Discussion experiences with other mental health forums?

[eggsausagerice]

i don't know how depressing it is to talk about how often i browse sasu lol. i go on here so often that i've already read most of this week's posts when i log on, so there isn't anything new for me to see. i used to go on r/depression and r/suicidewatch semi-often. i also used to browse some self harm subreddits but they were too triggering for me. r/suicidewatch is full of teenagers most of the time and r/depression posts are either too long or too short. there's a lot of long posts there i don't feel like reading lol. i know there's other forums online that are about mental health (there's one called mentalhealthforum.net, but i always forget it exists), but none of them feel similar enough to sasu. when i'm feeling depressed it's hard for me to relate to posts that aren't talking about being suicidal or isolated from the people in their lives, so i get bummed out or feel worse when i remember there's depressed people that aren't completely alone.

i figure that i should spend less time browsing sasu if i've already read all the most recent posts this week, but i wanted to know if anyone goes anywhere else. i wonder if sasu just has a unique community vibe or i have stockholm syndrome.

 

[Topaz111]

I used to browse various subreddits too, but the support on there always felt so fake to me, lots of of "toxic positivity" there, the rules felt too strict too, I never felt safe to talk about my issues there, I mostly just lurked.
SaSu is the only place I feel safe to fully unmask and talk about the real severity of what I am going through and people are far more respectful of individual's choices too.
I come here a lot, but I don't have anyone I can be honest with irl so ig that makes sense

 

[fadedghost]

i don't know how depressing it is to talk about how often i browse sasu lol. i go on here so often that i've already read most of this week's posts when i log on, so there isn't anything new for me to see. i used to go on r/depression and r/suicidewatch semi-often. i also used to browse some self harm subreddits but they were too triggering for me. r/suicidewatch is full of teenagers most of the time and r/depression posts are either too long or too short. there's a lot of long posts there i don't feel like reading lol. i know there's other forums online that are about mental health (there's one called mentalhealthforum.net, but i always forget it exists), but none of them feel similar enough to sasu. when i'm feeling depressed it's hard for me to relate to posts that aren't talking about being suicidal or isolated from the people in their lives, so i get bummed out or feel worse when i remember there's depressed people that aren't completely alone.

i figure that i should spend less time browsing sasu if i've already read all the most recent posts this week, but i wanted to know if anyone goes anywhere else. i wonder if sasu just has a unique community vibe or i have stockholm syndrome.

I love that you read almost all the posts.

I relate to this a lot. I feel less isolated when I am on SaSu: "oh, other people who are miserable like me too" my brain seems to react with.

:'-)

 

[LastNite]

I despise r/suicidewatch and r/depression. I genuinely wish nothing but the worst on the mods of those subs. I've had the worst interactions with their mod team. One time, they banned me because 1 out of the 8 sentences I posted wasn't related to depression, while other posts are bot-like, vague, or not even on topic.
Another time I got banned was because I commented on a post with, "I relate to you, I wish I could kill myself."

Apparently, that was considered encouraging suicide.
They give zero fucks about their community and zero fucks about mental health.
The sad thing is that they moderate for free and still act like assholes.

 

[violetforever]

i wonder if sasu just has a unique community vibe or i have stockholm syndrome

i think it definitely does. i was so drawn to it when i found it because theres really nothing like it that i know of. i dont even care that im always on here. there was one week or so that i didnt feel an interest in coming on here though. i mustve been feeling a little "better" but of course it faded away.

when i'm feeling depressed it's hard for me to relate to posts that aren't talking about being suicidal or isolated from the people in their lives, so i get bummed out or feel worse when i remember there's depressed people that aren't completely alone.

this is exactly how i feel. i hate admitting this because it probably reveals how immersed i am with suicidality and this forum but it really does feel almost incomplete to me when i read something depressing and it doesnt conclude with suicidal thoughts. i feel bad about how other people are able to not go as far as considering suicide but i do. it creates a disconnect.

 

[burninghill]

r/suicidewatch always sucks so bad. Everyone on there is nice but I had about a dozen experiences where people would get very frustrated at me. I'd tell them I'm not trying to get better and they'd get annoyed at me for not accepting help. It made both of us feel like shit.

