Livingvsdying25
Enlightened
- Dec 8, 2019
- 1,188
If im looking at dying im fucking struggling with finding a method I can execute.
And that leaves me with what?? Fucking nothing. Unless I cultivate a lack of care enough to jump off a bridge and tbh id have to be like xanax levels of high as hell to even think about that shit(but im sober and im considering it tonight)
Going through the gruesome fucking process of trying to hang myself and who the fuck wants to do that? And again would probs needa be zonked to some degree to even try.
And N well thats apparently rn has fucked up shipping so I don't fucking know?
Bleeding out seemed tempting until I realized how deep id have to cut and like maybe pass out soon after but the initial pain isnt for me...
Urghh and there's like most others that are just too physically involved.
And living welllll..... its living a very limited and disabled life without any family support and I just can't fucking deal with all the concepts of the costs and shit.
My health symptoms got bad so my friend called ambulance with my.consent andddd Climbing the stairs today and I felt like I was going to literally collapse.. when the paramedics took me outside I felt like crying. I haven't been outside since Thursday and honestly I've been bedridden for longer but something this time is just tooooo much.
Likeeeee ughhh just gimme the courage to fucking end this shit life.
And that leaves me with what?? Fucking nothing. Unless I cultivate a lack of care enough to jump off a bridge and tbh id have to be like xanax levels of high as hell to even think about that shit(but im sober and im considering it tonight)
Going through the gruesome fucking process of trying to hang myself and who the fuck wants to do that? And again would probs needa be zonked to some degree to even try.
And N well thats apparently rn has fucked up shipping so I don't fucking know?
Bleeding out seemed tempting until I realized how deep id have to cut and like maybe pass out soon after but the initial pain isnt for me...
Urghh and there's like most others that are just too physically involved.
And living welllll..... its living a very limited and disabled life without any family support and I just can't fucking deal with all the concepts of the costs and shit.
My health symptoms got bad so my friend called ambulance with my.consent andddd Climbing the stairs today and I felt like I was going to literally collapse.. when the paramedics took me outside I felt like crying. I haven't been outside since Thursday and honestly I've been bedridden for longer but something this time is just tooooo much.
Likeeeee ughhh just gimme the courage to fucking end this shit life.