Help Failed at Partial Hanging and now think I have brain damage!

[ojinzo]

Anyone coming out of a period of unconsciousness is disoriented for a while. I've been unconscious and the same way. Your brain function seems fine. You are comprehending what's being written, and replying to it coherently . Do you still know your name and where you live, how old you are, who is the leader of your country, what year it is, etc? If any connections were damaged, your brain will remake new ones. The body is very resilient. You weren't out for that long. People have actually been dead for many minutes with no oxygen at all getting to their brains, then revived, and they are fine.

I can't stand you @locked*n*loaded you just love to invalidate how someone feels on every single post I see of yours. You really sicken me. I bet you have this affect on a lot of people around you. Always want to be right. Urgh.

 

[Someone123]

I can't stand you @locked*n*loaded you just love to invalidate how someone feels on every single post I see of yours. You really sicken me. I bet you have this affect on a lot of people around you. Always want to be right. Urgh.

This seems a little too harsh to me, but it is true that OP has some very serious concerns and only time will tell how much recovery they will get- things are pretty bad now, though, and of course they are worried that these effects may be permanent- anyone would be scared on that in this situation- wee sholdn't pretend that because some mental functioning is ok that it all is, this is obviously not the case. I hope they can recover fully over time.

 

[eternapeace]

yes. once i was found after 24hrs cold and blue and stayed in icu it sucked. another time i railed abt 1.3g of pure girl n had a massive seizure which resulted in me getting found b/c noise. first thing was many years ago, took ~3mo for total recovery. second thing was ~2mo ago, still lost some sensation but cognition is same. i am sure that with opiate/benzo od's i did loose o2 absorption, the latter, i am not sure, first time i tried that way. someone mentioned earlier similarities to a concussion, that sounds like a valid precaution imo- so, staying awake, interacting, things like that. just my opinion tho i'm not a doctor!

How do you even recover from 24 hours "cold and blue"? Wouldn't you definitely have brain damage?

 

[grp35]

Good! :)

I am very

This seems a little too harsh to me, but it is true that OP has some very serious concerns and only time will tell how much recovery they will get- things are pretty bad now, though, and of course they are worried that these effects may be permanent- anyone would be scared on that in this situation- wee sholdn't pretend that because some mental functioning is ok that it all is, this is obviously not the case. I hope they can recover fully over time.

Thank you. I know everyone is just trying to help and their hearts are in the right place. I have no hope for recovery after speaking with my neurologist. Things just will not get better for me, I'm afraid. I will have to find an acceptable way to CTB but I just don't know when that will occur.

How do you even recover from 24 hours "cold and blue"? Wouldn't you definitely have brain damage?

I was wondering the same. Maybe there are some finer details that we are missing from the story?

 

[suicidalpushpop]

how long have you had these symptoms

 

[grp35]

how long have you had these symptoms

Not sure if this is meant for me but I've had the symptoms for one week. Before this, I rarely ever had headaches and did not have any of the other symptoms at all.

 

[actual_fox]

Not sure if this is meant for me but I've had the symptoms for one week. Before this, I rarely ever had headaches and did not have any of the other symptoms at all.

I hope you get better with time.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I can't stand you @locked*n*loaded you just love to invalidate how someone feels on every single post I see of yours. You really sicken me. I bet you have this affect on a lot of people around you. Always want to be right. Urgh.

Frankly, I couldn't give a shit what you think about me. I don't even know why I'm responding to your moronic comments. So, you feel it's invalidating to offer hope to someone who thinks they may have brain damage from a failed partial attempt? So, it's better to say, "yeah, you probably lost a bunch of brain cells and messed yourself up for life, and your life will be even worse now"? I'm sure that's the kind of thing someone like you would say to someone. One thing I have learned in life that, apparently, you haven't, is that if you don't have anything good to say to someone , you should keep your stinking mouth shut! And if you don't like what I have to say why don't you just ignore my comments by hitting the little ignore button instead of opening your big fat mouth? Doesn't that solve the entire problem?

