Right now it seems like they have a plan. They've told me about how they're not looking forward to anything, they're just tired and have had enough. I want to help them as best as I can because they've always done that for me, but at the same time idk how especially since I'm in the same boat. So who am I to convince someone else to live when I'm planning my own exit? I feel like telling someone would be the best idea, but that's only because that's what everyone always says. Like if I were in that situation I wouldn't want anyone to tell a person who could send me to the hospital iygm. All I can do is try to comfort them but I know that's not enough. They're going to do it if I don't get them help.
AllMyDreams
Experienced
- Dec 12, 2021
- 279
I feel like it's different for everyone, like people who have lived a long life with debilitating mental/physical conditions, vs. young people who impulsively want to CTB because something bad happened to them, or who haven't tried all available treatment options. What category is your friend in? If he is in the second category I personally always advocate trying everything else before CTB.
If you are concerned about hospitals I would try to research the treatment of patients as much as possible. Perhaps there is help you can find for them that won't institutionalize them, as well.
As someone who has wanted to CTB throughout my adult life I recognize that every case is different and that help can help some people. It has even helped me somewhat, though I am still often suicidal, it's much less than when I was a teenager.
If you are concerned about hospitals I would try to research the treatment of patients as much as possible. Perhaps there is help you can find for them that won't institutionalize them, as well.
As someone who has wanted to CTB throughout my adult life I recognize that every case is different and that help can help some people. It has even helped me somewhat, though I am still often suicidal, it's much less than when I was a teenager.
I don't know, try and be there for them, and let them know they're not alone. It can't hurt
Dark Window
Forest Wanderer
- Mar 12, 2024
- 548
1) You need to try and understand why they want to kill themselves in full.
2) You need to ascertain info about what they've tired
3) You need to make suggestions as to how it may get better and what to try.
4) If the above steps don't work, then perhaps open up to them about how you are suicidal, and he can lean on you for support, and maybe you'll figure out ways to get better.
2) You need to ascertain info about what they've tired
3) You need to make suggestions as to how it may get better and what to try.
4) If the above steps don't work, then perhaps open up to them about how you are suicidal, and he can lean on you for support, and maybe you'll figure out ways to get better.
Its tough when you have suicidal friends.
On one hand, you don' want them to go because they are your friend and you will miss them
On the other hand, you don't want them to suffer and be in agony either for potentially decades.
Whatever you choose to do, maybe try to make the most with them while they are still here
On one hand, you don' want them to go because they are your friend and you will miss them
On the other hand, you don't want them to suffer and be in agony either for potentially decades.
Whatever you choose to do, maybe try to make the most with them while they are still here
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,891
It's not your decision to make, sorry. I don't even understand the question as if one wants to die it's not about you and what you want, rather it's very much a personal decision that is up to the individual. Just because you may value life and see wanting to die as an illness that one needs "helping" from doesn't mean that others should have to pay the price for that by being tortured in psych wards against their wishes.
AllMyDreams
Experienced
- Dec 12, 2021
- 279
I disagree, I think what you should do depends on the person. Some people actually can be helped but they may not be able to see it by themselves. As long as you're not subjecting your friend to something traumatic (again, research the state of hospitals in your area, and alternative treatment options) I think that trying to help them is generally a good thing, especially if they haven't sought help before.
4am
there’s nothing for you (it/its)
- Dec 14, 2023
- 3,332
bFre3
Member
- Apr 8, 2024
- 63
The last thing I would want is for someone to act differently if they find out I'm suicidal. It just adds more guilt and shame and sorry for when I eventually will do it.
So, my personal advice is to not treat them as a suicidal person but rather a friend, as you always have. Just be there for them if they need you.
So, my personal advice is to not treat them as a suicidal person but rather a friend, as you always have. Just be there for them if they need you.
willitpass
Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
- Mar 10, 2020
- 2,941
Just be there for them. Listen to them. Let them talk. Tell them you understand what they're feeling and offer them help, but don't force it. Forcing help can be so harmful and traumatizing, but if they have never tried anything before I would strongly encourage them to seek help. Help them find a therapist or a psychiatrist. Offer to take them out for meals, offer to come over and just be with them, offer to do fun things or offer to just exist together.