 

[TAW122]

Yeah I'm not on any other mental health forums (whether it's subreddits on Reddit or other independent forums or websites) mainly because of the censorship and notwithstanding that, the amount of platitudes, pushback, and even anti-CTB rhetoric that it becomes frustrating and even worse. I lurk around there from time to time, but I don't partake in those platforms.

 

[dreaming]

I was thinking about this, there are so few resources for emotional support or mental health that are truly genuine, I can't deny that it's saddening how it feels like the only understanding I've received in years is from a suicide forum, even though it is nice to be able to connect with others who share suicidal thoughts.
I wish there were more places that offered similar support in other areas of emotional/mental health in a similarly unfiltered way.

i don't know how depressing it is to talk about how often i browse sasu lol. i go on here so often that i've already read most of this week's posts when i log on, so there isn't anything new for me to see.

i figure that i should spend less time browsing sasu if i've already read all the most recent posts this week, but i wanted to know if anyone goes anywhere else. i wonder if sasu just has a unique community vibe or i have stockholm syndrome.

I lurk on here so much more than I probably should, reading a lot since suicide is already on my mind pretty much all the time lately and I'm usually to anxious/scared to say anything.. I remember reading threads of new users a while ago and seeing one of your replies on a post saying to recognize when you're spending too much time on sasu because "your mental health is still important even when you're depressed" or something close to that, it sounds like both of us should probably take that into consideration.

 

[eggsausagerice]

I remember reading threads of new users a while ago and seeing one of your replies on a post saying to recognize when you're spending too much time on sasu because "your mental health is still important even when you're depressed" or something close to that, it sounds like both of us should probably take that into consideration.

wuuzzurrp dreaming. thank you for reading another one of my posts. i still remember writing that comment, even though that feels like a long time ago now. i was probably in a better state of mind back then than i am now. i've been feeling pretty bad lately and there isn't anything to stop me from reaching rock bottom depression-wise, so i just go on here so i can relate to people instead of talk to people in real life that i have to lie to so that they don't look down on me or give me a wellness check. i really want to stop browsing so much if i toot my own horn about how sasu in moderation will make you more depressed, but i feel like i don't have a coping mechanism that works as well. i've thought about talking to ai, but i just end up dissociating when i do it.

r/suicidewatch always sucks so bad. Everyone on there is nice but I had about a dozen experiences where people would get very frustrated at me. I'd tell them I'm not trying to get better and they'd get annoyed at me for not accepting help. It made both of us feel like shit.

i've had almost all of my comments on suicidewatch taken down because it was about me trying to inform people that their suicide method wouldn't work or i was sounding too pro-suicidey compared to the bots that churn out motivational "don't kill yourself!" slop. when i was young, i would read r/suicidewatch and r/depression posts and wonder why someone wasn't allowed to kill themselves, since no one would ever explain why. they would just say that you should keep living because it would make the other people in your life sad. i can't care less about that.

i learned that if i expressed genuine suicide ideation to someone in real life or online, they wouldn't understand at all. it was a really lonely feeling to want to talk about something that would get censored or ignored because it made people uncomfortable. venting didn't help because i always saw living as pointless if i had no long term goals and no one that cared about me. i wish there were more places like sasu that don't think talking about suicide is dangerous.

it probably reveals how immersed i am with suicidality and this forum but it really does feel almost incomplete to me when i read something depressing and it doesnt conclude with suicidal thoughts. i feel bad about how other people are able to not go as far as considering suicide but i do. it creates a disconnect.

i feel sad when people recover or stop being suicidally depressed. i stop seeing them as someone i can relate to and see my suicidality as something that's just going to harm them or making them uncomfortable, because they aren't interested in killing themselves anymore. i blocked the recovery forum because it made me too sad that i have no way to get out of my situation and stop seeing death as the only way out. all the people in my life have told me they want to live and have never seriously considered suicide before, so i know i can't trust them with my unfiltered thoughts or they'll call the cops on me. i'm really tired of people trying to talk me out of killing myself, because it just reminds me that they're unable to see from my point of view at all. i have no hope and no energy to hope. the single choice i can make for myself is giving up.

