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eightyninedee

Member
May 28, 2019
12
Recovery is not possible for everyone, I have been crying out for help, turned away by 2 suicide charities for counselling who cannot meet my needs because I have schizoaffective disorder despite being in 'crisis', told to contact my psychiatrist who's answer is always to throw me in hospital so he doesn't have to deal with me. My GP sends me to to the psychiatrist or tells me to go to A&E

Private counselors say they are not qualified to help me.

Private hospital covered by insurance say they can't take me on as they have a 5 month waiting list,

Suicide textline stopped texting back, another told me they can't help to text the other one!

'Friend' I told i was feeling "feeling low" to contacted my sister,

Work have told me I can't come back until I have seen the company doctor- who I had a call with and he can't even pronounce schizoaffective disorder.

To access the Home Based Treatment team you literally have to be coming from the hospital back in to the community. I am not going in to hospital. Plus they are 9-5 and half the time don't return calls.

It's world mental health day and everyone is saying reach out etc... but I have exhausted all avenues,

When you try kill your self you are asked why you didn't ask for help, when you do you are passed on and ignored,
 
P

pole

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,377
Recovery is not possible for everyone, I have been crying out for help, turned away by 2 suicide charities for counselling who cannot meet my needs because I have schizoaffective disorder despite being in 'crisis', told to contact my psychiatrist who's answer is always to throw me in hospital so he doesn't have to deal with me. My GP sends me to to the psychiatrist or tells me to go to A&E

Private counselors say they are not qualified to help me.

Private hospital covered by insurance say they can't take me on as they have a 5 month waiting list,

Suicide textline stopped texting back, another told me they can't help to text the other one!

'Friend' I told i was feeling "feeling low" to contacted my sister,

Work have told me I can't come back until I have seen the company doctor- who I had a call with and he can't even pronounce schizoaffective disorder.

To access the Home Based Treatment team you literally have to be coming from the hospital back in to the community. I am not going in to hospital. Plus they are 9-5 and half the time don't return calls.

It's world mental health day and everyone is saying reach out etc... but I have exhausted all avenues,

When you try kill your self you are asked why you didn't ask for help, when you do you are passed on and ignored,
jesus christ, im sorry wtf. they emphasize the aspect of reaching out, yet have people such as yourself who are turned away ever so easily because of the flaws of the very system.

i just hope you somehow keep trying. theres definitely people out there who cant afford to turn you down. like it baffles my fricken mind, everywhere you've turned, theres been some sort of excuse or reason in not helping you. its just bad luck in all honestly, not ur fault and completely fricken ridiculous. is there some sort of local MH crisis teams you can just talk to, thats all and go from there. just even talking to, and letting MH workers help you out and to serve as guidance would help immensely.

im sorry for the stupidity and bad luck you've endured in trying to reach out for help. if you really do need anyone to talk to, were all ears.
 
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LonelyLight

Warlock
May 31, 2019
779
I'm so sorry that everyone around you has failed you so badly!!!
Please feel free to pm me if ever you'd like to chat :heart:
The last sentence you wrote was absolutely spot on. When we do ctb, they will say they never seen it coming, he/she should have asked for help, I would have been there for them... huh? Really? -_-
 
L

LMFAO FOCKERS

Lost in Aokigahara
May 26, 2019
528
It's world mental health day and everyone is saying reach out etc... but I have exhausted all avenues,


Your post really hurts my heart so bad especially because it seems as if you are doing everything in your power to help yourself and no one is stepping up to the plate.

I think you should go to some kind of social service center or even a police station. Camp out in front until someone takes notice. Someone has to know somebody?? I really hope something turns around for you soon.


Sending you big virtual hugs!:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,626
I'm really sorry about your situation and I don't really have any good suggestions for you, but whatever option you end up taking, I wish you the best and peace. I do concur with your sentiments that the people who are supposed to help others don't do so (or are inadequate and incompetent), yet the same very people judge and place the onus on the individual for not trying hard enough or not seeking help. It really is a huge irony and a clusterfuck of a system.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
If you have not tried Dianabol, lifting weights and testosterone then you havent really tried "everything ".

You see , Dianabol is feel good enhancer steroid , and testosterone is the Male hormone.
So if you are really willing to kill yourself, the least you can do, is give it a shot.

And what if it kills you? You were willing to die anyway so come on, steroids are not ultra bad, Arnold Schwarzenegger used them since young and he's a governor, you'd be lucky only if you at least dont feel bad.

I dont feel depressed anymore, yes I had been labeled, depressed, schizo, and even bipolar throughout the 20 years I have of depression. Even had ect. Hospitalized, therapies....