 

[Dark Moon]

I tried hanging myself once but I didn't do it properly, I didn't experience what you're describing. Reading posts like this puts me of hanging in case I fail.

 

[theboy]

the effects may wear off in a couple of days or a few weeks, have you thought about going to the doctor?

 

[Dark Moon]

Hope you get some recovery.

 

[grp35]

the effects may wear off in a couple of days or a few weeks, have you thought about going to the doctor?

Yes, I went to the neurologist. He said the effects may wear off but any damage is permanent since we cannot regrow brain cells. I've woken up with a headache everyday since but it is getting slightly better. I'm also much dumber and slower than I used to be. I'm just so freaked out now. I never meant for it to become a serious attempt. Did you have a similar kind of experience with brain damage?

 

[theboy]

Yes, I went to the neurologist. He said the effects may wear off but any damage is permanent since we cannot regrow brain cells. I've woken up with a headache everyday since but it is getting slightly better. I'm also much dumber and slower than I used to be. I'm just so freaked out now. I never meant for it to become a serious attempt. Did you have a similar kind of experience with brain damage?

I survived a total aorcation but did not suffer cerabral damage (I guess...).
Did you not really want to die or were you practicing?

 

[grp35]

I survived a total aorcation but did not suffer cerabral damage (I guess...).
Did you not really want to die or were you practicing?

What is a total aorcation?

It's hard to explain how I felt. I wanted to die but I wasn't ready yet and wanted to practice to make sure I didn't fail at it. Now that I have brain damage, I want to die even more but am too scared to try again right now. I made my life even worse than it was!

I tried hanging myself once but I didn't do it properly, I didn't experience what you're describing. Reading posts like this puts me of hanging in case I fail.

What happened when you tried to do it? Did you pass out at all?

 

[ojinzo]

Frankly, I couldn't give a shit what you think about me. I don't even know why I'm responding to your moronic comments. So, you feel it's invalidating to offer hope to someone who thinks they may have brain damage from a failed partial attempt? So, it's better to say, "yeah, you probably lost a bunch of brain cells and messed yourself up for life, and your life will be even worse now"? I'm sure that's the kind of thing someone like you would say to someone. One thing I have learned in life that, apparently, you haven't, is that if you don't have anything good to say to someone , you should keep your stinking mouth shut! And if you don't like what I have to say why don't you just ignore my comments by hitting the little ignore button instead of opening your big fat mouth? Doesn't that solve the entire problem?

As much as I'm inclined to spew pithy/ witty vitriol, honestly, I'm going to be dead come Sunday. My heart is no longer filled with hate or anger as I wait for my bus ride, ticket clutched I'm hand. Rather, I prefer peace and offer you an apology. I do not want to leave this world with anymore enemies than I already have. I wish you well and I'm sorry for being a jerk toward you.

 

[grp35]

As much as I'm inclined to spew pithy/ witty vitriol, honestly, I'm going to be dead come Sunday. My heart is no longer filled with hate or anger as I wait for my bus ride, ticket clutched I'm hand. Rather, I prefer peace and offer you an apology. I do not want to leave this world with anymore enemies than I already have. I wish you well and I'm sorry for being a jerk toward you.

Fare thee well, sir. How do you plan to CTB? Hanging or otherwise?

 

[👁️👃👁️]

Yes, I went to the neurologist. He said the effects may wear off but any damage is permanent since we cannot regrow brain cells. I've woken up with a headache everyday since but it is getting slightly better. I'm also much dumber and slower than I used to be. I'm just so freaked out now. I never meant for it to become a serious attempt. Did you have a similar kind of experience with brain damage?