 

[annointed_towers]

I used to be a heavy Reddit user. But it wasn't working anymore as I got more sick, isolated, poor and disabled.

My posts on r/disability would get few replies despite being viewed by thousands. And the responses I did get ignored the content of the post. "You need to buy little things like sweet treats! You can't deny yourself that!" The post detailed how I had no money. No disability benefits because the process is so long and hard and gauntlet-like, usually requires a lawyer and transportation and time able to sit upright at a computer. I blew through my emergency fund after a few years, got thrown in hospitals and am in thousands of dollars of debt. Sometimes there is zero money in my bank account if not always. My mom gives me some spare change now and then. I'm an adult.

I posted on that sub too about wanting a partner, a child, a family. About being hopeless romantic who dreamed of marriage, a kid or two. But I'm bedridden, housebound, too in pain to have sex, can't meet someone. Plus I'm not exactly desirable or have "market value" in the dating world. I just got comments like "never give up hope! You'll find someone!"

Well intentioned but no, I won't.

I even posted on r/infertility. I said I'm not technically infertile but functionally I am. It was a post in response to a thread about feeling violently jealous when you saw other women with children or pregnant. Sent into total despair and darkness. I thought, wow, I don't see anyone admit that often. Not on the clear web.

A few hours later I got a notif that the moderator had banned me, my Reddit account was locked for "suspicious activity." I couldn't post for months. All because I was technically infertile.

All the childless subreddits are about some disease you have to have, or ChildFree and loving it, or trying but not getting pregnant. I don't fit those categories. I can't try, I am not loving it, I don't have an infertility disease. Just a disease that makes me functionally unable to conceive — body too in pain, can't leave the house, no one would want me.

Even some of the personality ones — like INFJ and SchizoidAdjacent, it's still usually normal people who feel like outcasts but really aren't. They still have friends, jobs. They're not as actually screwed as I am.

 

[dreaming]

wuuzzurrp dreaming. thank you for reading another one of my posts. i still remember writing that comment, even though that feels like a long time ago now. i was probably in a better state of mind back then than i am now. i've been feeling pretty bad lately and there isn't anything to stop me from reaching rock bottom depression-wise, so i just go on here so i can relate to people instead of talk to people in real life that i have to lie to so that they don't look down on me or give me a wellness check. i really want to stop browsing so much if i toot my own horn about how sasu in moderation will make you more depressed, but i feel like i don't have a coping mechanism that works as well. i've thought about talking to ai, but i just end up dissociating when i do it.

i learned that if i expressed genuine suicide ideation to someone in real life or online, they wouldn't understand at all. it was a really lonely feeling to want to talk about something that would get censored or ignored because it made people uncomfortable. venting didn't help because i always saw living as pointless if i had no long term goals and no one that cared about me. i wish there were more places like sasu that don't think talking about suicide is dangerous.

I've kept those words in mind even though I haven't exactly followed them, same reasoning here though, I lurk hoping I can find people with feelings I relate/connect with and read their thoughts, to feel less lonely I suppose, especially lately since I have little else I feel like doing anymore.
if you're desperate for someone to talk to with maybe some level of relatability idm if you message me if you want since you've been nice or helpful all our previous interactions.
I avoid people irl when I can because both I feel like I make them more upset and I'm so beyond exhausted from pretending to feel/act normal and fine around them but personally I can't talk to AI, it only makes me feel worse since it's not someone else and bc of me being into art just feels bad for me if I were to use it, idk if that makes sense.

people always whine at you "suicide bad" rather than actually try to understand why you feel that way in the first place, it's such an isolating experience and I think it pushes people even farther towards it honestly.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

Honestly, SaSu is the only place I can express my desire to die and issues with my life and not get a thousand responses about how I just "need to look on the bright side" or "learn how to improve," even among circles on the regular net that do deal with depression and suicidal ideation. SaSu either gives actionable advice on how to get better or has people able to relate to you. I've seen groups on the regular net that are willing to relate to you, but it's almost like every time you pull up your desire to CTB, people just go silent or silently judge you. I don't feel that as much on SaSu. Probably because everyone is here for the same reason and not to try and "save" others.