Discussion Failed attempt and I am in so much pain

[darksideofthebright]

First of all, I would like to thank many of you guys so much for having checked in with me over the past few days. Your kind words and messages are really heart-warming to me.

As some of you may have known, I was contemplating to ctb through caffeine OD. Unfortunately, as I am writing these words, I have failed.

I am currently in the intensive care in the hospital after losing a serious amount of blood and nutrients. With all honesty, I am not sure how I am feeling at the moment mentally. This failed attempt has not only put me in a lot of pain physically, but also mentally. It is very upsetting to a certain degree, as well as exhausting mentally.

I genuinely don't know how I ended up in the hospital, but I have been in an out of sleep since Sunday. I thought I would share a bit of my experience with caffeine OD as a method, because even though I had thought that my pain tolerant was extremely high, the amount of pain I have been in is beyond imagination (So many of you guys have been right to advise me against it lol).

For the rest of you, I hope that whatever you are going through and whatever your plan is, I wish you peace and nothing but the best.

 

[woxihuanni]

I am so sorry you are going through this... Wish you a swift recovery and relief from all your troubles. Thank you for your kindness even in this bleakest time for you

 

[Mthom2]

I am so sorry that you are suffering. It is true that we learn through experience. Thank you for sharing what you are going through.

 

[darksideofthebright]

I am so sorry you are going through this... Wish you a swift recovery and relief from all your troubles. Thank you for your kindness even in this bleakest time for you

Thank you so much. I probably won't get out of the hospital before this weekend, but I will keep everyone updated. Hope everything is going well for you too!

I am so sorry that you are suffering. It is true that we learn through experience. Thank you for sharing what you are going through.

Anytime. And if anything, don't try to get an OD with caffeine haha (Unless you are determined and your pain tolerance is WAY higher than mine)!

 

[dropdeadfred]

Wow! Speedy recovery to you.

 

[ecmnesia]

i can't imagine the pain you are in right now. i am deeply sorry things didn't go as planned and wish you recover soon. please take care.

 

[WornOutLife]

Sorry you've failed, pal. I know how much it sucks because I've failed twice and now, my life is kinda hell, mainly because I'm being monitored 24/7.

 

[Zebedee]

Sorry things didn't go as planned and that you're in pain, I hope you feel better soon x

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Oh no :( I'm so sorry that things have turned out like this. Wishing you a smooth recovery.

 

[malti276]

Sorry about all the pain you're going through. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm so sorry to hear you suffered so much, and still are. I hope you have a fast recovery, and are able to find peace in wherever direction your life takes you.

 

[Silver]

I'm sorry to hear about your pain. I hope you're able to recover fast and with no lasting consequences.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

I'm sorry you are in so much pain. But if I may ask what exactly did you take?

 

[darksideofthebright]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I hope things will start to look better soon, physically speaking. This community has offered me so much support, and regardless of how many times I say "thank you", I really cannot express my gratitude enough.

I'm sorry you are in so much pain. But if I may ask what exactly did you take?

I took caffeine in powder form. I took somewhere around 10g or more (I wasn't exactly certain because I don't have the scale or anything for the exact measurement) as through research, the lethal dose of pure caffeine should be either 10g, or 200mg/kg of body weight.

 

[Ghost2211]

Would you be comfortable describing what it was like so we can link people here if they want to try this method? It's good to spread awareness and prevent suffering.

 

[Meditation guide]

I took caffeine in powder form. I took somewhere around 10g or more

Oh that is so horrible. I feel so bad for this and what you are going through. I saw you mention it before but thought you wouldn't actually do it. I wish I would have warned you away from it. I hope you recover fully and feel much better.

 

[darksideofthebright]

Would you be comfortable describing what it was like so we can link people here if they want to try this method? It's good to spread awareness and prevent suffering.

Oh yes of course! (Please note that I am writing this on my phone so as soon as I get discharged and get with my laptop, I will try to find the link to all the information I mention as followed). You can find a lot of information here.

