, I wasn't lying I truly though I would do it and now I am in a very confused mind state but also feeling like a complete asshole because of how my actions affected my mother, maybe I can explain with further detail what happened if you have a similar method and want to know what to expect but not at this moment, I don't feel ready to talk about this yet. By the way misjudging my survival instincts was a big mistake and physically I would say everything is fine since I didn't even take the antidepressant pills, besides vomiting from the stress I didn't harm my body in any other way. And again I'm very very sorry because I feel like a giant liar.

Please I urge everyone not to act out of desperation!!! Desperation leads to failed attempts. At least you didn't jump. Are you really considering suicide? Or are you considering making a gesture? There is a difference and it's good to know what you're looking for so you don't get something you don't want. Nothing wrong with wanting help.

 

[SeventyNine]

Welcome back! You don't have to be sorry for anything. Survival instinct is a bitch.
I'm glad you are uninjured, though.

 

[Tiburcio]

That method is extremely valiant. Only the act of facing that height requires a lot more courage than you think.

Welcome here again.

 

[Pk95]

Pills don't work. I've tried a handful of times! (Pun intended). There are more effective methods. People who are afraid to leave a mess are the ones who usually fail. A peaceful looking corpse and a painless death just doesn't happen and isn't worth the risk.. the success rate of death through pills is pretty much 1/100 and I wish I knew that before. I've had severe memory loss and trouble with retaining new information since my attempts. Don't risk comatose with sleeping pills or brain damage with anxiety meds like Xanax or Clonazepam. The shit just doesn't work and you could be left worse off than you already are.

Sorry to hear that. I have heard this view before. But we see quite a number of deaths from overdosing .. isn't it? Particularly when alcohol is added .Also , i have not built tolerance to alcohol. So, I feel like that gives me edge. What do you think

 

[Pk95]

I searched for the side effects of an overdose and usually they do not write death as one but this must be a very potent drug, hope you know the amount you need or/and know previous cases who attempted using Amitriptyline

Yes. Actually, I found some of these pills.. so I am trying with these. Am still searching what else I could add to make it foolproof.

 

[IDontWantToBreathe]

Sorry to hear that. I have heard this view before. But we see quite a number of deaths from overdosing .. isn't it? Particularly when alcohol is added .Also , i have not built tolerance to alcohol. So, I feel like that gives me edge. What do you think

I have actually tried several times. Using a combination of drugs. My plan was to just die.. which is not well thought out and that's why I've failed. I've done a lot of research since then though.

I'm sober now so drugs are a no go for me I've opted out for jumping.. I've used Alcohol, Xanax, Clonazepam, Marijuana, Cocaine and Meth all in one sitting in an attempt to just shock my heart. I've had several hospitalizations and only one occasion where a doctor told me I might not survive to which I replied "good". But sadly I lived.

If you do plan on using drugs you should use some industrial strength garbage bags and put them over your head, more than one because your body will try to keep you alive by ripping the bag.. and a very strong tape. Tape it tight and several times around your neck. You can also hang yourself using partial suspension with a slipknot on top of everything else if you want to be certain.

Do the research. It's better to use more than one method to ensure death. I most certainly would never attempt now unless I knew it to be fatal. Before I jump (70 feet, head first in to the ground) I'm going to stab myself and cut in to the left wrist so if the jump/fall doesn't kill me, the combination of the two will.

 

[Lady Euthanasia]

Please I urge everyone not to act out of desperation!!! Desperation leads to failed attempts. At least you didn't jump. Are you really considering suicide? Or are you considering making a gesture? There is a difference and it's good to know what you're looking for so you don't get something you don't want. Nothing wrong with wanting help.

No no you misunderstood... I planned this for a few months actually, it wasn't in any way a desperate attempt to make a gesture, I wanted to die but today I discovered apparently I wasn't ready, I apologize for misleading you.

 

[Lady Euthanasia]

That method is extremely valiant. Only the act of facing that height requires a lot more courage than you think.

Welcome here again.

Funny as it may sound I wasn't scared of heights it was the fear of dying... I have no idea what to make out of it, not completely at least

 

[Tiburcio]

Funny as it may sound I wasn't scared of heights it was the fear of dying... I have no idea what to make out of it, not completely at least

I know that feeling. It happened me several times in the rope...

 

[Lady Euthanasia]

I know that feeling. It happened me several times in the rope...

Sorry to hear :(

 

[killmepls]

If I knew I was going to a loony bin I would definitely kill myself then

 

[IDontWantToBreathe]

If I knew I was going to a loony bin I would definitely kill myself then

That's what you think. Also it's very insensitive to call a psychiatric unit a "loony bin". They're real people who need real help. Don't be ignorant.

 

[BxK]

Same, I failed my jump attempt two years ago, my only attempt. I was drunk, exausted from sprinting miles to a parking garage in extreme heat. I ran to the edge of the roof and stood at the edge...
Yet I couldn't take one simple step when at at the top, all the planning for a year, at the peak of despair, and yet...I couldn't take one step. Just one.
A lot of people can't take that step, even when it's what we wanted.

I'm sorry to hear you're in so much pain and stress, it probably sounds hollow and cliche, but I hope things work out for ya. I wish I had the power to help you, and others.
You all deserve it. May happiness and peace find you soon, in however you wish it.

 

[IDontWantToBreathe]

If I knew I was going to a loony bin I would definitely kill myself then

Same, I failed my jump attempt two years ago, my only attempt. I was drunk, exausted from sprinting miles to a parking garage in extreme heat. I ran to the edge of the roof and stood at the edge...
Yet I couldn't take one simple step when at at the top, all the planning for a year, at the peak of despair, and yet...I couldn't take one step. Just one.
A lot of people can't take that step, even when it's what we wanted.

I'm sorry to hear you're in so much pain and stress, it probably sounds hollow and cliche, but I hope things work out for ya. I wish I had the power to help you, and others.
You all deserve it. May happiness and peace find you soon, in however you wish it.

A lot of people don't want to die. We want to feel alive because we're already dead. Moments like that are the defining ones and I'm glad you did whatever you felt was right. More power to you.

 

[killmepls]

That's what you think. Also it's very insensitive to call a psychiatric unit a "loony bin". They're real people who need real help. Don't be ignorant.

I find the term 'psychiatric hospital' much ore offensive. It implies it has anything to do with science and is a place of healing instead of the stigmatizing torturous hellholes they are. You bet your bottom dollar I will die before going there