Redirect Notice

Yes there can be damage or other complications, it is important to get checked out in the ER just in case because other things might happen like stroke etc also, don't mean to be the black bean of this but from experience, being in the behavioral unit isn't as scary as you think. Sometimes, you meet interesting normal people that also have depression, or other stories, and become friends. Sometimes there are group sessions, board games, etc and they'll start you off on a medication too. It's always good to have insurance, even the free one is good for these situations. Even if you aren't comfortable telling strangers about you, you can still at least try the medications they prescribe, and they'll work with you on it too. I knew someone that always did this to themselves, they felt despairing much like how you do, and they didn't see any improvements until they were prescribed a monthly injectable and lamotrigine. They still felt sad sometimes, but not nearly as bad as before.

Being in a behavioral unit isn't going to potentially cure what could be brain damage.

 

[grp35]

Redirect Notice

Being in a behavioral unit isn't going to potentially cure what could be brain damage.

That's very true. I know peoples' hearts are in the right place but physical brain injury (from chemicals, lack of oxygen, or trauma) cannot be fixed with CBT or talk therapy. It's like putting a band-aid on a severed limb and hoping the limb will heal and regenerate.

 

[Someone123]

Yes, I went to the neurologist. He said the effects may wear off but any damage is permanent since we cannot regrow brain cells. I've woken up with a headache everyday since but it is getting slightly better. I'm also much dumber and slower than I used to be. I'm just so freaked out now. I never meant for it to become a serious attempt. Did you have a similar kind of experience with brain damage?

The neurologist gave you some bad information, or at least misleading information. It is true that when brain cells die they can not be replaced, but brain cells in other areas often help by taking over some of the functioning of the dead brain cells. I personally had some brain damage from a stroke and I couldn't walk for a week, then I had to use a walker for a week, and now, years later, I walk normally with a minor limp that some people don't even notice. The first month after a brain injury offers the best period of recovery, but you can work on it and get some recovery for even years later. I know that pure oxygen has some people with brain injury from football. The best thing you can do during this critical first month especially but even later is to look at the tasks you feel dumber at and push yourself hard to get better at them. I also believe in doing as much high intesnity casrdio exercise as you can, such as a stairs machine at the gym and getting your heart rate above 140 for as long as you can, then down to 130, then down to 120- this will flood more oxygen into your brain and will help in recovery. Some doctors are idiots. One told me whatever I have after one month was all the recovery I would get- I still got some recovery years later.
Joe Namath famously got recovery from his football brain injuries decades later by going into a hyperbaric chamber- a chmaber of pure oxygen- but he did this hundreds of times and it was very expensive, though it shows that you can get recovery even much later.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Just went to the neuro and he said my MRI is normal. Says it's impossible for them to test cognitive damage. Said that time will tell

This is a little bit weird because there are "neurobehavioral tests" that can be given to check out cognitive function. People with dementia (or suspected dementia) or brain damage from other causes get these tests all the time. They can compare to IQ testing done in school (or something like that).

I have no hope for recovery after speaking with my neurologist.

Yes, I went to the neurologist. He said the effects may wear off but any damage is permanent since we cannot regrow brain cells. I've woken up with a headache everyday since but it is getting slightly better. I'm also much dumber and slower than I used to be. I'm just so freaked out now. I never meant for it to become a serious attempt. Did you have a similar kind of experience with brain damage?

I am sorry to hear you are feeling so hopeless and freaked out. It's totally understandable. That's a really bad, upsetting thing, losing your cognitive abilities. Do you have any way to get a second opinion? I'm not sure that your doctor has communicated very effectively.

Here is some basic stuff about neuroplasticity as it pertains to various "brain problems," including brain damage from stroke. I'm not saying you should take particular recommendations from here (about depression or whatever). I just think this is a good intro for you because it is nontechnical. What it boils down to is, yes, if any brain cells died, they will not "regrow." However, your brain can do a thing like "rewire" itself in order to adapt. Information can travel along different pathways (or whatever) to compensate for whatever is missing. You can get serious about "healing" your brain. There's all kinds of info out there about what is and is not good for your brain. Given time (like a month to a year), the situation can be very different from how it is right now. I don't think you should give up hope yet.

