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- Aug 31, 2018
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Do you have any advice about how I can refill my argon tank? Where I should go? What to say? Etc. I want to try again, but with a bag.
In my area you can go to the welding air supply store ls for a refill, keep in mind that some of these stores want to exchange your tank for a full one, which can be a problem for your attatchment size. Sometimes they will fill your tank same day, sometimes they will fill your tank in a few days and you leave it there. If you find an air supply store, I would call ahead of time to see what the story is
I have the supplies for this method too. I've tried the bag on & filled it with N2 but I haven't attempted because of my fear of the bag & general fear after a failure with another method that really set me back.I just remembered another potential "cover story" for buying inert gas: for those who keep large stocks of long-storage food on hand --"preppers"-- flooding the containers of dry goods with inert gas is a way to keep out the moths, mice, and microbes and prevent nutritional degredation from oxidization. A 5-gallon bucket mostly full of rice, or beans, or whatever, lasts a lot longer if it is "headspaced" with N2 or Ar before being lidded. Some people just toss in a chunk of dry ice (CO2) to kill the bugs and mice, but the inert gas is better at actual preservation of the nutritional value.
To that end, I've now shifted my tank of N2 into the pantry in case anyone comes looking.
I'm not sure how to reassure your fears; they can be so complex, and things I have done to prepare myself --donning the bag every so often just to acclimate myself to having it on my head, etc.-- may not be useful to you.I have the supplies for this method too. I've tried the bag on & filled it with N2 but I haven't attempted because of my fear of the bag & general fear after a failure with another method that really set me back.
I'm very concerned that you tried it 3x & the survival instinct made you pull the bag off. That could well happen to me. You are going to try again?
I've seen you talk about them, but not described like that. I feel like we're forced to be guinea pigs. And sensorship means the same mistakes are repeatedSurvival instinct is a bitch. As I've described elsewhere(?), in that moment where I started to black out it was as though I became two people: the persona who was desperate to ctb, and a much, much steadier persona, less present in my mindset but somehow more forceful, who took control of my body and removed the bag from my head. I did not tear the bag off or struggle, I just quickly and dexterously removed it from my head. Then that second persona vanished and I collapsed in a sobbing heap. The description coming to my mind now is that it was akin to being a small child, and lifted away from my games by a far larger adult that I hadn't a chance to even struggle against effectively. It had shades of the same sense of impotence, fury, frustration, indignation, injustice.
I've been thinking about my experiences a lot, trying to make sense of them. Partly to figure out a way around that second, protective persona --but I admit it's also partly to question whether I am on the right path. I spend so much time telling other members of ss to explore every other path, to really question whether ctb is the right thing to do, I think it's only right that I demand the same introspection of myself.I've seen you talk about them, but not described like that. I feel like we're forced to be guinea pigs. And sensorship means the same mistakes are repeated
Yes I know this feeling of 2 minds.I'm not sure how to reassure your fears; they can be so complex, and things I have done to prepare myself --donning the bag every so often just to acclimate myself to having it on my head, etc.-- may not be useful to you.
Survival instinct is a bitch. As I've described elsewhere(?), in that moment where I started to black out it was as though I became two people: the persona who was desperate to ctb, and a much, much steadier persona, less present in my mindset but somehow more forceful, who took control of my body and removed the bag from my head. I did not tear the bag off or struggle, I just quickly and dexterously removed it from my head. Then that second persona vanished and I collapsed in a sobbing heap. The description coming to my mind now is that it was akin to being a small child, and lifted away from my games by a far larger adult that I hadn't a chance to even struggle against effectively. It had shades of the same sense of impotence, fury, frustration, indignation, injustice.
Will I try again? Yes. At least that's my current intent. The method is as proven as any other, from what I can tell it is as painless as all sources say it is, and it will not leave so unpleasant a corpse as my back-up method (firearm). So I will keep trying for so long as I have enough N2 in the tank to get the job done and not leave myself alive but brain damaged. What have I got to lose?
Yes, you need to use elastic: the seal around your neck must be flexible to allow the inert gas to carry away the CO2.
If you don't allow the inert gas to carry away the CO2, the CO2 will trigger your hypercapnic alarm, your body will react beyond your conscious control and you will pull away the bag, and your attempt will fail.
So long as the hole you punch is 1) adequately reinforced by tape, and 2) large enough for the elastic to pass through without further tearing the bag, I don't see why that wouldn't work. Give it a try.Ok thanks. Can I also use a single hole puncher to make a hole for the elastic, or does it have to be a slit?
I think the video for final exit network mentioned alcohol and sleeping pills but not enough to not know what you are doing.Would alcohol help to calm the nerves during that first minute when you pull that bag down before you pass out? Obviously you wouldnt want to get too drunk... Or you'll screw it up. I'll probably avoid alcohol altogether or maybe have just a few beers before hand
This is a bit off topic for the title of the OP, but for me, personally, I'm conflicted about a sedative/anxiolytic. On the one hand, yes, it would probably help. Those seconds/minutes/?? when I have the bag over my head, and I start to black out, are very, very stressful. Survival instinct is a bitch, and that's what's caused me to fail in the past. Dulling that SI would make it easier to ctb.Would alcohol help to calm the nerves during that first minute when you pull that bag down before you pass out? Obviously you wouldnt want to get too drunk... Or you'll screw it up. I'll probably avoid alcohol altogether or maybe have just a few beers before hand
That makes a lot of sense. Onset would be way too slow. Even if the gas is already flowing and all I have to do after I've snorted it is put the bag over my head I can see that this wouldn't be the way to go.
I've only snorted it in small amounts. Oddly enough it was prescribed as a treatment for depression after I did ketamine infusion therapy. I had figured that more would be faster/more immobilizing.
That must have been crazy bringing it into the hospital!
I been looking into beer making kits. CO2 and a mask. But need to find a regulator. That's not $500.Ugh...I might have some trouble getting a good 8L tank into play. Wish I could collect up mutiple small disposables and tie them in to the bag but works out too expensive, and jeez, all the pipes.