Extreme difficulty "getting things in order"

[underairpressure]

I have a lot of barriers that are preventing me from being "ready" in case i either die from my self-destructive behavior, or directly by suicide, and it's frustrating how much trouble I'm having getting them done. I wondered if anyone else struggled with the same issue

I have extremely bad executive function issues so I'm sure that's part of it. Getting ANYTHING done, even in the best of circumstances, is hard for me. But I also think in this case specifically it's just, extra daunting, because I have so many things I want/need to do (personalized notes for loved ones, preparing my living will/advance directive, organizing and selling off my stuff, etc). Has anyone here dealt with this, and figured out a way to actually get things done?

 

[Jadeith]

Easiest or rather, most accessible way to manage things to do is to create a list. Paper one or on the phone. Hell, one can even make a list here as a post and then fulfill the tasks with the help of the community.
Keeping it in the head is bloody difficult, especially with thoughts racing around like hypercaffeinated cats with ADHD. If you write it down, you can assign priority to specific tasks, timelines if needed, % of completion, assigning specific task to a specific days etc.
If the task is too large, it can be split into subtasks that are easier to complete in sorter amount of time.

 

[yotaka]

I very much relate to this. I'm not sure that I have any useful advice, but I at least wanted to chime in and say you're not alone.

I agree with Jadeith, lists can be very helpful.

I've also found that my lack of commitment is a big issue when it comes to this. I wonder if you feel similarly? Like, the things I want to take care of beforehand include closing out my bank account, canceling recurring payments (phone, internet, loan payments...), and getting rid of lots of my possessions. But then I think if I do these things and don't follow through, life is going to be even more of a pain, so I'm in kind of a weird limbo.

 

[ifihadnever]

I had the exact same problem in November. Getting everything in order really broke me. Looking back...I over did it....now I think do I really need to do x,y,z...only do what is essential. For example....do you NEED to sell stuff if its causing you added stress, why do you need to sell things if you plan to CBT? Writing a will and getting practical bits sorted is hard (like you i struggle at the best of times). I would then recommend having a little break once bits are in order - I thought I could then just go and CBT but I crashed and burned.

So, upon reflection my advice would be, as you sound like you will struggle like me...just do what is essential. Anything more will wear you down.

Then have some breathing space before the next steps.

That's my advice anyway!

Good luck - the practicalities are not easy!

 

[thelostautistic]

I'm going through a similar thing right now. I deal with demand avoidance a lot and it's a nightmare especially in this situation.

 

[underairpressure]

I had the exact same problem in November. Getting everything in order really broke me. Looking back...I over did it....now I think do I really need to do x,y,z...only do what is essential. For example....do you NEED to sell stuff if its causing you added stress, why do you need to sell things if you plan to CBT? Writing a will and getting practical bits sorted is hard (like you i struggle at the best of times). I would then recommend having a little break once bits are in order - I thought I could then just go and CBT but I crashed and burned.

So, upon reflection my advice would be, as you sound like you will struggle like me...just do what is essential. Anything more will wear you down.

Then have some breathing space before the next steps.

I think that makes sense....... I'm sure part of it is that I'm overwhelming myself, thinking about all the things I'd "like" to have an in order, both big and small. And it just feels like too much. But, it's difficult to figure out what to prioritize. Like, for the selling/getting rid of stuff, I guess that'd be lower priority, but the reason I want to do it is because I hate the thought of my friends having to sort through all my junk and mess by themselves...... and, if I end up hospitalized and lose my job, I want to be prepared for possibly becoming homeless/needing to move.

There's just, a LOT of things to consider or prepare for. But having a mental health crisis is also kind of the worst time to be 'preparing' for anything. Ha

I'm going through a similar thing right now. I deal with demand avoidance a lot and it's a nightmare especially in this situation.

! That's right, demand avoidance....... I'm like that too. The more I feel like I HAVE to do something, the harder it is for me to force myself to do it. It's tough and I never figured out a way around it.

 

[TrulyNeverCertain]

I can also relate, and lists have been incredibly helpful.
It's ironic, how mental health crises are the most important time to stay on top of things.

As for getting things done, these have helped me:

• Coffee
• lists
• having peers (much appreciation to SaSu)
• patience with myself (can't get much done if that energy is used scolding myself)
• and the knowledge that it's not needed, but the knowledge it would make things better for those I care about if I did everything nice and tidy
  (It's not a demand, but making the best of the situation. Basically reframing so it doesn't feel like a demand.)

I hope this helps you, at least a little!