What Is Neuroplasticity? A Psychologist Explains [+14 Tools]

Read the theory & psychology of neuroplasticity + the best books & TEDtalks.

positivepsychology.com

 

[Someone123]

That's very true. I know peoples' hearts are in the right place but physical brain injury (from chemicals, lack of oxygen, or trauma) cannot be fixed with CBT or talk therapy. It's like putting a band-aid on a severed limb and hoping the limb will heal and regenerate.

As a person who had a brain injury due to a stroke, I guarantee that some brain injuries can recover quite a lot because it is a known fact that when some brain cells die other brain cells can learn to take over the functions of those cells over time- each brain injury is different. OP's symptoms are not great but they are much less than many brain injuries so that is a lot of hope that if you do the right things that you can help with process along and get significant recovery from this brain injury.

 

[grp35]

As a person who had a brain injury due to a stroke, I guarantee that some brain injuries can recover quite a lot because it is a known fact that when some brain cells die other brain cells can learn to take over the functions of those cells over time- each brain injury is different. OP's symptoms are not great but they are much less than many brain injuries so that is a lot of hope that if you do the right things that you can help with process along and get significant recovery from this brain injury.

Did you have any mood changes or negative impact to your executive functioning as a result of your stroke?

 

[Hollowillow]

After being hit by a car I couldn't walk straight, saw double, couldn't spell my name easily, stuttered. It was almost a year ago. I got much better. I still stutter when someone pushes me too far, numbers are still hard but memory is better... But was never good.

Someone wrote that he couldn't walk for maybe 2 weeks after hanging but can now. I think he gears tinnitus and see black dots?

I didn't see the harm in the shared hopeful experience... But I needed full bed rest, absolute avoidance of stimuli. I could barely stay awake 5h a day. Telling you to do high intensity cardio at the gym... Or take toxic psychiatric drugs... Torture.

I used B vitamins because that's how you renew nerve cells. The brain is basically a ball of nerves. With vitamin c.

I worry now because I thought it was less rusky with partial, how did you hang yourself?

If you ctb anyway don't worry as long as you can move you can try again. SN might be less damaging if it fails.

I did tests too, to fool my SI hoping to truly die. Tests shouldn't be done if you wish to live... But I have a feeling that you wish it had worked... Sorry for the pain.

Sadly going online or watching tv is exhausting too. Just sleep & relax.

 

[grp35]

After being hit by a car I couldn't walk straight, saw double, couldn't spell my name easily, stuttered. It was almost a year ago. I got much better. I still stutter when someone pushes me too far, numbers are still hard but memory is better... But was never good.

Someone wrote that he couldn't walk for maybe 2 weeks after hanging but can now. I think he gears tinnitus and see black dots?

I didn't see the harm in the shared hopeful experience... But I needed full bed rest, absolute avoidance of stimuli. I could barely stay awake 5h a day. Telling you to do high intensity cardio at the gym... Or take toxic psychiatric drugs... Torture.

I used B vitamins because that's how you renew nerve cells. The brain is basically a ball of nerves. With vitamin c.

I worry now because I thought it was less rusky with partial, how did you hang yourself?

If you ctb anyway don't worry as long as you can move you can try again. SN might be less damaging if it fails.

I did tests too, to fool my SI hoping to truly die. Tests shouldn't be done if you wish to live... But I have a feeling that you wish it had worked... Sorry for the pain.

Sadly going online or watching tv is exhausting too. Just sleep & relax.

I'm sorry for your experience. Getting hit by a car sounds awful. Is that why you want to ctb now? Because of what that event did?

I was just testing it out but I would have been fine with dying. I was not fine with failing. The partial method that I used was leaning forward on my knees. I found the right spot on my neck and quickly passed out and my neck carried all of my body weight while I was passed out for 1-2 minutes. I woke up facing the other direction and had banged my head against the wall. It felt very peaceful to me but my body must have been thrashing around and that is how I made myself turn 270 degrees around.

Unfortunately, I am already taking psych drugs so I have to keep that going. I hate them.

I would be open to trying SN. Does anyone have a reliable source for SN? I can't find any online.