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LostSoul1609

LostSoul1609

Experienced
Mar 9, 2021
245
It's almost like the universe itself wants me to suffer. Wonder what I did to piss him off so much.

Does anyone else feel this?
 
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S like Siren

S like Siren

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,564
Yeah,most of the time
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,365
I have been at it for over 50 years of up and down and I feel like a yo-yo. There are times that it is like, "hey it looks better", then BANG! and I get chopped at the knees and have another lousy major depression attack. I totally 100% agree with you @LostSoul1609 as far as what did I do to make him so darn mad at me about? Walter
 
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demuic

demuic

Life was a mistake
Sep 12, 2020
1,383
Yes, that's why I've given up on recovery for good and will CTB as soon as possible.
 
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hybridtheory

hybridtheory

kels
Jun 22, 2019
487
Every fucking time. You try so hard to focus on recovery and you take away all of the distractions and you're actually doing new stuff, trying to find new hobbies, you think you're doing so well and then BAM .. right back to where you were. Depressed and suicidal, it feels so disappointing when you catch yourself falling back into the same pattern.. but it's the you that you're used to so not like you can blame yourself. That version just feels more real because getting better??? nah doesn't ever feel possible to me.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,216
Yes, if in the past I have had the slightest bit of hope, it has been taken away. Life can really be cruel. I just want to fall into an eternal sleep.
 
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