Venting I think I’m more scared of my reaction to drinking SN than actually dying

[Mooncry]

Does anyone else get stuck on the fear of how they'll react after drinking SN? For me, for some reason, I'm terrified of panicking. Not because I think it'll make me call for help, because I know that won't happen. In fact, I'm so certain it will work that it makes it even more scary in a way. The finality of it is both relieving and terrifying.

Also the fact that I'll likely only have 15-20 conscious minutes left being myself. I'm overthinking the shit out of it, but it's hard not to. I want to do it on the 29th, so less than a week from now. I've been fighting with setting and sticking to a date for so long at this point, exhausted doesn't even begin to describe how I feel.

As I anticipated, I've gotten nearly burnt out on the video game I've been playing, thus I'm back to focusing on the shit storm in my head. I want to do it so badly, even praying for the strength I need to go through with it, and I only ever pray in true desperation.

Please, I just want to go back to the stars and be with my daddy… That's all I want. I've suffered enough and my soul is tired…

 

[opheliaoveragain]

from my understanding of the various accounts, things start to happen in the body so quickly that there doesn't seem to be a lot of mental room for panic. not saying it's impossible. just saying that the body and therefore the mind is focused on reacting to the sn. i'm not sure if this makes it worse or better. but i've thought about the same things. plz reach out if you wanna talk beforehand.

 

[Alexandra_]

I admit, I'm a little scared. But I'm determined to drink SN.
I wish you that everything goes smoothly and that you quickly lose consciousness. I'm going to buy everything I need next week, I've already written a list.
I also constantly go over all this in my head, I think it's normal, because I'm not going to drink tea, but SN. I wanted to shoot myself for a long time, but now I've settled on SN.

I'm sorry that you're suffering and that you lost your father. I think you'll succeed, I wish you luck

 

[sanan23]

im in the same boat. It seems incredibly painful so I'm scared to do it but I want to do it so bad.

 

[Mooncry]

from my understanding of the various accounts, things start to happen in the body so quickly that there doesn't seem to be a lot of mental room for panic. not saying it's impossible. just saying that the body and therefore the mind is focused on reacting to the sn. i'm not sure if this makes it worse or better. but i've thought about the same things. plz reach out if you wanna talk beforehand.

Thank you, that is definitely reassuring. I appreciate you reaching out too. I see you around a lot and I can tell you're a very warm-hearted person. Your words mean a great deal to me. ^-^

I admit, I'm a little scared. But I'm determined to drink SN.
I wish you that everything goes smoothly and that you quickly lose consciousness. I'm going to buy everything I need next week, I've already written a list.
I also constantly go over all this in my head, I think it's normal, because I'm not going to drink tea, but SN. I wanted to shoot myself for a long time, but now I've settled on SN.

I'm sorry that you're suffering and that you lost your father. I think you'll succeed, I wish you luck

Thank you so much. I wish you peace and good luck as well, in whatever you choose to do. I also was considering firearm method before finding out about SN. I definitely think the brutality of a gun scares me more than whatever anxiety I may experience from SN.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Thank you, that is definitely reassuring. I appreciate you reaching out too. I see you around a lot and I can tell you're a very warm-hearted person. Your words mean a great deal to me. ^-^

you're sweet. back at you, for real. if you wanna chat before go time, I got you. sending hugs.

 

[Mooncry]

im in the same boat. It seems incredibly painful so I'm scared to do it but I want to do it so bad.

From everything I've gathered, SN is not painful, but more so a bit uncomfortable. But the discomfort is also short-lived because of how fast it works. I obviously have no firsthand experience, but I've researched it a lot and read a lot of other people's accounts.