In my experience and many other peoples here, psych wards have never helped. They have always done more harm than good. They are traumatizing and the staff are abusive. Theyll keep you alive while you're there (in most cases) but they'll make you wish more than anything you had just done it. I would personally not recommend putting someone in one, I would try literally anything and everything before I ever sent a friend to one, and I would kill myself by any possible means before I was ever caught in one again. That being said, some people have found benefit in them, though statistically the satisfaction rates aren't very good, and the abuse rates are very high.
In my experience and many other peoples here, psych wards have never helped. They have always done more harm than good. They are traumatizing and the staff are abusive. Theyll keep you alive while you're there (in most cases) but they'll make you wish more than anything you had just done it. I would personally not recommend putting someone in one, I would try literally anything and everything before I ever sent a friend to one, and I would kill myself by any possible means before I was ever caught in one again. That being said, some people have found benefit in them, though statistically the satisfaction rates aren't very good, and the abuse rates are very high.
I feel like they're mostly in the first category. It's something they've struggled with for years now. They can't sleep, sometimes disassociates and just generally has a lot of stuff going on. I'm not sure if they've tried all the available treatment options though. They've been on different medications, is going to therapy and has been hospitalized but that's all I really know about that.
Where we live there aren't many other options. Mental health services are still going through developments I think.
Do you think that the help you got was good for you in the long term or do you wish you didn't get help and just did it?
SilentSadness
The rain pours eternally.
- Feb 28, 2023
- 1,125
Please consider before backstabbing your friend, I understand you still want their company, but they're not obliged to accept any "help". I suggest you accept their wishes and help them with any problems you can solve.
That's why I don't know what to do because this is my thought process too. It's their decision. Maybe they don't want help. But when it was me going through stuff and they looked out for me they'd be like "what would you do if it were me?" "wouldn't you want me to get help too?". Stuff like that.
But then I see the other side. Why would I want them to suffer either by continuing with life or possible being sent to the hospital?
They want and need something because they call asking to hangout because they're not feeling good, but idk what?
I wouldn't tell anyone without asking them first, but yea I'll just offer what I can for now. I don't want them to be forced into getting help they don't want.
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AllMyDreams
Experienced
- Dec 12, 2021
- 279
I think getting diagnosed with autism/OCD did help me in that I was able to learn strategies to find life easier. Not all of the therapy or help I received was useful but some of it was. I was in hospital once which was just a place to keep me safe during crisis. It wasn't fun but it was necessary to keep me alive. I went from being suicidal every day when I was a teenager to now still suicidal sometimes but also I often have good days.
I would definitely sit down with your friend and with their help form a plan. Think of treatment options that they haven't tried. Try to get to the bottom of why they feel this way, on a deeper level. The fact that you also feel suicidal can be a resource since they could relate to you in a way they can't relate to their therapist.
If they are talking about CTB then it indicates they are looking for help.
I'd share my experiences with them and try and sign post to professional support.
People ready to CTB don't generally talk about it or have regrets.
I'd share my experiences with them and try and sign post to professional support.
People ready to CTB don't generally talk about it or have regrets.
real human being
full of broken thoughts
- Jan 28, 2022
- 213
'Trying to help them' is great. Calling the police on them or getting them institutionalized is taking away their free will. It's unethical and it's wrong. Going to a hospital is their choice and you're not entitled to make it for them no matter what you think
That's complete bullshit. People who are seriously planning to commit suicide can want to talk about it, and they can have 'regrets' but deem that dying is the best option nontheless.
Dusk till dawn
Student
- Sep 7, 2018
- 198
Respect their autonomy and don't try spreading unnecessary toxic positivity, it's as simple as that, that'll be the best way you can help your friend if he hasn't passed away yet
rokonie
Member
- Jun 3, 2024
- 72
Helping doesn't have to be calling the police and forcefully getting them institutionalized, nor is it encouraging them to go forward with ctb as a first response imo.
If your friend is opening up about this, I think that means they are still holding on to the hope that there's a solution that isn't death. If they really wanted to die then they wouldn't have told you. As a friend, the best you can do is listen and ask if there's anything you can do to make the pain hurt less.
If your friend is opening up about this, I think that means they are still holding on to the hope that there's a solution that isn't death. If they really wanted to die then they wouldn't have told you. As a friend, the best you can do is listen and ask if there's anything you can do to make the pain hurt less.
Agree. Listen as best as you can because they want to talk. And sometimes talking can provide clarity and they may decide not to do it. But of course you shouldn't try to assume the role of therapist, but perhaps you can steer them in that direction if it feels like that's what they're looking for. I've only had one friend who was suicidal and she said she's not anymore.