So basically, there are different ways of getting an OD on caffeine:
1. Drink a ton of energy drink or coffee (which is 99% will not be successful because your body cannot take that much liquid in a short period of time - unless your body has a REALLY low tolerance to caffeine)
2. Take caffeine pills - This really depends on the brand. There are some out there with 50mg of caffeine per tablet while others have 200mg per tablet.
3. Take caffeine power - Apparently, this will get absorbed more easily, as pills can take up to 40 - 45 minutes to get into your bloodstream while caffeine powder can take as little as 15 minutes to start showing effect.

The lethal dose for a caffeine OD is on average 10g. However, this depends on your body type and whether you have any underlying health conditions. In fact, what you will need is 200mg/kg of body weight (So let's say if you are 50kg, you will need to ingest 10g of caffeine).

Overall, caffeine of any forms can start showing effects after 15 - 30 minutes, but for it to reach its peak, it can take on average of 45 minutes and will stay at its peak for up to 2 hours. During this time, there will be A LOT of symptoms that will show you that you are having an overdose. These include (Not in any particular order):
- Sweating
- Sensitivity to light and sound
- Headaches
- Chest pain (You can actually feel your heart beating out of your chest)
- Convulsion
- Uncontrollable speaking/excitement
- Jitters
- Muscle soreness
- Diarrhoea (You can also poop blood)
- A LOT of urination
- Nausea to Vomiting (You can actually vomit a lot of blood - which happened to me)
- Cardiac arrest
- Seizures
(Note in mind that cardiac arrests and seizures - apparently as they occur, you won't feel any pain, but after they die down, your body will be really sore)

If you change your mind, if you are found within the first 1-2 hours, you will most likely be saved. But after that, as caffeine gets more and more into your bloodstream, it will be more difficult to get you out of the emergency situation. Even when you are saved, you will have A LOT of trouble falling asleep as you are in the hospital, because they won't be able to give you sedatives due to the amount of medicines that they will be bumping into your body.

I won't go into details about how the hospital can save you, but there are ways for them to be able to save you. Note in mind, the only long-term consequence that I was able to find is kidney failure and nothing more serious than that (obviously this excludes coma and death).

---
Personally, if you were to choose this method, I wouldn't recommend pills, because it will take a lot of them for them to actually get dissolved in your tummy, and the stomach acid (or whatever glob that is that lies in your stomach) will prevent it from be absorbed into your system, and you will most likely just throw them all up.

I understand you might have a lot more questions, so feel free to shoot them my way! I will try my best to answer all of them!

Oh that is so horrible. I feel so bad for this and what you are going through. I saw you mention it before but thought you wouldn't actually do it. I wish I would have warned you away from it. I hope you recover fully and feel much better.

Thank you so much lovely. I was aware that it would be extremely painful and I was cocky enough to think that my pain tolerance could handle it.

 

[Ghost2211]

Oh yes of course! (Please note that I am writing this on my phone so as soon as I get discharged and get with my laptop, I will try to find the link to all the information I mention as followed). You can find a lot of information here.

So basically, there are different ways of getting an OD on caffeine:
1. Drink a ton of energy drink or coffee (which is 99% will not be successful because your body cannot take that much liquid in a short period of time - unless your body has a REALLY low tolerance to caffeine)
2. Take caffeine pills - This really depends on the brand. There are some out there with 50mg of caffeine per tablet while others have 200mg per tablet.
3. Take caffeine power - Apparently, this will get absorbed more easily, as pills can take up to 40 - 45 minutes to get into your bloodstream while caffeine powder can take as little as 15 minutes to start showing effect.

The lethal dose for a caffeine OD is on average 10g. However, this depends on your body type and whether you have any underlying health conditions. In fact, what you will need is 200mg/kg of body weight (So let's say if you are 50kg, you will need to ingest 10g of caffeine).