I gave it a shot and its alright so far....
 
White_Room293

White_Room293

rapid cycling gay guy
Sep 13, 2019
155
If you have not tried Dianabol, lifting weights and testosterone then you havent really tried "everything ".

You see , Dianabol is feel good enhancer steroid , and testosterone is the Male hormone.
So if you are really willing to kill yourself, the least you can do, is give it a shot.

And what if it kills you? You were willing to die anyway so come on, steroids are not ultra bad, Arnold Schwarzenegger used them since young and he's a governor, you'd be lucky only if you at least dont feel bad.

I dont feel depressed anymore, yes I had been labeled, depressed, schizo, and even bipolar throughout the 20 years I have of depression. Even had ect. Hospitalized, therapies....


I gave it a shot and its alright so far....
I'm assuming you don't live in the USA. Do you even know if getting steroids are easy to get in the US?
 
Misanthrope

Misanthrope

Mage
Oct 23, 2018
557
This should be turned into a poster and put up everywhere during Mental health awareness day and beyond. It is just another day of lip service of pretending to care, but it does nothing to address deeply ingrained systemic failures. Certainly won't change them. But some nice catch phrases and warm sentiments will certainly be bandied about.Then it will be another day and you will still be a casualty where nothing has meaningfully changed. Your story is all too common. That in itself should be a travesty. You are dealing with the warped catch 22. That if you want help you are not sick enough to qualify. Because the entirety of mental health services seems to operate on only trying to help when a person is so past broken they don't want that help any more. Then it gets forced which is rightfully viewed as an assault. I wish had something beneficial to say. It is honestly bleak out there.
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
I'm assuming you don't live in the USA. Do you even know if getting steroids are easy to get in the US?
I would try Facebook.
...but it does nothing to address deeply ingrained systemic failures.
The failure is in the blood , in the testosterone levels, fuck all the psychological issues, them are not responsible to what I felt

Then it will be another day and you will still be a casualty where nothing has meaningfully changed.
After 20 years I'm finally alright, when that day comes, I will probably be thinking like you do here, I'm thankful I'm not now. I feel sorry you, hugs


Your story is all too common.
You talking about some else I think...
I can't read any story like mine in this forum, so common? Hahaha okay if you say so, I only care to hit the gym in a short while and keep feeling good and doing things today.

You are dealing with the warped catch 22. That if you want help you are not sick enough to qualify.
After twenty years of depression, three suicide attempts, ECT therapy, like 4 dozens of medications and still having N in my fridge. I like it when you say I'm not sick enough to qualify, alright!

Plus , I think you shouldn't expect "help" from someone sick enough, no. You should expect help from people who have found recovery, not from another suicidal person. With them you can share and dialogue and try to help.... but come on, you won't let a blind man tell you what color Red looks like.

I wish had something beneficial to say.
I wish you did too, I really wish your family was so happy like mine is right now with my recovery, my brother truly loves me , and he's happy , it's cool.



Today I'll hit the gym in a short while.
I'm looked very good actually, inward a skinny 125lbs bitch, I've grown and bulked up, but I'm not doing this to look good, I did it because I was going to drink N, and in another post a guy asked me if i had tried with Dianabol , which is a mood enhancer , and testosterone.

So the very next day I bought them through Facebook.

And whole they arrive , I bought the expensive 1 shot version at the gym.

So later I want to see a girl I've met but i still dont knowing incab commit to a long term relationship, i dont know if I will go back to depressed mode. Hence, i still have N in my fridge.


Then I'm gonna have a good meal.

Then I'm going to work on programming my own business, which I will have a demo soon.


Things are good for me, if you, or anyone else wants to cut my wings, or share a negative experience which doesn't enhance or makes me grow, I only cast it aside, because I feel good, and if I accomplish my goals im great, why would some words someone say should hurt me?
Not if I don't identify myself no more.


I really like when you say I'm not sick enough to share or give advice. Specially with my ect scar showing in my left side of the head, which insee everyday and I'm sure people wonder how I got that scar LOL, I on purpose cut my hair short, I like to remember or i dont like to forget, but I'm not that person anymore.

See you on the flip-side, the recovery side.

Now I understand some people, have no solution, thought I had not, and really I was okay with dying,
Nitrogen tank was my third attempt.

So if someone here want to ctb, cool, I understand,
But have you tried everything?

Have you tried Dianabol and testosterone?

If not, then you havent tried everything, and you shouldn't ctb without trying everything.


Plus I dont sell Dianabol , nor Testo
Nor I'm posting referral links

I earn or profit nothing from this.

I just share my experience
 
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