F*cked up with tourniquet

[arthurkuzechov]

Hello there!
So, I just fucked up with tourniquet method. I did buy combat application tourniquet, and I did test it. And when I putted the lock right back in my neck and tighted it very hard - I felt incredible dizziness and my vision became black. After 5 seconds my body became light and I pass out. But when I was passed out I felt myself in my body… And know what… I feel how body wanted to stop this action I mean it was making a decision about to break this action up or not… And at 1 moment about 30 seconds and my body released the tourniquet… And you know what, it was against my own will. I mean body acted by its own. F*ck! F*cking survival instinct! I hate this body!
I really want to leave this world because I tried to feel deeper unbearable pain in my soul every single day, and I just wanted rescue me and this body from awful things which are coming in this world, but this body played against me… (I mean I leave around Russia and there is option that Russian will start the war against my country…) f*ck.
I'll try it anyway. I just must wait 5 minutes.
I mean at the mint as I black out all I need is wait 5 minutes.

 

[tbroken]

Can't you access other Methods, like SN or similar?

 

[arthurkuzechov]

Can't you access other Methods, like SN or similar?

In my country, one of the CIS countries- to get SN for personal use is very hard. I mean, I can buy only technical SN that is packed at 25kg. LOL. Other varieties are selling only for companies not for individuals. And have a gun is illegal.

 

[olegsitnikov]

Понимаю бро...

 

[arthurkuzechov]

Понимаю бро...

Опа! Рад видеть тебя и читать на родном языке) Мы видать в патовой ситуации)

 

[iloverachel]

I am sorry you are in so much pain my friend

 

[arthurkuzechov]

I am sorry you are in so much pain my friend

Thank you, friend for your support! I'll make a best of it

 

[olegsitnikov]

Почему жгут, а не скрепное родное повешение?

 

[DizzyFolfy]

I'm sorry it didn't go as planned :c But hey it's not your fault, SI is just like that sometimes~ Hopefully you can find the peace you're looking for whether you go with it or not ^w^

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry SI is is so strong and you failed. I hope u can find peace somehow. Don't be too hard to yourself!

 

[tbroken]

In my country, one of the CIS countries- to get SN for personal use is very hard. I mean, I can buy only technical SN that is packed at 25kg. LOL. Other varieties are selling only for companies not for individuals. And have a gun is illegal.

I feel sorry about that and i don't know how i can help. I don't want to say stupid things, but is there any chance that you can get packages from PL or similar?
A****** is still a viable source for SN.

 

[arthurkuzechov]

Почему жгут, а не скрепное родное повешение?

Я бы сказал что не мой стиль. Но наверно я просто очкую

I'm sorry it didn't go as planned :c But hey it's not your fault, SI is just like that sometimes~ Hopefully you can find the peace you're looking for whether you go with it or not ^w^

Thank you, friend:3 Anyway I'll find the way out

I'm sorry SI is is so strong and you failed. I hope u can find peace somehow. Don't be too hard to yourself!

Yeah, SI is a b*tch Ok, I'll be more easy on me.

I feel sorry about that and i don't know how i can help. I don't want to say stupid things, but is there any chance that you can get packages from PL or similar?
A****** is still a viable source for SN.

No problem, friend, y'all guys already do much for me for your comments Yeah I'll check this out, thanks.

 

[Placo]

Hello there!
So, I just fucked up with tourniquet method. I did buy combat application tourniquet, and I did test it. And when I putted the lock right back in my neck and tighted it very hard - I felt incredible dizziness and my vision became black. After 5 seconds my body became light and I pass out. But when I was passed out I felt myself in my body… And know what… I feel how body wanted to stop this action I mean it was making a decision about to break this action up or not… And at 1 moment about 30 seconds and my body released the tourniquet… And you know what, it was against my own will. I mean body acted by its own. F*ck! F*cking survival instinct! I hate this body!
I really want to leave this world because I tried to feel deeper unbearable pain in my soul every single day, and I just wanted rescue me and this body from awful things which are coming in this world, but this body played against me… (I mean I leave around Russia and there is option that Russian will start the war against my country…) f*ck.
I'll try it anyway. I just must wait 5 minutes.
I mean at the mint as I black out all I need is wait 5 minutes.

Honestly, I don't think you were truly unconscious because otherwise you wouldn't have been able to do that automatic action either, you were probably in a state halfway between being alert and unconscious if you still felt in your body, to avoid things like that I bought handcuffs, I'll handcuff myself behind my back with the plastic bag method, but I could use this one too, I'm undecided.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so horrible and dreadful to me how people cannot just have the option to easily die in peace even know there is so much suffering in existing. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, it's so unacceptable how people have to struggle so much to die.

 

[arthurkuzechov]

Honestly, I don't think you were truly unconscious because otherwise you wouldn't have been able to do that automatic action either, you were probably in a state halfway between being alert and unconscious if you still felt in your body, to avoid things like that I bought handcuffs, I'll handcuff myself behind my back with the plastic bag method, but I could use this one too, I'm undecided.

Hmm, you're right. I never been unconscious. And maybe I was wrong. Anyway SI is the thorn in our side. I wish you good luck with your plans

It's just so horrible and dreadful to me how people cannot just have the option to easily die in peace even know there is so much suffering in existing. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, it's so unacceptable how people have to struggle so much to die.

That's right. Idk there is anywhere a god, and if he is so he is really sadistic maniac if he doesn't let people die by their own will, and let them live even they don't want to…