Overall, caffeine of any forms can start showing effects after 15 - 30 minutes, but for it to reach its peak, it can take on average of 45 minutes and will stay at its peak for up to 2 hours. During this time, there will be A LOT of symptoms that will show you that you are having an overdose. These include (Not in any particular order):
- Sweating
- Sensitivity to light and sound
- Headaches
- Chest pain (You can actually feel your heart beating out of your chest)
- Convulsion
- Uncontrollable speaking/excitement
- Jitters
- Muscle soreness
- Diarrhoea (You can also poop blood)
- A LOT of urination
- Nausea to Vomiting (You can actually vomit a lot of blood - which happened to me)
- Cardiac arrest
- Seizures
(Note in mind that cardiac arrests and seizures - apparently as they occur, you won't feel any pain, but after they die down, your body will be really sore)

If you change your mind, if you are found within the first 1-2 hours, you will most likely be saved. But after that, as caffeine gets more and more into your bloodstream, it will be more difficult to get you out of the emergency situation. Even when you are saved, you will have A LOT of trouble falling asleep as you are in the hospital, because they won't be able to give you sedatives due to the amount of medicines that they will be bumping into your body.

I won't go into details about how the hospital can save you, but there are ways for them to be able to save you. Note in mind, the only long-term consequence that I was able to find is kidney failure and nothing more serious than that (obviously this excludes coma and death).

---
Personally, if you were to choose this method, I wouldn't recommend pills, because it will take a lot of them for them to actually get dissolved in your tummy, and the stomach acid (or whatever glob that is that lies in your stomach) will prevent it from be absorbed into your system, and you will most likely just throw them all up.

I understand you might have a lot more questions, so feel free to shoot them my way! I will try my best to answer all of them!

Thank you for sharing this. I'm so sorry you suffered so much. I imagine that was frightening as well. It's kind of you to share your knowledge and experience. A lot of us have consisted this method at one point or another due to accessibility, but it's not a good option.

 

[darksideofthebright]

Thank you for sharing this. I'm so sorry you suffered so much. I imagine that was frightening as well. It's kind of you to share your knowledge and experience. A lot of us have consisted this method at one point or another due to accessibility, but it's not a good option.

I definitely wouldn't say that this is a good option at all, because compared to many other ctb methods, this does not only take a long time, but also is painful as hell.

Yes, it is definitely accessible (I think if you are living in the UK, because as far as I am aware, the sales of caffeine powder have been banned in the US and Australia), but the pain, once again, isn't worth it. If you were to try this out, I think one good side to it is that you can play it off as an accident, in case you are afraid of being sectioned. I did take Pepto-Bismol beforehand to make sure that I wouldn't throw up, yet I did anyway.

Currently, I am in the hospital, and the other day, because the level of caffeine in blood was so high, I could barely sleep because my body wouldn't stop shaking and I think I cried the entire night lol.

Overall, is it an option to ctb? Yes. Should you consider this over other methods? No. Now, I will try to feel better, and as soon as I have the chance, I will have to look into other methods.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm sorry for all your suffering, and I hope you will feel better soon. Thank you for being so brave to share your story. I think it will help a lot of people.

 

[muffin222]

I'm so sorry you're in this painful situation. I can't imagine how frustrated you must feel right now having a failed attempt. I hate that you've had to suffer so much, but I hope that once the dust settles you will find a more peaceful solution to your struggles, whatever that may be. Thank you for sharing your story with us

 

[botanormal]

I'm so sorry it didn't work out, that must've been really scary. You don't deserve to be in that much pain at all, I really hope you're able to feel better soon. It always hurts after a failed attempt, I can't imagine how much pain you must be going through. Even though that's true you're still taking the time to write out such a sweet message for us, which is very kind, I really appreciate all you do! I'm sending you all my love, and hoping you have a speedy recovery. Hugs!

 

[OminousVaL]

I hope the pain goes away sooner rather than later. Sounds about as painful as I imagined caffeine OD would be. Smooth travels, friend.

