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Sadbrains

Sadbrains

She/They
Mar 10, 2023
50
I overdosed last night. I am addicted to the worst OTC drug, Benadryl. Sorry for using the name outright, as I'm unsure of the acronym for antihistamine. I did not do this to try to CBT, and the experience was scary. This isn't the first time I almost CTB from this medicine either, but this was by far the worst. I feel discouraged from my actual plans to CTB, and might even move to the recovery section FOR NOW. I had so many paradoxes of feelings. I felt scared, alone, and regret when it became hard to breath. I stopped breathing for an entire 2 minutes at one point last night (and trouble breathing in general), and that's when I realized it might have been the end. I would rather CTB than go to a hospital that I can't pay for. The first 30 minutes of on and off breathing, dizziness, discomfort, and paranoia were the longest 30 minutes of my life. Slipping in and out of consciousness, panicking, and trying to write some last words out.
Although I was feeling so many negative things, after 30 minutes went by, came acceptance. I wasn't scared anymore. I started closing my eyes on my own will, preparing never to wake up. I was upset at all the things I didn't get to do in life. But I felt peaceful after accepting at the same time. Please, do not attempt to CTB on OTC drugs. It was very uncomfortable and painful. My head felt like it was going to explode everytime I couldn't breath.

The reason I am addicted to benadryl is because it makes me forget about everything. Depersonalization happens during the trip, and even a day or so after. Nothing feels real, which I love. However, it also makes me think deeply about things. I still am leaning towards CTB, because that peaceful feeling at what I thought was the end was a positive in my eyes. But I am also going to try everything in my power until my planned date to NOT CTB.

Thanks for reading anyone. And if there are questions further about my experience, I'm happy to answer. Just once again, I have a strong negative opinion on the method and see why it's not recommended by anyone.
Also, I just wanted to say, if you are considering this as a method, I am not trying to push you away. It's your choice at the end of the day.
 
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00nobody00

Member
Jan 25, 2023
44
I used to mess around with benadryl. I really enjoyed it. I feel like time would slow down and I could literally pay close attention to everything that was happening around me in perfect detail. Like every passing second felt like 10 seconds
 
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Sadbrains

Sadbrains

She/They
Mar 10, 2023
50
I used to mess around with benadryl. I really enjoyed it. I feel like time would slow down and I could literally pay close attention to everything that was happening around me in perfect detail. Like every passing second felt like 10 seconds
I'm glad someone else gets this. Most websites and people who talk about Benadryl say it's not a good high.
 
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AnonymousL

AnonymousL

Specialist
Apr 5, 2023
366
This is a fear I have when I'd CTB. What if I start regretting it ? Get too scared ?

I don't want to go to the hospital and be stuck there
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
34,877
That sounds like a horrible experience but anyway thank you for sharing.
 
soulkitty

soulkitty

ロロ□
Apr 6, 2024
730
I used to mess around with benadryl. I really enjoyed it. I feel like time would slow down and I could literally pay close attention to everything that was happening around me in perfect detail. Like every passing second felt like 10 seconds
Right? Time slows down like crazy when I overdose. I feel like hours have passed when it's only been like 20 mins
 
goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
736
I considered oxygone OD'ing as my only way out but now after reading this i'm more scared than i was before and now idk what to do
 
zombiegirl

zombiegirl

the living dead
Aug 17, 2023
111
benadryl delirium is the worst thing eever
 
L

lan11

Member
Feb 2, 2023
16
I overdosed last night. I am addicted to the worst OTC drug, Benadryl. Sorry for using the name outright, as I'm unsure of the acronym for antihistamine. I did not do this to try to CBT, and the experience was scary. This isn't the first time I almost CTB from this medicine either, but this was by far the worst. I feel discouraged from my actual plans to CTB, and might even move to the recovery section FOR NOW. I had so many paradoxes of feelings. I felt scared, alone, and regret when it became hard to breath. I stopped breathing for an entire 2 minutes at one point last night (and trouble breathing in general), and that's when I realized it might have been the end. I would rather CTB than go to a hospital that I can't pay for. The first 30 minutes of on and off breathing, dizziness, discomfort, and paranoia were the longest 30 minutes of my life. Slipping in and out of consciousness, panicking, and trying to write some last words out.
Although I was feeling so many negative things, after 30 minutes went by, came acceptance. I wasn't scared anymore. I started closing my eyes on my own will, preparing never to wake up. I was upset at all the things I didn't get to do in life. But I felt peaceful after accepting at the same time. Please, do not attempt to CTB on OTC drugs. It was very uncomfortable and painful. My head felt like it was going to explode everytime I couldn't breath.

The reason I am addicted to benadryl is because it makes me forget about everything. Depersonalization happens during the trip, and even a day or so after. Nothing feels real, which I love. However, it also makes me think deeply about things. I still am leaning towards CTB, because that peaceful feeling at what I thought was the end was a positive in my eyes. But I am also going to try everything in my power until my planned date to NOT CTB.

Thanks for reading anyone. And if there are questions further about my experience, I'm happy to answer. Just once again, I have a strong negative opinion on the method and see why it's not recommended by anyone.
Also, I just wanted to say, if you are considering this as a method, I am not trying to push you away. It's your choice at the end of the day.
Can I ask how much you took like what dose? Sorry to hear you had such a difficult experience
 
willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
1,762
I've never massively overdosed on it, but every micro overdose I've done of benadryl has been highly unpleasant. It feels like electric currents running through my body every time I move and the feeling of air running through my wind pipes is unpleasant. My mouth gets dry and I get so drowsy it's hard to move yet I can't sleep.
 
A

akwa

Member
Apr 20, 2024
27
This is a fear I have when I'd CTB. What if I start regretting it ? Get too scared ?

I don't want to go to the hospital and be stuck there
Same...as much as I don't like the thought of using a gun, at least you can't unpull the trigger.
 
Sadbrains

Sadbrains

She/They
Mar 10, 2023
50
I considered oxygone OD'ing as my only way out but now after reading this i'm more scared than i was before and now idk what to do
Late response but there are a few things I hear of with better death experiences, but the problem is the fatality rate is shameful. Not to encourage, but if OD'ing is really the only choice you have, I'd recommend doing research on some drugs that numbs you before it even happens. But once again, from my research, majority is like playing a game of cards.
Can I ask how much you took like what dose? Sorry to hear you had such a difficult experience
As I am still addicted to this day, A normal dose for me now is about 500mg, so if I had to guess considering I've been rushed to the ER 2 more times since then, maybe 750-1000mg. It usually happens when I use several days in a row, in which my tolerance makes me do stupid things. "JUST 10 more (the pills are usually 25mg)". 500 is already a fatal number so I'm walking on thin ice already so decided to spread awareness since I hear about so many people trying this exact drug to CTB. When I overdose, it's HOURS of suffering and my body failing and coming back. And you can feel EVERYTHING during the times your body is responsive.
 
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