 

[Silvermorning]

Oh yes of course! (Please note that I am writing this on my phone so as soon as I get discharged and get with my laptop, I will try to find the link to all the information I mention as followed). You can find a lot of information here.

So basically, there are different ways of getting an OD on caffeine:
1. Drink a ton of energy drink or coffee (which is 99% will not be successful because your body cannot take that much liquid in a short period of time - unless your body has a REALLY low tolerance to caffeine)
2. Take caffeine pills - This really depends on the brand. There are some out there with 50mg of caffeine per tablet while others have 200mg per tablet.
3. Take caffeine power - Apparently, this will get absorbed more easily, as pills can take up to 40 - 45 minutes to get into your bloodstream while caffeine powder can take as little as 15 minutes to start showing effect.

The lethal dose for a caffeine OD is on average 10g. However, this depends on your body type and whether you have any underlying health conditions. In fact, what you will need is 200mg/kg of body weight (So let's say if you are 50kg, you will need to ingest 10g of caffeine).

Overall, caffeine of any forms can start showing effects after 15 - 30 minutes, but for it to reach its peak, it can take on average of 45 minutes and will stay at its peak for up to 2 hours. During this time, there will be A LOT of symptoms that will show you that you are having an overdose. These include (Not in any particular order):
- Sweating
- Sensitivity to light and sound
- Headaches
- Chest pain (You can actually feel your heart beating out of your chest)
- Convulsion
- Uncontrollable speaking/excitement
- Jitters
- Muscle soreness
- Diarrhoea (You can also poop blood)
- A LOT of urination
- Nausea to Vomiting (You can actually vomit a lot of blood - which happened to me)
- Cardiac arrest
- Seizures
(Note in mind that cardiac arrests and seizures - apparently as they occur, you won't feel any pain, but after they die down, your body will be really sore)

If you change your mind, if you are found within the first 1-2 hours, you will most likely be saved. But after that, as caffeine gets more and more into your bloodstream, it will be more difficult to get you out of the emergency situation. Even when you are saved, you will have A LOT of trouble falling asleep as you are in the hospital, because they won't be able to give you sedatives due to the amount of medicines that they will be bumping into your body.

I won't go into details about how the hospital can save you, but there are ways for them to be able to save you. Note in mind, the only long-term consequence that I was able to find is kidney failure and nothing more serious than that (obviously this excludes coma and death).

---
Personally, if you were to choose this method, I wouldn't recommend pills, because it will take a lot of them for them to actually get dissolved in your tummy, and the stomach acid (or whatever glob that is that lies in your stomach) will prevent it from be absorbed into your system, and you will most likely just throw them all up.

I understand you might have a lot more questions, so feel free to shoot them my way! I will try my best to answer all of them!


Thank you so much lovely. I was aware that it would be extremely painful and I was cocky enough to think that my pain tolerance could handle it.

This sounds like such a horrid experience!, jesus fucking christ

I'm so sorry.

 

[Lady Cassie]

I am so sorry you failed to ctb. I'm so sorry your in so much pain.

Thank you for this message
Hope you feel better soon

 

[shay23]

Sending love, hope you are feeling better very soon

 

[darksideofthebright]

Thank you all so much for all the kind messages. I am genuinely so glad to have found this community that actually has sympathy and understandings for my circumstance. You guys all deserve so much peace, happiness and love in life.

 

[TooConscious]

I drank a can of monster and was sure I had caffeine od.
Jesus mate. If you've got the plums for that then have some fuckin taste next time there's a alphabet of drugs. Don't understand some people's thinking it's like you were doing it for 'art' lol.
I wish you a well recovery.

 

[Soul]

@darksideofthebright, I'm sorry you're suffering. Please take some time to be kind to yourself: Get good rest, drink lots of liquids, breathe fresh air and eat your spinach. And feel better as fast as you can, please. (((Hug)))